Due to their being no new episodes for the time being (or possibly ever for that matter) I've taken it upon myself to embark on a journey which includes me writing a story of epic proportions... or perhaps smaller proportions, whichever I feel like.
Despite what you might say my rendition of what season 2 should be like is completely realistic and is in no way farfetched. Comments and whatnot are appreciated. If you think it's good, let me know. If you think it's bad I don't care and will probably continue writing this when I'm bored, but say so anyway.
This story gets whatever rating the TV show did because it has similar language and violence and all that awesome stuff that gets soccer moms to have fits.
________
Episode 1: How Do They Afford These Cool Things?
Mama Donnelly dying in his blood covered arms, Tommy stared out the window with a glare of contempt for Dokey and all of the men who'd backed him in his shenanigans. And now, as Mama Donnelly lay dead, Tommy knew that it was time to settle the score once and for all.
"Turn the van around, Sean, " he screamed amidst the commotion.
"What?" he yelled back. "I can't hear you over Joanie's incessant howling, " said Sean because he couldn't hear Tommy over Joanie's incessant howling.
"I said, " he yelled again, "Turn the van ar-"
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, " screamed Joanie once more who was silenced a second later by Jimmy's, "Can it, ho!" as he gave her a swift slap across the buttox.
"Finally, " muttered Tommy. "Now turn the van around, it's time to get back at that ******* for what he's done.
"You mean for when he beat me in Stratego the other day?" asked Kevin, scratching his head. Upon seeing his brothers' expressions and his mom lying dead on the floor, he came to a realization and said, "Oh." With that, Sean slammed the breaks and spun the wheel, causing the van to spin in a 180 degree fashion as several pedestrians dove out of the way for their lives. Sean stepped on the gas pedal and they were off.
Dokey nearly pooped his new Snoopy boxers as he saw the white van speeding back down the road towards him and his men. His right hand man, who was in the middle of a victory high five, immediately called the rest to attention. Their guns came from concealment, once more raining bullets upon the brothers.
"Now!" Tommy commanded. At his brother's word Kevin produced the rocket launcher given to them earlier that day and leaned out the window, firing it straight towards Dokey's crew.
"FIDDLESTICKS, " was the last word one of the Irishmen pronounced as the rocket hit him square in the chest and exploded, filling the area with a thick gray smoke. The van halted to a screech and out through the windshield leapt Joey Icecream, cocking his shotgun, Kevin, readying his rocket launcher for another sick explosion, and Sean, with a bat. Nobody knew why Sean chose a bat when the rest chose such cooler weapons, but there wasn't ample opportunity to ask. The three were the first into the smoke, smacking, blasting, and rocketing the men who'd wronged them.
"You coming Jimmy?" asked Tommy, unsheathing his broadsword as he stepped from the van.
"Yeah, just a... wait a second, where the **** did you get a sword?"
"You mean I didn't have it the whole time?"
The two brothers contemplated this dilemma for a second, stared stupidly at the sword for another second, and by the third second Tommy was off, disappearing into the smoke ready to cut down whoever he ran into first.
"Joanie, " Jimmy spoke softly as he readied to exit. "If something happens to me and my brothers, I want you to use this." He reached under the seat and pulled out a gun which had been ductaped to the bottom.
"You m... m... mean.... I should sh... sh... shoot myself?" She broke down sobbing, repeating Jimmy's name and trying to make a grab for him.
"No, you stupid cow, " he retorted. "If we die you use this to shoot some *******. Christ!" Without another word he was off, cocking the crossbow which he had apparently found at the same time that Tommy found his sword.
"For Frodo!" Joey Ice Cream's battle cry rang out. It was in fact Mama Donnelly who they were fighting for rather than Frodo, and the four brothers and Joey would laugh about it while having a delicious steak dinner the next night. It was not yet time for steak though, Joey knew. Dodging several bullets with a sideward dive he rammed the butt of his gun into the nearest Irishman, then spun and sidekicked the next in the chest. Sean appeared next to him wildly swinging his bat, hoping to score a hit and not get his *** kicked for once. They heard a rocket explode several feet away and chuckled knowing that Dokey's men were getting what was due. Their chuckling frightened them and they came to an immediate stop, contemplating for a moment that they might be going insane but then shrugged it off, beating more union members out of the way.
