The Pam Dichotomy, JAM Split Personality Options

[scrantonbranch]

The fate of JAM inevitably lies in Pam's hands. Jim has always worn his feelings on his sleeve and finally made his move, (and a glorious move it was!) We've known what he wanted and how he felt from the start. Pam, on the other hand, has always been more ambiguous in her actions and feelings towards Jim. In some episodes there's no doubt that she feels the same way Jim does, but in others she seems indifferent. I'm clearly divided on how JAM will play out, but I do know one thing: it all comes down to Pam. As we inch closer and closer to the season premiere, I've been thinking about this so much that I've developed a JAM split personality. On one side I am a JAM optimist and the other a JAM pessimist. If it was up to Jim neither of these personalities would exist, but because Pam is the decision maker in this scenario, I've gathered a list of arguments for each of my JAM personalities. Some of the same situations are used to justify certain arguments for both sides, only they are interpreted with a different point of view.

WARNING: This post is HUGE. I went a little crazy and practically wrote a novel. Sorry . . . I can't help it.

The JAM Optimist:
This personality fully believes that Pam will decide to go with Jim at some point. There are many more reasons for this belief, but these are the main points:
1. Pam is clearly comfortable with Jim. She talks to him about everything in her life. She is comfortable enough to talk about Roy, her mom, and her dreams, etc. These are deeply personal issues. The fact that she feels free enough to talk to him about these things speaks volumes about how much she trusts him. In Boys and Girls he is the first person she tells about the internship, she know he will be happy for her. Jim is the person she talks to the most! Her comfort level goes beyond conversation. One shining moment is in Diversity Day when she lays her head on Jim. Even though she is going to sleep, she knows who is next to her, and feels safe enough drift off. Another notable example of this is in The Alliance, Jim has both hands on her and she takes a hold of one of his hands. She is not nervous or standoffish at all in this instance, again this speaks volumes of how close and comfortable she is with him. Lastly, she sits very close to him on several occasions, like on the bench in The Dundies and at Jim's party she is right next to him on the couch. Speaking of Jim's party she's also comfortable enough to hang out in his room and sit on his bed. There are many more examples of this, but these stand out the most to me.

2. Pam has a jealous streak. This has shown up in several episodes. She does not like it when Jim has a date or a relationship with someone else. We first see her jealousy in Hot Girl. When Jim tells her he has a date with Katy, she is noticeably upset as she heads back to her desk. On top of that, it bothers her for a long period time. She even puts on lip gloss! She is still visibly shaken as Roy drives her home. In Take Your Daughter to Work Day we see the same scenario play out when Jim has a date with Brenda. In The Fire she kisses Roy with the explicit reason to make Jim jealous as a reaction to her own jealousy. She doesn't like it when Jim's attention is not on her.

3. Pam flirts with Jim. There are numerous examples of Pam flirting with Jim. In many cases she initiates the flirt fest. I can't possibly list them all, so I've chosen the best examples. In "The Fight" she lets Jim flirt with her and she does it right back to him, only stopping when Meredith notices. She also reads his palm, which is a huge tease! Jinx is another glowing example. She plays with him the whole day! Perhaps the biggest example, is in E-Mail Surveillance, she hangs back in Jim's room and teases him about his yearbook picture. In Booze Cruise, she teases him about dating a cheerleader and even shoots him a flirty smile right before the 27 seconds of silence. In Casino Night she is a huge flirt at the poker table. As well as during the wedding video viewing. How is Jim supposed to resist this?

4. Pam wants Jim to like her. In Valentine's Day Pam waits for Jim to do something. She looks at him constantly due to her disappointment in Roy, but also because he has done things for her in the past. She seemed let down that he did not give her anything. In Halloween, she was very upset that she hurt Jim's feelings and spent the rest of the day trying to get back on his good side. To me this speaks volumes on how much she values his opinion of her. In The Secret, she almost looks like she's suppressing her joy when Jim tells her he had a crush on her. She seemed let down when Jim told her he was over it. In Hot Girl she notices Jim looks at her, when Roy asks him what his type is - she didn't get upset. If anything, she likes it that he looks at her the way Roy probably used to.

