I hate panty hose, but I love tights. I don't know if I still have any.


Don't forget about fighting over whose family you spend each of the holidays with.

I am single. That is all.

I never said I didn't

We did a poll over the summer--it was 70-30 in favor of the women. Let me see if I can find it.

EDIT: Here it is.

my friend got asked out by her older co-worker. She said no. She likes being single but then gripes about how no man meets her high standards. To me that's pointless. I'm still on the edge of possibly being either single or engaged still

I just got hit with a big reality check the other day, and want to hear what you guys think about this. I'm a very passionate person. To me, the best part of a relationship is the butterflies. I was told by my mother (who is very much in love with my father) that that kind of stuff doesn't last. That the person you're with becomes your best friend, but the romance and excitement doesn't last. I'm 21, and just kind of got knocked on my butt for this one. Can the butterflies really last or am I just watching too many lovey-dovey movies??

The initial excitement of being with someone new does wear off at some point. Sometimes, that's when people move on. But I don't believe that romance and excitement have to be gone all together. It's just that the relationship moves to a deeper level, there's more going on. It's the stuff that keeps you together through the years, and yeah, in a lot of ways it's friendship. But I feel confident that most married people here will say that their spouse is a lot more than just their friend.

Everything that mixed said is right. And when you do feel like you are slipping too far to the "friend" side, you make the effort to reconnect on the romance side and then you are reminded how awesome it is to have what you have.

That makes me feel much, much better Thanks you guys! Glad to hear that you have such great relationships

Great. Now that my guy friend is single, I'm pretty sure he likes/is going to quickly like my friend. Again. This is going to suck. She's liked him foreeeeever, and he liked her at one point. And I'm basically positive its going to play out this way. So its going to succk. Dammit, we need new boys in our school. I've got no one. Eh, I'll keep you guys posted. I'm interested/dreading to see how this plays out.

Am I jealous? Um no.....




yes.

^^ if you like him why dont you say something

Ugh its complicated. I liked the kid for soo long, and then he and his (ex, now) gf started dating and it took me awhile, but I realized I couldnt like a taken guy. I just wouldnt do that. So I've just liked him as a friend for half a year, and it just seems so wrong to like him, like him now that they've broken up (even if these feelings have been accumulating). Plus he and my other friend see eachother way more often which kind of sucks. I dont know. We'll see. All I do know is that I'm ready for a change of scenery.

I understand that completely. I have like a really good friend of mine for a while. Though she knows.

you'll never know if you don't speak up. Whats the worst that could happen he can say I don't have the same feelings. You'd still be friends and for me, it's better to know than not know what might have happened. speaking from experince. Stupid mindy beat me to it and shane asked her out cause I was too shy to say that I yeah I liked him too.

The butterflies are great! They come by themselves when you first fall in love, but they don't have to disappear when you get married. Although sadly they do for some people.

The butterflies last when you think about your relationship and never take anything for granted. I get butterflies when I look at Mrs RC and just think 'How could I have a women like this? I am so blessed'. I think about how she's mine for life and how she's my best friend. I see how sweet she is taking care of our children. I think about a lot of things like this with her.

The butterflies came back in a BIG WAY.

He knew when I liked him before he and his ex girlfriend started to date, but I dont know if he knows now. I dont even know if I like him for sure yet.



Its hard though because they just broke up yesterday. And I've messed up before with him by saying things that were a little too "forward" apparently.

Well, I guess I owe you guys an update on my situation. That girl that I really like is still going out with that jerk but from what I understand it isn't going well. Next time I see her I'm going to confront her about it. I want to make sure she knows I'm unhappy with what she's doing. She keeps picking guys who are completely wrong for her. On some level I'm mad at her because she is wasting so much time and she is a very close friend. I'm not sure what my approach is going to be honestly. We'll see.


Just don't worry yourself over it. If you're not sure about your feelings for him don't dwell on it.