Tommy was the fourth to enter the fray and found an immediate target who was slashing at him with a knife. He brought the sword up in a graceful arc which parted hand from wrist and head from shoulders. "Sweet, " he said. "I should've used this when I beat up those gangstas that time." Then again, he thought, the bat was probably more satisfying when silencing those trashtalking gangsta drug dealers. He turned in time to block the downward swing of a pipe and the assailant fell with a crossbow bolt sticking from his back.
"Tommy! Find Dokey!" yelled Jimmy as yet another man came up behind him. A swift backfist followed by a sidekick and spinning backick felled the man instantly. The smoke was clearing and the number of Dokey's boys lying unconscious was growing by the second.
"Alright!" cheered Joey. "Nothing can stop our brotherly love!"
"What are you, a fairy?" asked Sean. "You're not even our brother!" Joey looked down in sadness and even one of Dokey's men stopped to tell Sean that he was being harsh. Sean hit the man with his bat and then hugged Joey in forgiveness, promising Joey one "Beat Sean in Scrabble and brag about it" pass.
"There is one thing!" roared Dokey amidst the fighting. They all stopped to watch as Dokey's right hand man lifted Dokey over his shoulder. He wondered whether Dokey would ever let him have a name, but every time he asked Dokey silenced him with a slap similar to the one Jimmy had previously given to Joanie. "And you'll never see it coming, you **** Donnellys! It could be tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day!" And with that he cackled, his ***** running off and getting into a car before speeding away into the moonlight.
And once again, there was **** waiting to go down.
LOL I just had to make an account to tell you that that was awsome
continue the story!
continue the story!
lmao this is better than the show. lol.
QUOTE (mailboxCOW @ May 31 2007, 09:23 PM) 
"You mean for when he beat me in Stratego the other day?" asked Kevin, scratching his head. Upon seeing his brothers' expressions and his mom lying dead on the floor, he came to a realization and said, "Oh."
That made me rofl because thats something that would rly happen lol
you gonna do more?????
As long as people don't boycott it and I'm bored and feel like writing more, sure.
And 0 out of 2 people have boycotted it so that's some good odds.
And 0 out of 2 people have boycotted it so that's some good odds.
QUOTE (mailboxCOW @ Jun 3 2007, 06:43 PM)
As long as people don't boycott it and I'm bored and feel like writing more, sure.
And 0 out of 2 people have boycotted it so that's some good odds.
And 0 out of 2 people have boycotted it so that's some good odds.
lol
this was so funny! I could actually picture it going down! lol thanks for giving me my Donnelly's fix! Can't wait until June 13! thank goodness for you and HDnet
QUOTE (mailboxCOW @ May 31 2007, 09:23 PM)
Due to their being no new episodes for the time being (or possibly ever for that matter) I've taken it upon myself to embark on a journey which includes me writing a story of epic proportions... or perhaps smaller proportions, whichever I feel like.
Despite what you might say my rendition of what season 2 should be like is completely realistic and is in no way farfetched. Comments and whatnot are appreciated. If you think it's good, let me know. If you think it's bad I don't care and will probably continue writing this when I'm bored, but say so anyway.
This story gets whatever rating the TV show did because it has similar language and violence and all that awesome stuff that gets soccer moms to have fits.
________
Episode 1: How Do They Afford These Cool Things?
Mama Donnelly dying in his blood covered arms, Tommy stared out the window with a glare of contempt for Dokey and all of the men who'd backed him in his shenanigans. And now, as Mama Donnelly lay dead, Tommy knew that it was time to settle the score once and for all.
"Turn the van around, Sean, " he screamed amidst the commotion.
"What?" he yelled back. "I can't hear you over Joanie's incessant howling, " said Sean because he couldn't hear Tommy over Joanie's incessant howling.