5. Pam needs Jim. Jim is the one person that makes Pam feel good, even in the worst of situations. He makes her laugh, listens, and always knows the right thing to say. In The Carpet, she may have hung around Roy all day, but she still missed Jim and needed him around. She couldn't have him around in person, so she settled for his voicemail, which she called multiple times. The amount of time she called shows how much of a fixture he is in her life. With Jinx she ends up ending the game because she can't stand not talking to him, even after his "look" freaked her out. She can't be without him! Jim also provides Pam with self confidence, something she does not get with Roy. We see most fervently in Boys and Girls. She is not afraid to stand up for herself around him, where we see her back down to Roy on more than one occasion. Most of all, we see that Jim makes her smile on a daily basis. Pam is naturally an individual that likes to laugh and have a good time and Jim gives her an opportunity to be that way.

6. Pam loves Jim. Pam clearly cares about Jim in that she feels bad when she hurts his feelings. When Jim was upset about her suggestion to take the job in Maryland, she was very upset. She spent the rest of the day trying to make up with him. In Christmas Party, she felt bad about not taking the teapot and rescues it from Dwight's clutches. Pam also has given a few longing glances in Jim's direction. The most notable is in Booze Cruise when she responds to Jim's stare. She smiles and stares right back at him. She was waiting for him to do or say something. In E-Mail Surveillance she gives him another amazing look when he's singing karaoke. This is the first time I thought she loved him back. In Basketball, she is clearly worried about him, when Roy hits him in the face, (plus she checks him out!) Jim is clearly a fixture in her life and she needs him. In The Carpet she left him a bunch of voicemails during his absence at his desk. She missed him. Casino Night, however, demonstrates this argument the best. When Jim finally confesses how he feels, she is hesitant to respond. When she finally does, she says "I can't" not "no." It's almost as if she says that only because she thinks that how she should respond, not how she wants to respond. Its a compromise between what she wants and she thinks she must do. She calls her mom which indicates that she has talked about this with her mother before (we know this from Sexual Harassment as well). It's in this phone call that we get the impression that she does indeed love Jim. When Jim kisses her, she does not push him away, instead she kisses him back and throws her arms around him.

The JAM Pessimist:
This personality believes Pam will stay with Roy.
1. Pam is committed to Roy. We know that Pam has been with Roy since high school. I think we can safely assume they've been together for around 10 years. That is a very long time! They live together and have gotten very comfortable in their relationship. Pam is not likely to leave such a longstanding fixture in her life. Her personality does not handle change very well. Pam's moral center will prevent her from leaving a long term commitment. She has promised to marry him and has hung around for 3 year engagement to fulfill that promise. Plus, she has built her life around what she and Roy have together. If she leaves him, she will have to start all over again. That is something Pam is too chicken to do! Pam has never really stood up to Roy outside of The Dundies, she has always backed down to what he wants (Boys and Girls is a prime example). She puts up with a lot from Roy; he is crass, talks down to her, and takes her for granted, yet she still hangs around. She always goes back to Roy. We get the first glimpse of this in The Alliance, when Roy pushes Jim off of Pam. She does not go to see if Jim is OK, instead she goes to Roy.

2. Pam is wrapped up in wedding plans. Pam is ecstatic when Roy sets the wedding date. From here on out, we see her completely wrapped up in her wedding plans. She plans at work, around Jim. She tries in some instances to spare his feelings, but she is still doing invitations, wedding guest lists, save the dates, bands, etc. at work. The wedding is a way for her to avoid the whole Jim situation. The wedding prevents her from havin to deal with it. She even invites Jim to the wedding, calling him her closest friend. A woman in love with another man does not invite him to her wedding.

3. Pam shies away from intimate moments. She has been on the receiving end of Jim's looks for at least two years, most she is unaware of, but there are a few she knows about. The infamous 27 seconds of silence ended with her leaving. She was uncomfortable and ran away from the situation. At the dojo she is also becomes uncomfortable when playing around becomes more serious, (and someone notices) She is aware of how he feels, yet she chooses to escape it when it becomes overwhelming. Jim is a friend, and she doesn't want it to go beyond that. there is no question that she values the friendship immensely, she doesn't want to lose it under any circumstances. Jinx is another example of this, once he gives her the facial indication of how he feels, she becomes extremely uncomfortable. These instances of being uncomfortable display the conflict she is feeling, but it also points to the inevitability that she will stay with Roy. Her commitment to Roy is her moral center. If she really wanted to be with Jim, she would be. But for her that would mean hurting Roy which is something she is not willing to do.