I down right dislike the brit daughter. I've not opened my mouth about a small get away he planned out for us for fear of karma. She's found out and has made herself sick. It's oscar worthy....throwing up, dehydrated, bathroom issues(you know), to the point of a asthma attack. He's cancelled it now til she gets better. I've never cried so hard. I can't do this anymore. I love him but she's making me miserble! I'm going to have a breakdown, cause I don't think we'll be getting married after all, the way it looks.

At least you're honest with yourself. And don't tell him again. If he thought you were forward before, he will still think it if you say something again. Just hang in there, someone great will come along eventually for you.


Aww, that is so sweet!! You give us single women hope that someday a guy will feel that way about us!

Oh, Liz--these damm kids are ruining our lives aren't they? If Nick has any shot of keeping your relationship together THE SECOND she is recovered he needs to take you and leave town, if only for a night at a hotel down the road. He can't keep letting her play him like this. Kids are smart and they know what buttons to push--but he lets them be pushed. Why can't she stay with Grandma for a few days? I know that there is definitely something going around here in NYC, but that is too coincidental that she JUST got sick.

I am so sorry--you should go on the getaway by yourself and take a break from this all. The sad thing is is that you can't push it too much because she will always be his daughter.

In my case, they aren't butterflies: they're bats in the belfry.

Awwww, liz, this must be incredibly frustrating and disappointing for you. But it sounds like she's really sick. I could see her working herself up to throwing up or maybe an asthma attack, but not all that you describe. If she's sick, her dad needs to be with her, as hard as it is on the other people he loves. I remember we had a trip to Tahoe all planned a couple of years ago. The condo was rented, my parents were going to drive down from Oregon, etc. The morning we were supposed to leave, Samantha started throwing up . . . . every 15 minutes . . . . all day. . . . for 3 days. She ended up at the pediatrician, we lost our deposit on the condo, no Grandma and Grandpa, and no playing in the snow. A friend once recommended always getting travel insurance if you have kids, and I think she was right! You can almost count on something coming up the moment you begin to pack. Hope she feels better, and I really hope you and the Brit get a weekend away coming up.

I'm so sorry to hear this Liz.

Have you thought about taking the opposite approach with the Brit? Instead of planning everything, what about spur-of-the-moment romance? Just find any moment you both are free and take off in the car. Go anywhere, just explore around in the car and enjoy each others company.

It just seems like so many of the problems are related to plans. So why not do these with no plans?

I hope you're just joking....you are joking, right? I'm sure it wasn't always like that...tell us about when you met. I bet there's a sweet romantic story there and you're holding out on us!

I wish I could do the surprise thing but we can't. Too much to take care of around here so he can't pick up and leave. I'm just sick of her working herself up like that. She's known since last thursday that we were taking off. She's done this thing exact same thing every time we try to go away. The first time she threw the fit in school, 2 hrs before we were supposed to leave. but when went alone for business she was happy as a lark staying at her friends while he was gone. I'm not a bad person but I really don't have any sympathy left for her since this is her game.

liz, we can't do the surprise thing either. It just would not be a practicality for us. Who's gonna watch the kids? What about work? Etc etc. Sometimes your relationship gets to a point where things like that can't happen. I look forward to when they are old enough (but we are still young enough) to do all of that again! There is something to be said for being young parents.

I wish we were young parents, but with our age difference and by the time we get to have kids and get them out of the house , he'll be 60 before we'll have the ability to pick up and leave.

Alittle more in depth stuff. I said she's starting to act like her mom and he got mad for bringing that up, but he said that she's being a manipulative little brat cause he's also sick of us not having OUR time. To top it all off today she asked to go shopping! Can you believe the nerve on her? He told her no, til she can act like a adult and so some respect to him and me and behave herself she's not going or getting anything unless it's to the grocey store with him. He told her, that it's not about just her and with out telling her all my personal business, that I have issues too and I get depressed very easily and she's making it very hard for me as well as him and that I am indeed upset by her. He wanted a early day and we are spending alittle less time together a mini break you can call it.

Liz, she's not going to use that against you, is she? Because then you may have to kill the both of them. And she is miraculously recovered enough to go shopping? Wow.