"I said, " he yelled again, "Turn the van ar-"
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, " screamed Joanie once more who was silenced a second later by Jimmy's, "Can it, ho!" as he gave her a swift slap across the buttox.
"Finally, " muttered Tommy. "Now turn the van around, it's time to get back at that ******* for what he's done.
"You mean for when he beat me in Stratego the other day?" asked Kevin, scratching his head. Upon seeing his brothers' expressions and his mom lying dead on the floor, he came to a realization and said, "Oh." With that, Sean slammed the breaks and spun the wheel, causing the van to spin in a 180 degree fashion as several pedestrians dove out of the way for their lives. Sean stepped on the gas pedal and they were off.
Dokey nearly pooped his new Snoopy boxers as he saw the white van speeding back down the road towards him and his men. His right hand man, who was in the middle of a victory high five, immediately called the rest to attention. Their guns came from concealment, once more raining bullets upon the brothers.
"Now!" Tommy commanded. At his brother's word Kevin produced the rocket launcher given to them earlier that day and leaned out the window, firing it straight towards Dokey's crew.
"FIDDLESTICKS, " was the last word one of the Irishmen pronounced as the rocket hit him square in the chest and exploded, filling the area with a thick gray smoke. The van halted to a screech and out through the windshield leapt Joey Icecream, cocking his shotgun, Kevin, readying his rocket launcher for another sick explosion, and Sean, with a bat. Nobody knew why Sean chose a bat when the rest chose such cooler weapons, but there wasn't ample opportunity to ask. The three were the first into the smoke, smacking, blasting, and rocketing the men who'd wronged them.
"You coming Jimmy?" asked Tommy, unsheathing his broadsword as he stepped from the van.
"Yeah, just a... wait a second, where the **** did you get a sword?"
"You mean I didn't have it the whole time?"
The two brothers contemplated this dilemma for a second, stared stupidly at the sword for another second, and by the third second Tommy was off, disappearing into the smoke ready to cut down whoever he ran into first.
"Joanie, " Jimmy spoke softly as he readied to exit. "If something happens to me and my brothers, I want you to use this." He reached under the seat and pulled out a gun which had been ductaped to the bottom.
"You m... m... mean.... I should sh... sh... shoot myself?" She broke down sobbing, repeating Jimmy's name and trying to make a grab for him.
"No, you stupid cow, " he retorted. "If we die you use this to shoot some *******. Christ!" Without another word he was off, cocking the crossbow which he had apparently found at the same time that Tommy found his sword.
"For Frodo!" Joey Ice Cream's battle cry rang out. It was in fact Mama Donnelly who they were fighting for rather than Frodo, and the four brothers and Joey would laugh about it while having a delicious steak dinner the next night. It was not yet time for steak though, Joey knew. Dodging several bullets with a sideward dive he rammed the butt of his gun into the nearest Irishman, then spun and sidekicked the next in the chest. Sean appeared next to him wildly swinging his bat, hoping to score a hit and not get his *** kicked for once. They heard a rocket explode several feet away and chuckled knowing that Dokey's men were getting what was due. Their chuckling frightened them and they came to an immediate stop, contemplating for a moment that they might be going insane but then shrugged it off, beating more union members out of the way.
Tommy was the fourth to enter the fray and found an immediate target who was slashing at him with a knife. He brought the sword up in a graceful arc which parted hand from wrist and head from shoulders. "Sweet, " he said. "I should've used this when I beat up those gangstas that time." Then again, he thought, the bat was probably more satisfying when silencing those trashtalking gangsta drug dealers. He turned in time to block the downward swing of a pipe and the assailant fell with a crossbow bolt sticking from his back.
"Tommy! Find Dokey!" yelled Jimmy as yet another man came up behind him. A swift backfist followed by a sidekick and spinning backick felled the man instantly. The smoke was clearing and the number of Dokey's boys lying unconscious was growing by the second.
"Alright!" cheered Joey. "Nothing can stop our brotherly love!"