4. Pam rejected Jim. She turned him down not once, but twice during his confession. She said "I can't" as a way to spare his feelings. Saying "no" would hurt him even more and she knows that. She even attempts to divert his attention to the idea of their friendship and how much it means to her. She had a golden opportunity to accept him and she doesn't. When Jim kisses her, she initially accepts but is the first to pull away. Her initial acceptance of the kiss could be due to curiosity or the fact that Jim really didn't give her a lot of room to move away. Whatever, the case she does gently pull away and push him away. It's by no means a violent shove, as she does care about him and doesn't want to hurt him, but she does not fall into his arms.

5. Pam is in denial. We can easily make the argument that Pam does have feelings for Jim, but it can also be said that she is in denial. Her denial is in fact so strong, that she will never get past it. This comes back to her moral center of staying with Roy for commitment sake. All the previous four arguments can be attributed to this denial. Admitting to herself that she has feelings for Jim, is incredibly scary and overwhelming to Pam. She prefers to bottle things up in hopes that the problem will go away. In Casino Night, the "problem" comes right out in the open, but she still denies it by rejecting Jim.

6. Pam loves Roy. Despite the fact that Roy is less than perfect in a number of ways, she still loves him. In many episodes we see a loving relationship between the two people. In Basketball, she playfully tells Roy that he needs to get in the tub. We also see her lovingly kiss and hug him. She also is concerned when Jim pushes Roy down in the game. In The Carpet, we see several examples of how well they get along, Roy pretty much takes Jim's place when he talks to Pam at her desk and eats lunch with her. They also exchange knowing glances when Roy is working on Michael's office. In Booze Cruise she is again very affectionate with Roy (especially after the wedding date is set). when she and Roy slow dance you can see how much she loves him by the way she looks at him. This is a woman in love with Roy.


Any way you slice it, Pam has one heck of a decision ahead of her. Of course, with the show being in real time she has already made it, we just don't know what it is yet! Did you see Jenna's recent blog? She thanked the fans for screaming at the TV when they won the Emmy. She then went on to say that we will be screaming at our TVs again very soon. What a tease!
Anyway, Pam can't have it both ways. Both of my JAM personalities have valid arguments. Either one could be right. Now I leave it to you fine folks to discuss, agree, disagree, etc. I have many more arguments for both sides, but this synopsis is already too huge. Which in turn, tells me I have way too much time on my hands!

[jenns1217]

wow. nice work. i agree. I was actually just watching both the 27 seconds clip, and the kiss, and i must say-in the kiss, Pam didn't really like, I don't know how to put this-she did hesitate to kiss back, and like touch him, lol, and still she seemed very "careful" and "responsible" about it, since she knew if she kissed back-everything would change-which she did and it has. But I feel that they do love each other so much, and Pam knew it was just a matter of time before things escalated, and now we just have to sit back and watch and see how things turned out. Not to mention the phone call to mom, since Pam had evidently told her about Jim, and there was clearly a point in their conversation questioning her feelings for Jim (the "I don't know mom, he's my best friend" and "Yeah, I think I am."> it seemed very optimistic).

But I love your in depth analysis, and I completely agree.

[muffyduffy]

I hope you can recycle this for a thesis, Scrantonbranch. It would be a shame for this to just be kept among the Office nerds.

[sashavanhorn]

nice job scrantonbranch, agree with you, the whole thing.

[toaster oven 101]

Scrantonbranch, I totally agree with you. In fact I started a thread about this very subject on another Office board. I appreciate you getting all of the scenario's in one place so we can read them over and try to figure this out. I am trying to determine what we are supposed to conclude with all we know of Pams character. It is tough to call.

