I haven't been active on this board for too terribly long but I have a question (actually several questions, but they can wait) and I was hoping that we might share...

I have been overweight my entire life and I can pinpoint the exact moment when I learned that food=love and attention (it's a bad habit that I cannot seem to unlearn, but that is another topic for another day...). Sorry, with explaination/excuses made, here is my question for the day:

What is the stupidest dieting advice that you have ever received? (It doesn't matter if you ever followed the advice or not.)

My top two are:
1) My doctor: "Just push yourself away from the table."
2) My mother, grandmother, (my mother and grandmother would say this to me as they were putting food on the table in front of me) strangers on the street (and no, I am not kidding): "You would be so much happier if you'd just lose some weight..."

Am I the only one not seeing any real advice here? Has anyone else been lent such "helping hands" advice? Just curious.

I was told I should just chew up my food so that I get all the taste without the calories. And then spit it in a napkin or feed it to the dog.
And when I was in middle school (around 12-13 years old), my "friend" told me that I was not fat; just FLUFFY!!! Can you believe that? FLUFFY!!!

Hey Josie: don't start me ramblin'!!

i feel really strongly about the subject b/c i think the WORST thing people tell overweight/obese people is that they should just "stop eating" or they put them down. i've heard more idiots stomp all over someone's self esteem thinking that it will shock 'em or motivate 'em into losing weight. Nooooooooooo! That only happens w/very few. People who are a great deal overweight tend to have lowered self esteem, so putting them down is SO NOT the way to do it!!!

To me, BAD advice is any stupid diet that doesn't teach a person to develop new ways of doing things, u know????

i've had people tell me to take appetite suppressants, eat certain foods that burn calories (yeah, right!!), just stop eating (starving works, then u die!), and one person told me to get hypnotized into eating. i had every kind of friggin' diet peddled to me. i always knew that it was a mental thing, u know, and that when i was able to psych myself into being really READY for it, i'd be able to do it. I guess something in me wasn't ready until i was done having my kids b/c i couldn't get jazzed to lose weight knowing a baby would balloon me out again. That was just my thing.

i just wish that people who know someone overweight and want to help them would realize that quick fixes and stupid & insulting remarks SO do not work!!!

i think one thing that made me mad is when people would say "just do this," or "just do that," w/o taking any time to even THINK about the fact that this is a real person who is attempting to do something that takes tremendous courage and that gratuitious comments are bogus and don't work!!

I've heard it all. I've broken the noses of several people who gave me bad advice so u can recognize them in a crowd. Only kidding. ha ha (but i wanted to!!!)

Kresine (with 5 lbs. to go -- lost over 90 lbs!!)

P.S. yo, misty, "fluffy?" that person was having too much fun w/their pillow. geez . . spit it in a napkin . . what total ignorance.

First thing I've got to say before I respond to this --------------- Misty Girl, are you there?? I flew into LA to see my parents for a few days so I'm on my mom's computer for a while. Okay, just wanna let you know I'm here, now I'll go post again!

shay. . . . . .

Awesome Q, Josie!

I'm sure everyone is ready to gag hearing about me growing up in Hollyweird, but it's my life, so hey, it's all I've got to tell. One of the reasons I got fat as a kid was because people were going to really MAJOR extremes to get thin. When I say "extremes," I'm basically talking MAJOR eating disorders ------ anorexia and bulimina! I swear, I know SO many people who ended up almost dying or made repeat trips to the hospitals. I was told by a lot of these chicks (and sometimes guys, too), that I should teach myself how to throw up. The thought of doing that SO grossed me out and I happened to tell my mom. She immediately clued me in to all of the gross and horrible stuff that happens to you when you do that, so I just kept eating and kept it down, until my parents really worked with me to help me lose the right way.

I think bulimina was probably more common than anorexia because in a way it's easier to hide. I mean if you're in LA you're going to a lot of social stuff, and there is MAJOR food on sets, and if you never put anything in your mouth, people will see it. So I guess it is easier for some to let people see them eating and then go lose it! YUK!

I had so many clueless people tell me to do speed, use this pill or that, get my body wrapped in Beverly Hills, or just do the milkshake thing for months. I can relate to what Kresine said (except for the having kids part!!!) because it was like I wasn't going to do anything until my head was in the right place. You gotta remember, I was around a LOT of really rich kids who could afford to be stupid and too many of their parents just were too busy attaching themselves to A List people (or being an A-list person) that they didn't notice their kids were totally self-destructing. It still goes on. It makes me cry, really.

Don't want to be a downer. I'm really hoping Misty Girl is around!!!


Keeping it real . . . . . .

shay from CA

Not to turn the tables on the content, but I am doing some serious physical training these days. I think it is atrocious when some of my overweight friends feel the need to become my personal training advisor. The don't get off the sofa, stuff their faces with junk, but don't think twice about telling me when to train, how often to train and the duration. They also make suggestions on what to eat.