"What are you, a fairy?" asked Sean. "You're not even our brother!" Joey looked down in sadness and even one of Dokey's men stopped to tell Sean that he was being harsh. Sean hit the man with his bat and then hugged Joey in forgiveness, promising Joey one "Beat Sean in Scrabble and brag about it" pass.
"There is one thing!" roared Dokey amidst the fighting. They all stopped to watch as Dokey's right hand man lifted Dokey over his shoulder. He wondered whether Dokey would ever let him have a name, but every time he asked Dokey silenced him with a slap similar to the one Jimmy had previously given to Joanie. "And you'll never see it coming, you **** Donnellys! It could be tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day!" And with that he cackled, his ***** running off and getting into a car before speeding away into the moonlight.
And once again, there was **** waiting to go down.
Despite what you might say my rendition of what season 2 should be like is completely realistic and is in no way farfetched. Comments and whatnot are appreciated. If you think it's good, let me know. If you think it's bad I don't care and will probably continue writing this when I'm bored, but say so anyway.
This story gets whatever rating the TV show did because it has similar language and violence and all that awesome stuff that gets soccer moms to have fits.
________
Episode 1: How Do They Afford These Cool Things?
Mama Donnelly dying in his blood covered arms, Tommy stared out the window with a glare of contempt for Dokey and all of the men who'd backed him in his shenanigans. And now, as Mama Donnelly lay dead, Tommy knew that it was time to settle the score once and for all.
"Turn the van around, Sean, " he screamed amidst the commotion.
"What?" he yelled back. "I can't hear you over Joanie's incessant howling, " said Sean because he couldn't hear Tommy over Joanie's incessant howling.
"I said, " he yelled again, "Turn the van ar-"
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, " screamed Joanie once more who was silenced a second later by Jimmy's, "Can it, ho!" as he gave her a swift slap across the buttox.
"Finally, " muttered Tommy. "Now turn the van around, it's time to get back at that ******* for what he's done.
"You mean for when he beat me in Stratego the other day?" asked Kevin, scratching his head. Upon seeing his brothers' expressions and his mom lying dead on the floor, he came to a realization and said, "Oh." With that, Sean slammed the breaks and spun the wheel, causing the van to spin in a 180 degree fashion as several pedestrians dove out of the way for their lives. Sean stepped on the gas pedal and they were off.
Dokey nearly pooped his new Snoopy boxers as he saw the white van speeding back down the road towards him and his men. His right hand man, who was in the middle of a victory high five, immediately called the rest to attention. Their guns came from concealment, once more raining bullets upon the brothers.
"Now!" Tommy commanded. At his brother's word Kevin produced the rocket launcher given to them earlier that day and leaned out the window, firing it straight towards Dokey's crew.
"FIDDLESTICKS, " was the last word one of the Irishmen pronounced as the rocket hit him square in the chest and exploded, filling the area with a thick gray smoke. The van halted to a screech and out through the windshield leapt Joey Icecream, cocking his shotgun, Kevin, readying his rocket launcher for another sick explosion, and Sean, with a bat. Nobody knew why Sean chose a bat when the rest chose such cooler weapons, but there wasn't ample opportunity to ask. The three were the first into the smoke, smacking, blasting, and rocketing the men who'd wronged them.
"You coming Jimmy?" asked Tommy, unsheathing his broadsword as he stepped from the van.
"Yeah, just a... wait a second, where the **** did you get a sword?"
"You mean I didn't have it the whole time?"
The two brothers contemplated this dilemma for a second, stared stupidly at the sword for another second, and by the third second Tommy was off, disappearing into the smoke ready to cut down whoever he ran into first.
"Joanie, " Jimmy spoke softly as he readied to exit. "If something happens to me and my brothers, I want you to use this." He reached under the seat and pulled out a gun which had been ductaped to the bottom.
"You m... m... mean.... I should sh... sh... shoot myself?" She broke down sobbing, repeating Jimmy's name and trying to make a grab for him.
