^^^^^^

Daaaaaaaaaamn!!!!!!!!!!!!!


"300" last night and now this ^^???? WOW. Niiice, Liz! I don't know if it makes up for it....but it's a running start. Thanks .

I thinking about setting a fire right now so those guys will show up

Personally, I would like a couple of them to be a bit bigger. In several ways.

oh my! you've got me blushing and getting my magnifying(spelling) glass out

Oh, Sharpie, I've been there. I was a nanny for a while when my boyfriend/now husband was out of the country and I was supposed to be dating other people. Do you think I got asked out when I was toting two small children around? Nuh uh. Even worse, I was a nanny in West Virginia, which is much more conservative than my CA home, and I would get such dirty looks from women at the grocery store that I started wearing a ring on my ring finger!

I do the exact same thing when I am babysitting and toting kids around. I hate women looking at me and judging me.

Well I fee like Jim in season 2. I really do. I really like this girl that is pretty much my best friend. I don't know what to do. I talk to her all the time and we always have a good time talking and we can talk about things in our life we usually won't talk to other people about. Though the problem is she doesn't see me as someone she would date. She sees me as her friend. She isn't dating anyone till 2008 for personal reasons. I just feel Jim's pain and not sure what to do.

Dawn Tinsley:


I'm in the same situation. It's just not that there's no one I wouldn't consider...there's just no one single...my age...interesting or interested. It's depressing.

Sharpie:


thank you!



Even though I hate being single, it bothers me even more the number of amazing girls I know who are single. They are some of the smartest, funniest, hottest girls ever, and none of them have guys lined up around the block for them, and there should be. Especially for you, Sharps.



Ah, that's when you make sure you say loudly and clearly "Your mommy will be so happy that you were such a good girl today!"

Hey Rabid, I know where you are coming from. There is a girl who just recently came back into my life that I was very good friends with in high school. We were very good friends but she was always involved with a guy I knew. He wasn't Roy bad but he deffinately wasn't winning any boyfriend of the year awards. She went away to college after high school and I'd gotten over her since then. While she was away she broke up with her boyfriend. I didn't really think much of it when she did because she was 1000 miles away. Well, after her freshman year she transferred back home. So I thought that I would just take a chance and go for it when she got back. I figured if she didn't feel the same it wouldn't be awkward because this isn't high school anymore and we don't have class together. Well, a couple of weeks after she got back to go to school (before I could see her) she got asked out by someone from our high school. To put it simply, the guy is a worthless pile of ****. I'm not in a good mood. And I went to the UNR v. UNLV game today and hung out with her.

She's still gorgeous, smart and funny.

Oh ******' happy days.

^^








AHHAAA! I totally should have said that. Queenie & Sharpie = BFF

What you should do is say very non chalantly, 'hey, i know you arent dating anyone for a while and i respect that. But when that time comes, i would like to see if you and me would work out.I think we would be good together.'

And then, just continue to hang out like normal. Dont pressure her at all.

Back me up here ladies.

I slept in and did not take part of the brits family sunday breakfast. so it's him his parents and child and a couple of his mothers friends and his daugthers friend from next door and her mom. I'm so ticked that his mother thought this was a godo idea for him,he's still recovering. And more ticked that his mother has not said one word to me about it. I heard about the sunday breakfast from him this morning. Is she trying to push me out now??

Roy's right. Put the idea in her head and walk away. No pressure--when you're ready, let me know what you think.



Yes, she is. And the Brit really should have called her out on not inviting you. I know he's sick, but he HAS to make it clear to everyone that you are his life now and that is not going to change.

I kinda thought it wedd, I'm glad I'm not over reacting. I'm sick of being thought of last in his family.

You've spoken about this girl many times. Do you mind me asking why she's not dating until 2008? Is it her age, personal beliefs?


So she's gone on a few dates with this guy . . . is she officially dating him? Because if they're not, "engaged ain't married". I'm a big believer in nice guys, and I'm tired of hearing about them not getting what they want.