[JimHalpertIsLife]

jeez! thats a lot of stuff to think about!
well, anyway- youre completely right.
I'm a little nervous about the 3rd season seeing as i dont think pam and jim will be together.
Well, i cant say im NERVOUS because i love the office and would still love it if jim DIED, but i wish they were together or at least still had sexual tension.

[office4me]

You would still love The Office even if Jim died? I think I'd have to think twice, unless I was Roy_Anderson.

[sashavanhorn]

I remember when I first started watching the show, I really couldn't tell what Pam's feelings were for Jim. He would seem not to matter to her sometime and then others she couldn't be without him. It's all part of the writers plan. Now I think that Pam does have to be in denial to keep going on with Roy while Jim is obviously the person she needs. She's trapped by fear and insecurity.

I love Pam, I'm really rooting for her this season. I want her to go after her dreams and her man. The writers really succeeded in creating such an endearing yet frustrating charachter.

[RadHalpert]

Pam's trouble lies in the fact that she is bound to Roy and afraid of change. She is in fact afraid to take a chance on anything because she thinks that she is happy with what is in front of her. Even admitting to herself that Jim might be a better man or a better choice for her provides Pam with too many options and as a result too many tough decisions. Because Roy has been her only relationship, we can assume that she just doesn't know what else is out there. Roy can be a good guy from time to time, the only trouble is, he is not the right guy for pam. Whether or not she is brave enough to take that chance and put herself on the line is another issue.

[sharladawn]

All I can say is, WOW! My family thinks I'm crazy because I'm constantly talking about The Office. It's posts like this that prove to them I'm not the only one out there.

I can't wait for Season 3! Gooooo optimistic JAM!

[pennpaper]

I read half of this in the library after I had finished the my history test. I was interrupted halfway through by the bell and had to come home to finish it. Great work scarantonbranch, I no longer think of you only as the master of trivia.

[Roy_Anderson]

I will let you girls have your fun and i wont say that jim will be dead and pam will be married to roy, so, enjoy it while it lasts.

[stapler_in_jello]

Wow, great analysis. We've always known how Jim has felt, but Pam's feelings aren't always the easiest to call. Both sides are compelling. In the end, I think Pam is in love with Jim, but she just doesn't want to admit it as it would force her to let go of the safe relationship she has with Roy.

I'll be rooting for Optimistic JAM September 21.

[TV_Nerd]

Wow! That was so GOOD! Thanks for posting. You made a lot of really good points. I'm so hoping for the "Jam optimistic" to come through this season!

[coffee]

WOW ! That was fantastic. You should really consider a job writting. Thanks so much.

[g8orfanskmf]

You warned me it was long in your email, but I had no idea... : )
Seriously, do you never sleep???

Great thoughts, and all so organized.

I agree with what a lot of people have said, that Pam is in love with Jim, but can't/won't admit it.

I think that Pessimistic Pam may be who we are dealing with for the time being once the season starts, but I have to believe that in the end, Optimistic Pam will win out.

I know Jenna has said that it is good, and I think John did too, and we know that they have been on record as wanting JAM to happen, so I guess we will just have to see.
And that is what is so hard!!!!

[Stapler]

Of course I'm all for happy endings (hey, I'm still waiting for MINE in real life!), but am I alone in wanting the flirting and sexual tension to continue on?

[iampam]

Since I have been watching The Office, I have always identified with Pam, as my screen name shows. So from that point of view, and as a woman looking at the end of a 10-year relationship, I can safely say Pam will think long and hard before ending it with Roy and when/if she does, she will not be ready to jump into Jim's, or anyone else's, arms. However, from a comedy standpoint, I would say that Pam will in fact have ended her relationship with Roy, and because it's in real time, she won't be a huge emotional mess at the start of the show and she may be able to contemplate the idea of moving on with someone else, especially someone she already knows (and loves) so well.

(I hope that all made sense, it's much harder to end 10 years of something in real life, and I've had a few tonight in my effort to numb things just a bit)

[muffyduffy]

So sorry for you, Iampam!
No words to cheer you up, I know sometimes people just need to mourn.

[sashavanhorn]

hang in there iampam! I'm in the middle of ending an almost 5 year relationship -- it sucks really bad for both.