"No, you stupid cow, " he retorted. "If we die you use this to shoot some *******. Christ!" Without another word he was off, cocking the crossbow which he had apparently found at the same time that Tommy found his sword.
"For Frodo!" Joey Ice Cream's battle cry rang out. It was in fact Mama Donnelly who they were fighting for rather than Frodo, and the four brothers and Joey would laugh about it while having a delicious steak dinner the next night. It was not yet time for steak though, Joey knew. Dodging several bullets with a sideward dive he rammed the butt of his gun into the nearest Irishman, then spun and sidekicked the next in the chest. Sean appeared next to him wildly swinging his bat, hoping to score a hit and not get his *** kicked for once. They heard a rocket explode several feet away and chuckled knowing that Dokey's men were getting what was due. Their chuckling frightened them and they came to an immediate stop, contemplating for a moment that they might be going insane but then shrugged it off, beating more union members out of the way.
Tommy was the fourth to enter the fray and found an immediate target who was slashing at him with a knife. He brought the sword up in a graceful arc which parted hand from wrist and head from shoulders. "Sweet, " he said. "I should've used this when I beat up those gangstas that time." Then again, he thought, the bat was probably more satisfying when silencing those trashtalking gangsta drug dealers. He turned in time to block the downward swing of a pipe and the assailant fell with a crossbow bolt sticking from his back.
"Tommy! Find Dokey!" yelled Jimmy as yet another man came up behind him. A swift backfist followed by a sidekick and spinning backick felled the man instantly. The smoke was clearing and the number of Dokey's boys lying unconscious was growing by the second.
"Alright!" cheered Joey. "Nothing can stop our brotherly love!"
"What are you, a fairy?" asked Sean. "You're not even our brother!" Joey looked down in sadness and even one of Dokey's men stopped to tell Sean that he was being harsh. Sean hit the man with his bat and then hugged Joey in forgiveness, promising Joey one "Beat Sean in Scrabble and brag about it" pass.
"There is one thing!" roared Dokey amidst the fighting. They all stopped to watch as Dokey's right hand man lifted Dokey over his shoulder. He wondered whether Dokey would ever let him have a name, but every time he asked Dokey silenced him with a slap similar to the one Jimmy had previously given to Joanie. "And you'll never see it coming, you **** Donnellys! It could be tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day!" And with that he cackled, his ***** running off and getting into a car before speeding away into the moonlight.
And once again, there was **** waiting to go down.
i like your story but somewhere in there , when dokey and tommy are fighting each other, dokey needs to say " tommy i am your father!"
Dokey and Tommy will have a showdown soon, be sure of that. That's why it's Season Two: Dokey Strikes Back 
yo dude are you gonna make another chapter it's been like 3 months
About 1300 views and only like 3 or 4 people commented? If more of you would say what you thought about this that would be cool.
I'll just assume that all 1300 of you enjoyed it so much that you were filled with too much happiness and awe to even hit the reply button. >_>
Also, I'll be naming the chapters after random quotes in tradition of all of the Black Donnellys episodes. Enjoy, and comments/criticism are all good.
_______
Episode 2: Chicken Salad
*fade to black*
I may not know much, but I know the difference between chicken **** and chicken salad.
-- Lyndon B Johnson
The street was completely empty until the van turned the corner and stopped next to an empty shop. A man emerged from the driver's seat and made his way to the door, looking both ways to ensure he was alone before he turned the key to open the door. There was a click and he pushed, hoping the door's bell wouldn't make too much of a ruckus.
Eddie Maxwell casually flicked the switch on a small lamp to illuminate a small portion of the room. It would be better if no passerbys knew there was somebody inside. His new print shop was in a dangerous part of town and prone to break-ins and extortion.
Extortion. Those damned Donnellys.
Ever since the day Tommy Donnelly had come in and kicked Eddie's ***, his life had gone way down hill. The beating Tommy gave him was so bad that he contracted a case of erectile disfunction. One thing led to another and his wife, Mary-Anne, had left him. He had also begun to lose some of his hair and now had the look of a food and sleep deprived mad scientist. Though he didn't want to believe it, he was beginning to fall into that category.
