Creed thoughts is here! Creed is one of my favorite characters on the show. And he has a real blog right here on NBC.com at http://blog.nbc.com/CreedThoughts/ if anyone hasn't seen it.
After I saw the finale the first thing i did was I rewatched it on my Tivo and zoomed in to look at his blog entry. It went exactly like the real blog on the internet, which was dissapointing. (I've never discovered any easter eggs in the show.) But anyway, now that Creed and Dwight both have blogs, I'm hoping there will be a Michael Scott Blog. Maybe not him, but someone in the cast, for that matter.
If anyone knows of any in-character blogs or other things like that, be sure to post it here.
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Creed Thoughts
August 09, 11:53 AM
Creed Thoughts
I have this computer at home. A friend needed to get rid of it fast and he needed a vacuum, so I traded him. Anyway, I don’t even use it that much. Sometimes if I’m going to a coffee shop to look at women, I’ll bring it with me to look busy, but that’s about all.
The other day, I overheard some dudes at work – the fatso and the fruit – and they were talking about some internet video of water buffaloes fighting lions. I don’t know about you, but that’s the kind of thing I can build a
whole night around. I stopped at the supermarket on the way home and picked up some things to get me in the mood: Buffalo jerky, buffalo wings, Frosted Flakes, some cupcakes, and a bottle of white wine. (Side note: I couldn’t find any lion-related items at the store, so I settled for the Flakes because of the Tiger. It was the best I could do.) When I got home, I was really jazzed for a good old-fashioned jungle fight. I turned on my computer and boom – nothing happened. Just a weird clucking noise and a black screen, so I did what anybody would do. I punched my computer and then I called tech support.
This Indian dude takes my name, my phone number, and my email address. I gave him some fakes. I have enough problems in India without the cops finding out where I live. Then he wants me to tell him the problem with the computer. “The **** thing don’t work!” I say. He says “Okay, Sir, it would be my pleasure to assist you with that today.” I’m thinking, it would be my pleasure to stick your *** on top of the Taj Mahal, but I don’t say it because I’m smart. You catch more flies with really friendly decoy flies, that’s what I always say.
So I let this guy tell me what he thinks is wrong and then he asks for the serial number. I give that to him, too, and then he tells me I don’t have a warranty anymore. I’ve been on the phone for ten minutes already and now he tells me he can’t help me because of some stupid warranty. I’m ready to kill this guy, but I play nice and then the guy tells me he can help, but it’s going to cost me fifty bucks. Fifty bucks? If I’m paying you fifty bucks to fix a computer, (a) you’re going to do it naked and (
you’re going to cook me dinner. Well, you can’t do either if you’re halfway around the globe so I hung up on that idiot.
Long story short, I got rid of the laptop right away. Did what I always do with broken gizmos: Threw it into the dumpster and filed a police report saying somebody stole it. Next time somebody turns in a lost laptop to the fuzz, I’m going to have myself a new computer. It just goes to show you: you can screw with Old Creed all you want, but in the end he’s always going to win.
p.s. If I ever find you, “Franklin,” I’m going to take you out Tamil Tiger style and I never forget a voice, even when you’re talking in a fake American accent.
Creed Thoughts
August 09, 11:53 AM
Creed Thoughts
I have this computer at home. A friend needed to get rid of it fast and he needed a vacuum, so I traded him. Anyway, I don’t even use it that much. Sometimes if I’m going to a coffee shop to look at women, I’ll bring it with me to look busy, but that’s about all.
The other day, I overheard some dudes at work – the fatso and the fruit – and they were talking about some internet video of water buffaloes fighting lions. I don’t know about you, but that’s the kind of thing I can build a
whole night around. I stopped at the supermarket on the way home and picked up some things to get me in the mood: Buffalo jerky, buffalo wings, Frosted Flakes, some cupcakes, and a bottle of white wine. (Side note: I couldn’t find any lion-related items at the store, so I settled for the Flakes because of the Tiger. It was the best I could do.) When I got home, I was really jazzed for a good old-fashioned jungle fight. I turned on my computer and boom – nothing happened. Just a weird clucking noise and a black screen, so I did what anybody would do. I punched my computer and then I called tech support.
This Indian dude takes my name, my phone number, and my email address. I gave him some fakes. I have enough problems in India without the cops finding out where I live. Then he wants me to tell him the problem with the computer. “The **** thing don’t work!” I say. He says “Okay, Sir, it would be my pleasure to assist you with that today.” I’m thinking, it would be my pleasure to stick your *** on top of the Taj Mahal, but I don’t say it because I’m smart. You catch more flies with really friendly decoy flies, that’s what I always say.