I may seriously need to take a break from the brit. His fmaily has pushed my buttons. He hasn't come through lately with things. As much as I love him I don't know how much longer I can take this.

Ya I have because I can't seem to get her off my mind. The worst part is I talk to her all the time because we are best friends. So I mean she knows I like her but I can't just stop. I can't stand this I and well the Karen's and other girls you try to use to get over her don't help at all you just end up hurting them.

^^^I'd go with RA on this one, just let her know there is no pressure and don't act any different after you tell her.


They've been together about 6 weeks now. She came back from UTEP to Reno in mid August. The UNR/UNLV game was only the second time I've seen her since then. They seem to be going pretty steady but it's nowhere near perfect from what I can see. I think she'll realize it soon but she didn't realize it until she left for college with the guy she used to out with. If it's not over in a month I'm gonna let her know about it. I'm optomistic though.

Rabid and BTB

I'm sorry about both of your situations. Life can be a b**** sometimes. If it doesn't end up working out that you each get to go out with the respective women you speak of...just remember, you WILL get over them. It's tough and it sucks and it hurts like he|| but it WILL happen.

It took me 1 1/2 years to get over one of my friends (who is still my friend) and it ate me up. But you know what? I'm now completely over it. And it just recently happened.

FINALLY!

Yeah, like me!!!!


Why don't you ask her why she's going out with him? For a long time I made the mistake of going out with every guy who asked me, because it was a confidence booster and it amde me feel attractive. What does she see in the pile of **** guy???

VB hits the homerun of advice!!!!!

Asking 'Why are you going out with him?' is a great idea!!! Be carefull as not to make it sound like 'pick me over him'. You need to ask it as a friend. Make sure the question implies nothing about you. Ask it in the same manner one of her girlfriends would ask it. If she senses an ulterior motive then it's a bad move. But if you ask as a friend it will cause her to evaluate her relationship with that jerk.

VB mentioning 'confidence booster' and 'feeling attractive' is a key point. Many people simply like being in a relationship. They may not like thier partner that much, but they like being in a relationship. Perhaps this is the case with her.

The most important advice I can add --- Do not smother the girl!!!!!!! If you date her on Monday and she says 'Call me at the end of the week' then call on Friday, not earlier! Calling one hour later the same day or the next day may be 'cute' for one time, but that's the fast track to getting dumped. And No means NO! And it doesn't just apply to the physical stuff. If you ask out for a movie and she says 'No, that day isn't good for me' then just drop the subject. The advice 'don't take no for an answer' is terrible advice when wooing a women. Learn to take 'No' graciously.

So I am looking on facebook and see that the girls I went to HS with lots are married, and one is nine months pregnant.... WHAT THE..!!!!

I mean I can not even imagine that right now. I have no idea why this is bothering me so much but it is.

Oh, and I am freaking out becasue my "jim" just sent me this huge e-mail. It really is true when you are not looking for them they start coming out of the woodwork.

Oh and RF... I know that when I was 18 I decided I was not going to date for 2 years becasue I wanted to focus on my self and just be with me. Maybe she had a rough relationship or something. All I know is that when a guy asked me out I also said sorry I am not dating until I am 20.

I have a hypothetical for you Pam ---

Suppose you're 19 and you watch Fun Run. You see the glowing, giddy happiness that Jim and Pam experienced. Would you have given up the 'not dating' vow if you knew you could have that same feeling right now?

I would.... and I can tell you why in 50 min after I come back from my class!

Actually me and Pam are starting to have very simlar stories.. which is quite scary!

I know why she isn't dating and that is sort of one of the reasons. I mean we have been good friends for multiple years so I understand why she is doing it and would hate myself if I helped her break her promise. I just can't stand when talking to her and thinking wow what a great person with her head on straight understanding what she wants when most girls have no idea what they want and just go crazy.