Eddie knew that his day of revenge would soon be at hand. Little did anybody know, his new print shop was no simple print shop. Maxwell Printing was simply a cleverly disguised staging area for Maxwell's real intentions. Unlike a bar or a deli, a print shop would be the last place that anyone would suspect some kind of going-ons.
"HEY, nice print shop, ******!" called a rather zealous gangster from outside of the window. Maxwell ignored him. If only the gangster knew.
Eddie walked to the back of shop where on the wall sat a numbered panel which Mary-Anne thought was used to set the shop's alarm. He smiled as he punched in the 207 digit code and stepped back. Out of the panel came a looking glass which scanned Eddie's retina. A beeping sound confirmed that it was indeed Eddie, and a piece of the wall slid upward, revealing a passageway.
Maxwell stepped into his secret laboratory. It was rather generically adorned with bright, white walls lines with several tools, test tubes, and other scientific periphanilia. Maxwell cackled; he always cackled upon entering his laboratory and then later wondered why he carried the impulses to do so. It didn't matter much, though. It's not like anyone heard him. Or so he thought.
"What's with the God **** cackling every time you enter this place?" boomed a voice behind him.
"****!" yelled Maxwell as he turned to find the source of the voice. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the figure on the giant screen behind him. "Ah, it's only you, Master Dokey."
"What the ****'s with you?"
"Whatever do you mean, sir?"
"Every time you walk into this stupid lab, which I funded, may I remind you, you cackle, turn around, I get your attention, and then you go flailing about like a stupid moron before you realize it's me."
"Oh yeah, that's true, " Maxwell retrospectively contemplated.
"Well, it's not like it matters. Now, to the point. Recently I had a little throw-down with those Donnelly schmucks and needless to say, the four of them and their friend took down like thirty of my guys. I don't know how the **** that happenes, but they seem to have a knack for taking out people with guns when all they have are bats. What the ****'s up with that, anyway?"
"Dunno, " replied Maxwell. "How'd it happen, anyway?"
"Meh, I shot their mom. Who knew that they'd have such a ******* hissy-fit about it?"
"Yeah, seriously, " agreed Maxwell.
"Anyway, " said Dokey, reclining in his sofa. Maxwell really wished he could put a sofa in his lab. "The reason I funded this lab of yours was so you could give me some service when I needed it. Don't tell me you don't have anything to offer me in this situation. That would be bad." From behind the sofa Dokey pulled out an axe and placed it across his lap. "Very bad."
"I'm sure I'll have something you'll like, Lord Dokey." Dokey liked it when Maxwell threw around formalities. "If you'll look here, I'm sure you'll see something you'll like very much." Maxwell moved to a table with something looking like a body on top. The sheet covering it made it too hard to tell what it was. "Meet my new creation... a new friend I like to call..."
He ripped the sheet from the table to reveal a man belted down to the surface. Half of the man's face, which had been crushed in by a bat, was now replaced by metal plating and a red robotic eye. Dokey thought it would be cool if the eye shot lasers, and he was rather happy to find out that it did. It was good when Dokey thought something was cool and it happened. The man's arm had been removed and replaced with a large metallic one which was equipped with what looked like a canon of some sort. Several of his joints were encased in metal plating for extra resistance.
"And what do you call this, Maxwell?"
"I call him... Bio-Samson. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Maxwell erupted in manical laughter in which Dokey soon joined. The two laughed for a good five minutes, trying to outdo eachother in a contest in which each tried to laugh the most maniacally. Dokey won and Maxwell knew he couldn't top the donkey-faced son of a ***** so he gave up.
"So, what the ****'s a... 'Bio-Simpson?'"
"Bio-SAMSON, " Maxwell corrected Dokey. "This man's name was Samson. He too was an enemy of the Donnelly brothers. He took advantage of that girl... what was her name? Jenny Reilly?" At the mention of Jenny, Dokey had to move his knee to cover up a new visitor. "And he was found dead outside of his apartment. Nobody knows who killed him, but the best suspects are probably one of those brothers. Maybe even the broad. He's equipped with the latest in military technology... with his past grudge against those brothers, he's sure to be a great asset in our war against them.