So I let this guy tell me what he thinks is wrong and then he asks for the serial number. I give that to him, too, and then he tells me I don’t have a warranty anymore. I’ve been on the phone for ten minutes already and now he tells me he can’t help me because of some stupid warranty. I’m ready to kill this guy, but I play nice and then the guy tells me he can help, but it’s going to cost me fifty bucks. Fifty bucks? If I’m paying you fifty bucks to fix a computer, (a) you’re going to do it naked and (
you’re going to cook me dinner. Well, you can’t do either if you’re halfway around the globe so I hung up on that idiot.Long story short, I got rid of the laptop right away. Did what I always do with broken gizmos: Threw it into the dumpster and filed a police report saying somebody stole it. Next time somebody turns in a lost laptop to the fuzz, I’m going to have myself a new computer. It just goes to show you: you can screw with Old Creed all you want, but in the end he’s always going to win.
p.s. If I ever find you, “Franklin,” I’m going to take you out Tamil Tiger style and I never forget a voice, even when you’re talking in a fake American accent.
August 16, 01:17 PM
Creed Thoughts
I'm a romantic guy. Always have been. Fell in love for the first time in the fourth grade with the Truancy Officer. Ever since then, I’ve had a thing for women with badges. Cops, security officers, DEA -- doesn’t matter to me. They’re all foxy.
Love is tricky. It makes you do crazy things. Back in ’73, I got into a love triangle. Love pyramid, really. Put $6,000 into a cigarette resale venture and just waited for the dough to start pouring in. It never did. Lost my savings for a shot with the DePalma sisters, but it was worth it. I’ve still got some old smokes sitting in a storage shed up in Delaware. It’s my little reminder of the price of love.
If I ever wanted to get married again, I’d go for height over substance. Pretty wives are good for taking to buffets, but tall wives get you noticed. Wealthy’s also a good quality to find in a lady. I’ve got to find me a rich, tall broad. That’ll keep me happy.
There’s one lady who might fit the bill and her name is Louise. She works as a toll collector at the Wilkes-Barre exit on the Pike. Lou's a big woman, really fills out her uniform and I like it. I'm going to show up at her tollbooth next weekend wearing my lucky socks and my sex pants. Then I'm going to read her a poem I've been working on, in the style of my man Willy Carlos Williams. After that, I'll spray paint all the windows in her booth black and show her why they call me "The Guiding Principle." It's going to be smooth. Don’t know if she’s rich, but she definitely has access to a lot of change and that’s good enough for me.
There’re only six things you need if you want to snag a good woman: A guitar, chicken, wine, a car, running water, and some permanent markers. If you don’t have a guitar, a lute will do. You get those six things and you’re Don Juan, trust me.
Creed Thoughts
I'm a romantic guy. Always have been. Fell in love for the first time in the fourth grade with the Truancy Officer. Ever since then, I’ve had a thing for women with badges. Cops, security officers, DEA -- doesn’t matter to me. They’re all foxy.
Love is tricky. It makes you do crazy things. Back in ’73, I got into a love triangle. Love pyramid, really. Put $6,000 into a cigarette resale venture and just waited for the dough to start pouring in. It never did. Lost my savings for a shot with the DePalma sisters, but it was worth it. I’ve still got some old smokes sitting in a storage shed up in Delaware. It’s my little reminder of the price of love.
If I ever wanted to get married again, I’d go for height over substance. Pretty wives are good for taking to buffets, but tall wives get you noticed. Wealthy’s also a good quality to find in a lady. I’ve got to find me a rich, tall broad. That’ll keep me happy.
There’s one lady who might fit the bill and her name is Louise. She works as a toll collector at the Wilkes-Barre exit on the Pike. Lou's a big woman, really fills out her uniform and I like it. I'm going to show up at her tollbooth next weekend wearing my lucky socks and my sex pants. Then I'm going to read her a poem I've been working on, in the style of my man Willy Carlos Williams. After that, I'll spray paint all the windows in her booth black and show her why they call me "The Guiding Principle." It's going to be smooth. Don’t know if she’s rich, but she definitely has access to a lot of change and that’s good enough for me.
There’re only six things you need if you want to snag a good woman: A guitar, chicken, wine, a car, running water, and some permanent markers. If you don’t have a guitar, a lute will do. You get those six things and you’re Don Juan, trust me.
Latest Creed Thoughts 8/23/07 here.
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New Creed Thoughts! I love the holiday where ghosts make candy. 
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