Maybe the timing for you two will work out.


I was thinking the exact same thing. Women date different guys for many different reasons. Maybe she just wanted a social life, now that she's back in town. You never know.


Well 2008 is only a few months away! And it sounds like you enjoy a very special relationship with her that no other guy has already. As frustrating as it is, enjoy what she can give you right now, you know her well enough to know when to try to push it further.

Yeah Frodo, I can understand that. The funny thing is that most of the girls who do have a head on their sholders and are unlike any other girls are the ones who are " not that into dating".

I love that I took two years off of dating. I have grown so much as a person, I really do love myself, I am more confident, and I have a head on my sholders. Before hand if I was in a relaitonship I would of been clingly or wanted to date just to have that guy tell me I am pretty. Now I know that when I do date I am dating just becasue I like the guy. I am secure with myself and I am not going to push or pull the guy. My two years of not dating has prepared me for now when I do start dating to be a better girlfriend, and I think in the long run both me and my boyfriend will be thankful I did wait. Just like Pam I had to work on myself before I dated any man.

^^

You bring up an interesting point, Pam. I've always believed that it is so important to be happy and fulfilled completely within yourself before a relationship can actually work. I suppose that is my problem...but I am really working on that right now, because I want to be ready.


Also...it's not that I haven't had the chance, I just keep sabotoging myself. Why do I do that? Is it some inner way to punish myself because I think I don't deserve happiness, or what?

those two years where I wanted to date so bad, but I said no.. they killed me. I hated every min of it, but everytime I felt bad I just reminded myself that I was doing this for me! Now that the two years are up, and I really want to be single it is not as hard becasue I know that one I can survive without it, but also that I had fun being single and that being single sometimes can be much better than being with a guy!

I always tell my friend who does the same thing, that there is a reason why you keep doing that. Maybe you know that they are not good enough for you, maybe you think that you need to test them to see if they are worth your time. Maybe your mind knows that you are not ready to date. When that happens I always tell her to stop for a min and take a look, maybe she needs to slow down and see why she keeps on doing what she does.

That's a great point pam. More women need to think about that when they date. Plain fact, are they ready to date. it fine having fun, but if thats all you do are you going to really be ready for a serious relationship when you meet a guy who is? It took me facing a lot of truths about myself before I could really be ready. Once I was, I found out that yeah I didn't have to pretend to hide that part of me cause the guy still loved me. he's still with me today.

Actually the more I talk to my friends about their relationship problems the more I start to think I have the better end of the deal.

I guess a lot fo them date just becasue they "need" to.. But sadly the majority of my friends have big relationship issues.

most of my friends from high school and college were like that. It was like if a guy, any guy asked them out they had to say yes. They went out with some creeps and jerks. They had the worst probelms. And it was like oh poor me I'm single. Why lower your standards I say

yeah! I know that I am a good catch and I am only going to say yes to someone if I actually really want to spend my time with them. I do not need a man to make me feel beautiful, smart, sexy, or important. Men to me are like iceing on the cake. They make me feel just that much more... but I do not need them for anything.

If you feel insecure about yourself, then that is going to over flow into the relationship. You might just think well why does he like me when I do not even like myself.

*Takes pen and adds to daily mantra.

I had to tell myself that everyday! The only approval you need is your own. Once you are secure and confident with yourself no man can take that away, becasue you will not let him!

I once found a notebook in my house. I opened it up and it had this philosphy taken to the extreme. Way to the extreme!

Written in the notebook -

I do not need a man for anything ever
My appearance does not define me and is not to be discussed
I will not accept a compliment from a man, for that is submitting to a man

It belonged to one of the babysitters we have. Had I known it was hers, I never would have opened it.

She must have been really offended when I complimented her on the babysitting

To answer the first question I just want to give it time. During the game she spent virtually the entire time talking to me which is an upside. All of this while her boyfriend was being a drunken idiot. I didn't even bother pointing it out to her, I think it was pretty obvious.