About two weeks ago I got another training diatribe from an overweight friend who never exercises, I told her flatly(without raising my voice) that I had everything under control. She promptly told me I had an anger management problem and needed help.

okay, the stupidest thing I was ever told to do to lose weight was to start smoking. no joke. I quite in Jan of 2001 and havent picked up another since. I was already overweight when I quite so it wasn't like they were "keeping me skinny". After I quite and put on a few more pounds, I had overweight people tell me I needed to start smoking again to help me lose weight. I have seen enough obese smokers to know this is ridiculous. I think some people don't want to see others succeed where they have failed, regardless of what it is...

I can relate to this. It really amazed me how, after I lost weight from eating healthfully and working out, that so many out-of-shape and heavy people began lecturing me on everything from my workout routine to what I ate.

I was told I was "too skinny" (which I was NOT!) and that I was "too obsessive." I was not "too obesessive," but you if you are serious about training, you need to be focused and take it seriously. A little "obsession" can be a good thing.

Everyone wants to be an expert; I've seen this so many times. Cham, it sounds like you have had a great deal of success and I'm sure you know quite well what you're doing. I have a feeling you had no difficulty articulating your feelings to this wannabe (jealous) "trainers."

BigShady: I believe someone on this board recommended smoking a while back (but said they smoked menthol and that wasn't harmful -- BS!!) Smoking ranks up there with one of the stupidest things one can do to lose weight. Totally counter productive to good health.

Good for you for quitting; I quit 11+ years ago. I'd be beyond sick now if I hadn't, and my weight loss and toning would mean nothing if I were still puffing away.

When I finally lost my weight, I did it quietly and didn't tell anyone. Same with the smoking. And that worked for me because I wasn't annoyed with any unwanted comments. I know some people truly need daily support. I respect that, obviously, or I wouldn't come on this board to try my best to give it.

Great question, Josie. What are your other ones????


=^..^=

Hey Shay & all you BIG LOSERS OUT THERE !!!
You see, when I was growing up, all my friends were super-skinny. They would trade their tiny clothes back and forth, go shopping in junior stores to buy more, etc. I could never be included in that "skinny social circle". Believe me, I tried!! I never understood why the other girls stayed so thin but seemed to eat as much as me. --The whole metabolism thing never crossed my 12 year old mind. I started borrowing books from the library on eating disorders. Not to avoid them....To teach myself how to be like them!! I was so desperate to fit in. To fit in to the size 0 jeans of my best friend.
Let me tell you. STARVATION DOES NOT WORK!!! I would starve for 3 days and then end up eating a 5000 calorie meal because I felt so deprived.
Eventually as I aged and matured, I learned to eat right and exercise. The weight definitely didn't "fall off". MAN, I WORKED IT OFF!! Just as many of you on this board have done. Let's all give ourselves a pat on the back--we deserve it.
Sometimes when I think back to my childhood, I wish my parents would have kept the junk out of the house or at least TOLD me NOT to have 2nd or 3rd helpings of things. But then I snap out of it and realize that I probably would have done it anyway. And when I was younger I probably would have resented my folks for being "mean" and not letting me eat until I thought I was full.
When I talk to my mom about it now, she still says that I was beautiful then just as she thinks I am now. And I believe her. When did a pant size start defining beauty and popularity anyway, right?
Misty
P.S. Kresine...90lbs...YOU GO GIRL!!! You're awesome!!

DC---I was told I was too obsessive and getting too skinny too. YEAH, RIGHT!! The peson who said those things USED to be one of my closest friends.
In light of recent events with that girl, I have realized she was always just plain jealous. Jealous of how I looked with my new, thinner physique. Jealous of how happy I was with my new husband and new friends. Geez, the girl used to even get jealous when I'd come online to post or to e-mail another friend.
But I kicked that nuissance out of my life for good---NOW THE NEXT STEP.......I NEED to quit smoking!!! I know I can do it. It should be easy compared to a lot of other things I have accomplished. I just have to commit. I know I do. Commit, misty, COMMIT!! Man, I need a smoke!! HA, HA just kidding. I know I don't NEED the cigarette. It doesn't do anything but kill me slowly. Anyway, am I trying to convince you guys or myself? I know it's time.
M

BUMP

Just checking in Shay, if you're out there!!

I'm here Misty Girl . . . . .I feel like we're in some canyon shouting each other's names and getting echos back or something!! I feel bad. I would email but I only share an email with my b/f and I SO rarely get to write to anyone so I'd hate you to write me and have it sit there or have one of the guys we work with read it. Life is too crazy sometimes. I'm sorry!!! :-(


shay........................

I know what U mean. But at least we still have "the bored" (ha, ha!!0

Hey, United States of America ----- if we're totally boring you with our weirdness, well, it could be worse! You could be at aparty with some REAL bore who's plastered and got you wedged into a corner!!

And that goes for all of Canada & Australia, too! ha ha!