"Excellent, " commented Dokey. "This is truly good news. For that, you have earned one free game of Scrabble with yours truly on a day of my choosing. I shall be letting you know when you may have the honor."
And with that the screen went black. Maxwell knew that the Donnellys would soon have their hands full.
I'll just assume that all 1300 of you enjoyed it so much that you were filled with too much happiness and awe to even hit the reply button. >_>
Also, I'll be naming the chapters after random quotes in tradition of all of the Black Donnellys episodes. Enjoy, and comments/criticism are all good.
_______
Episode 2: Chicken Salad
*fade to black*
I may not know much, but I know the difference between chicken **** and chicken salad.
-- Lyndon B Johnson
The street was completely empty until the van turned the corner and stopped next to an empty shop. A man emerged from the driver's seat and made his way to the door, looking both ways to ensure he was alone before he turned the key to open the door. There was a click and he pushed, hoping the door's bell wouldn't make too much of a ruckus.
Eddie Maxwell casually flicked the switch on a small lamp to illuminate a small portion of the room. It would be better if no passerbys knew there was somebody inside. His new print shop was in a dangerous part of town and prone to break-ins and extortion.
Extortion. Those damned Donnellys.
Ever since the day Tommy Donnelly had come in and kicked Eddie's ***, his life had gone way down hill. The beating Tommy gave him was so bad that he contracted a case of erectile disfunction. One thing led to another and his wife, Mary-Anne, had left him. He had also begun to lose some of his hair and now had the look of a food and sleep deprived mad scientist. Though he didn't want to believe it, he was beginning to fall into that category.
Eddie knew that his day of revenge would soon be at hand. Little did anybody know, his new print shop was no simple print shop. Maxwell Printing was simply a cleverly disguised staging area for Maxwell's real intentions. Unlike a bar or a deli, a print shop would be the last place that anyone would suspect some kind of going-ons.
"HEY, nice print shop, ******!" called a rather zealous gangster from outside of the window. Maxwell ignored him. If only the gangster knew.
Eddie walked to the back of shop where on the wall sat a numbered panel which Mary-Anne thought was used to set the shop's alarm. He smiled as he punched in the 207 digit code and stepped back. Out of the panel came a looking glass which scanned Eddie's retina. A beeping sound confirmed that it was indeed Eddie, and a piece of the wall slid upward, revealing a passageway.
Maxwell stepped into his secret laboratory. It was rather generically adorned with bright, white walls lines with several tools, test tubes, and other scientific periphanilia. Maxwell cackled; he always cackled upon entering his laboratory and then later wondered why he carried the impulses to do so. It didn't matter much, though. It's not like anyone heard him. Or so he thought.
"What's with the God **** cackling every time you enter this place?" boomed a voice behind him.
"****!" yelled Maxwell as he turned to find the source of the voice. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the figure on the giant screen behind him. "Ah, it's only you, Master Dokey."
"What the ****'s with you?"
"Whatever do you mean, sir?"
"Every time you walk into this stupid lab, which I funded, may I remind you, you cackle, turn around, I get your attention, and then you go flailing about like a stupid moron before you realize it's me."
"Oh yeah, that's true, " Maxwell retrospectively contemplated.
"Well, it's not like it matters. Now, to the point. Recently I had a little throw-down with those Donnelly schmucks and needless to say, the four of them and their friend took down like thirty of my guys. I don't know how the **** that happenes, but they seem to have a knack for taking out people with guns when all they have are bats. What the ****'s up with that, anyway?"
"Dunno, " replied Maxwell. "How'd it happen, anyway?"
"Meh, I shot their mom. Who knew that they'd have such a ******* hissy-fit about it?"
"Yeah, seriously, " agreed Maxwell.