To answer the second question, looks. That's pretty much it. Like most guys he has redeeming moments but she has a horrible record with going out with guys based on looks alone. I'm not saying that I can't hold up in that department. I don't mean to sound braggish but I can hold my own when it comes to looks. I'm not gonna be scouted by male modeling agencies any time soon like this guy could, but I'm doing alright. She's matured since high school and I think she'll be done with his "I'm all that" attitude soon enough.

Whoa. Next time you see her, offer her a ride home and compliment her on her hair.

either she has been really let down or she needs some good skiing.

wow RC I think your babysitter might not need a man for anything ever with a mantra like that.

It's funny, she'd be a very attractive young lady (I think she's about 22) if she fixed her hair just a little and ditched the guerrilla-warfare olive drab pants and old oversized t-shirt.

Maybe I could suggest a makeover? A button down cardigan and nice skirt.

Or the nearest ladies femminst club.

Want to keep a great babysitter?


Then shut it!

!!



OH is right. Plus, she might punch you!

I know I would

For whatever reason, I have been recieving more male attention recently. Is it my newfound confidence? Is it my ravishing good looks ? I don't know what's going on, but I want to know. The other day in the supermarket and now at work! "Do you wear color contacts?" No, why? "Your eyes are so beautiful." He went on and on about it. Not a bad looking guy either. Too bad he smokes.

Oh, wait..."I will never accept a compliment from a man, because that would be submitting to him." BAH!

...compliment away!


Seriously, I don't think I've changed...something is up.

your giving out the vibe...I NEED A MAN VIBE

I think so. I find that confidence is the last bit that makes up ones sex appeal. It's a natural part of us, so it doesn't show when we wear those fake eyelashes or those super tight jeans that make our bodies scream, "Let me out!" . Lame jokes aside, confidence is the deal breaker in relationships. I've witnessed the most attractive people feel so down & bad about themselves & I've seen less than attractive people feel like a million bucks. When you feel good about yourself, you look good too & yes, guys pick up on that so easily, like the perfume we're wearing or the colour of our eyes. So basically, keep feeling good about yourself & the men will flock like bees to honey. It doesn't matter how you look or what you wear, it matters how you feel about yourself & confidence is number one.

Keep it up & soon you'll be saying that instead of the trouble of being single, your issues will be choosing the right guy .

And it is wrong to purposely volunteer at a food fest in hopes of running into a guy that I may have feelings for? He was there last year & I hope he's there again .

Yeah, I've known a lot of guys who thought they can wear me down. They had no idea who they were dealing with.

Here's another bit of advice for guys. Buy 2 tickets to something you're interested in. Tell a girl you want to ask out you have 2 tickets to blah blah blah. Then if a girl turns you down, you don't feel too rejected, because she may not be turning you down, she may be turning down the activity.


Aaaaaaak!!!


That is the best advice ever!! But someday, you might need them for something.


The longer you wait, the more attached she becomes to him. More attached = more codependent = more disfunctional = trapped in a bad relationship. And the more trapped you feel, the harder it is to feel better about yourself and move on. I'm not saying this will happen, this is just the track she may be on.

Also, most women don't date for looks, but some date good looking guys so other women will be jealous of them.


By the way, who drove home?

You mean like...massaging our feet & buying us chocolate & flowers? Heehee only kidding .

I use to think that I didn't need a man to feel complete but now it's different. I feel that I'm not a whole person until I find a guy whom I can love with all my heart unconditionally. Until I truly love someone, I'm not a whole person. And you know how they say that you can't love someone else until you love yourself? Well, I love myself so much in a way that I can take myself out to dinner, kiss myself goodnight & cuddle with myself until I fall asleep .

All I want to do is fall in love & find a guy who will do that with me. I'm tired of flings & excess flirting. I want a grown-up, real, long term relationship. I'm just not ready for marriage.