Yeah, except most of us Canadians would be the drunken ones doing the cornering!! HA, HA!! I'm allowed, EH?
Misty

Thanks for the chuckle, Misty! You're so right; as a Canadian, you have the right to make that joke. I have the right to make New Yorker jokes but I can't think of any right now!

I wanted to respond to Josie's poll. I used to work with a horrid man who had a beautiful wife. After two children, she put on about 30 lbs, but she was tall, and in my opinion, still gorgeous, always immaculately groomed, etc. This former colleague, who may I say had a pot belly from his daily dose of Heinekens, became obsessive about his wife's weight gain. A very shallow man, I believe he was more concerned about what others might think when they were out in public. I shall refrain from describing his public persona: someone may be eating dinner!

I shall make this long story short. He nagged her to lose weight which only resulted in her feeling depressed and unmotivated. Then, he came up with a brilliant idea. He hired some models, about six of them (this is what one does when one has too much money!) and brought them home to shame his wife. The models were told they were coming to "liven" up a cocktail party, and they were as devastated by his wife when they learned what they had been hired for. This story has a wonderful ending! The models stormed out, told his wife she was a true beauty and didn't need the jerk.

She listened! She found her motivation all right! She lost 37 lbs., looked even more gorgeous than before (but not as beautiful as my wife!!), and lost the hushand right along with the weight. She is happily married to someone else today and is a good friend of my wife's and mine.

BEST ADVICE: Do it first for yourself. Do it for your overall health.

WORST ADVICE: Anything that doesn't work for a lifetime or promises miracle results.

Good luck to all.

H.

Great advice, Henry. I totally agree--quick fixes don't work!

Henry,

Sounds like the wife lost 37 pounds of "baby fat" and (probably) over 200 pounds of a quivering pile of insensitive blubber. That said, when I ballooned to a size 6 my (then) husband got worried I would end up very heavy, like my mother. He was always very slender, but I'm happy (really happy) to report that his third wife is nagging him about his very large and unhealthy gut. I've gained some weight and am now losing it, but I met my current hubby when I weighed my most. Life can be really good sometimes.

Glad2BeMe

I was once considering joining the millitary and was about 10 lbs over the limit. The recruiter told me she could help me out with a great diet of jello and Exlax. :^P I did not take her up on it.

Thanks to all who have posted (so far). It is more than just a little scarry to see just how much bad advice (and just plain narrow-minded stupidity) there is in the world.

I took a lot of grief from some people at work when I went to one of the open calls for this show, so it's no secret that I am working on losing weight. I just started on a diet and exercise plan (actually more than just one...I get bored so easily) and a co-worked asked me today if I fallen off of the wagon yet. If my review wasn't coming up next month I would have had a few choice words for him (he is the one who writes my review).

Hey, Josie: You know I would TOTALLY take that comment that pi$$ed you off and use it! Every time you want to fall off the wagon think of that guy asking you that question. Get pi$$ed off enough to show him up, you know???? Don't let it get you down, let it make you so angry. I know you would've like to say some things ---------- I'm not exactly timid ---- ha ha, but use it to get you on the road to babedom!!

keeping it real in a unreal world . . . . . .shay

Hey Misty Girl:

My dad is here waiting and I've GOTTA run. The 5 North freeway can be really SLOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW at this time of day (or any freakin' time actuallY) and I need to allow extra time to get my flight or i'll lose my ticket and miss my baby waiting for me.

I wanna hear good things. I'll check back when I can, but I promise my mom will check my account so she can see if there are any unread posts, okay??? She calls me every day so she'll read them to me!!

You are awesome, g/f!!!

Gotta go................bye everyone...........shay

Bye Shay!!

Bye Shay from me too. Sorry i missed u. U 2 are so funny!

Oh my gosh,
This is the story of my life!
People always say "just eat less". Thanks Einstein.
It also drives me crazy when you do start to lose weight and people act concerned because they think you might be doing it the wrong way or losing too much (when you know you're not). They get all sensitive and think you're not fun anymore. It's so crazy how people act like they want you to do well, but so many of them really don't.
I have to go back to work, but i could go on forever about this.
I deal with this by just not telling people when i'm trying to lose weight and if they suspect it and try to use one of their sabotaging techniques, I quickly change the subject.
:-)
hopeful
http://www.hopefulloser.com

I know JUST what you mean!! I went through the thing with people telling me to lose weight, and then when you do, people tell you you're losing too much, are you eating enough?, what are you eating? are you getting protein? etc. etc.

I have also noticed, in life in general, that when I'm feeling down, people tell me, lecture me, etc. to be POSITIVE. But, if I make so much as a positive remark, people will say things like, "Well, now, don't get your hopes up!"

People seem to always want to tell you something and you can't win!!! I have learned to tune 98% of that out!!

Back to the weight, there will always be envy or jealousy. You know what's right; don't let anyone else's issues get to you!

I really identified with what you wrote!!

=^..^=