"Anyway, " said Dokey, reclining in his sofa. Maxwell really wished he could put a sofa in his lab. "The reason I funded this lab of yours was so you could give me some service when I needed it. Don't tell me you don't have anything to offer me in this situation. That would be bad." From behind the sofa Dokey pulled out an axe and placed it across his lap. "Very bad."
"I'm sure I'll have something you'll like, Lord Dokey." Dokey liked it when Maxwell threw around formalities. "If you'll look here, I'm sure you'll see something you'll like very much." Maxwell moved to a table with something looking like a body on top. The sheet covering it made it too hard to tell what it was. "Meet my new creation... a new friend I like to call..."
He ripped the sheet from the table to reveal a man belted down to the surface. Half of the man's face, which had been crushed in by a bat, was now replaced by metal plating and a red robotic eye. Dokey thought it would be cool if the eye shot lasers, and he was rather happy to find out that it did. It was good when Dokey thought something was cool and it happened. The man's arm had been removed and replaced with a large metallic one which was equipped with what looked like a canon of some sort. Several of his joints were encased in metal plating for extra resistance.
"And what do you call this, Maxwell?"
"I call him... Bio-Samson. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Maxwell erupted in manical laughter in which Dokey soon joined. The two laughed for a good five minutes, trying to outdo eachother in a contest in which each tried to laugh the most maniacally. Dokey won and Maxwell knew he couldn't top the donkey-faced son of a ***** so he gave up.
"So, what the ****'s a... 'Bio-Simpson?'"
"Bio-SAMSON, " Maxwell corrected Dokey. "This man's name was Samson. He too was an enemy of the Donnelly brothers. He took advantage of that girl... what was her name? Jenny Reilly?" At the mention of Jenny, Dokey had to move his knee to cover up a new visitor. "And he was found dead outside of his apartment. Nobody knows who killed him, but the best suspects are probably one of those brothers. Maybe even the broad. He's equipped with the latest in military technology... with his past grudge against those brothers, he's sure to be a great asset in our war against them.
"Excellent, " commented Dokey. "This is truly good news. For that, you have earned one free game of Scrabble with yours truly on a day of my choosing. I shall be letting you know when you may have the honor."
And with that the screen went black. Maxwell knew that the Donnellys would soon have their hands full.
Funny stuff. So the enemies are uniting. Can't wait to see what bio-samson tries to do before he gets destroyed (he will get destroyed, right?)
jesus ******* christ dude write another one already
.....
lol bro, I had such awesome ideas for this and I loved it, but the show's being cancelled and the lack of news kind of lowered my morale. I've been writing for some other random sites and for myself, and that stuff takes priorities over this.
It ****** me off as this would've turned out great with the stuff I had planned. Maybe I'll even continue it some time, but for now I dunno.
I'll see.
It ****** me off as this would've turned out great with the stuff I had planned. Maybe I'll even continue it some time, but for now I dunno.
I'll see.
QUOTE (mailboxCOW @ Sep 10 2007, 06:26 PM)
lol bro, I had such awesome ideas for this and I loved it, but the show's being cancelled and the lack of news kind of lowered my morale. I've been writing for some other random sites and for myself, and that stuff takes priorities over this.
It ****** me off as this would've turned out great with the stuff I had planned. Maybe I'll even continue it some time, but for now I dunno.
I'll see.
It ****** me off as this would've turned out great with the stuff I had planned. Maybe I'll even continue it some time, but for now I dunno.
I'll see.
Please write more - we'd love to hear what you had planned!
I might write more of it, since just telling you what I have planned wouldn't be nearly as good as me writing it..
I'll see. Like I said, other stuff I've been doing's taking priority since the support for the show has been a little lacking and I'm not as motivated, but I'll try and get something up one of these days.
****, if the show ended up coming back, I'd vow to write a chapter a week until the season ended.
I'll see. Like I said, other stuff I've been doing's taking priority since the support for the show has been a little lacking and I'm not as motivated, but I'll try and get something up one of these days.
****, if the show ended up coming back, I'd vow to write a chapter a week until the season ended.
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