^^ See I'm dealing with a twisted 12 yr old who can't bare the thought of daddy giving up some attention to someone other than her. I know this, I went through this with my mom.She's fine as long as he and I don't go off, or talk about marriage anymore cause she suddenly becomes ill. This is her mothers side coming out in her.Can you imagine if he and I were having our own child? jesus thank god we don't have to tell her we want kids of our own. I'm just glad he's gotten on her case about this attitude she's got lately. She's just a spoiled little girl who wants what she wants and cause daddy doesn't say no, it's now become a HUGE ISSUE.

I am sorry liz.

Maybe she should talk to someone about it. I know that helped my friend when her dad was getting married.

^I think he is going to get her into something and if we work out it's a group thing, He's getting stressed out again. These are times like this when it's nice to be single

For a man who's just had (another) heart attack, that's not good. I think it's great to get some outside help.

I know mixed. Stressed enduced heart attack. I hate having to be on this mini break. It's totally selfish and self centered, but I'm giving up my life cause she's suddenly got a no lizzy zone going. She likes me as along as he and I keep our distance. And after 3 yrs together, I'm reduced to having my personal life dicated by a child. I feel single in so many ways lately.

Change 3 years to 10 and you're talking about me. You and I should take a trip somewhere and ditch the kids!

^name the place and lets make a plan.

I get that it's just another thing to either make us or break us, but seriously do I have to plan everything around the whims of a 12 yr old who acts like she's a adult until her dad and I want to make a life together to spend alone time together.Then it's back to childish fits. I truly understand why some single people don't date people with childern. It's not mean until you've been there you don't know.

I'm recently single, and just getting back into the dating game. I thought it would be fun, but oooh how dating sucks! It's pretty hard going from not having to second guess the person you're in a relationship with, to having to wonder "does this guy really like me?" "are we going to go on a second date?" "is he going to call?!". Somebody remind me why being single is fun!!

You have so much ahead of you. The butterflies before marriage (incredible ), the moment when you meet 'the one', etc. There are so many special moments awaiting.

I think that's what awesome about being single, you have all of that to look forward to.

Thanks RC! And I guess when I do find "the one", I won't have to ask myself all of those questions

even though I'm still kinda sick. I'm not going to be seeing the brit really so I may jut go out today and spoil myself.I won't be on a man hunt, but if i were to pass by a few fire stations hoping to see a fireman or two well thats just a bonus.

Thank you for that RC. Seriously. That's awesome.




You know what is fun to do? Get all dolled up and go to a place where there is a large concentration of attractive males. In my case...this would be the local Best Buy . It's wonderful to walk around and have all these hot guys ask to help you. It's even better when you fein ignorance on a subject and you let them "educate" you. I particularly enjoy the music section. I might have to go back there soon .

That is brilliant!

alittle cleavage does wonders too

But do you want a guy only notices how you look?

You girls are scaring me. When I was young, there was a name for girls who did that, and it wasn't nice.

Not saying your old because you aren't but now people the way people dress can be pretty revealing. Well more than pretty revealing like disgusting kind of revealing on a regular day basis.

That doesn't necessarily make it right though...

It doesn't I prefer people to dress so you are able to look at them normally with out wanting to ask if they have something to do later. Gosh I can't stand people who normal dress is extremely revealing. I can go with sweaters.

That is very true, RF. Just watch any high school or middle school at dismissal time and what the girls wear is sometimes pretty awful. For that matter, look how the mother's dress when they come to pick up kids at elementary school. Not all, of course.
You are right that the standards are different than they used to be, and what used to be unacceptable is commonplace.
I am constantly telling my daughter that she has to be modest. Modesty doesn't seem to be all that important anymore. It's hard to buy clothes that aren't revealing, and she's only 13.
Modest doesn't mean frumpy. It just means covering up.
Even adult women need to be reminded. Where I work, the women were told "no shadows." We all laughed, but we knew what it meant.

....necklines have to be high enough to not even see a suggestion of cleavage. It's a problem more with the moms who come to help in the classroom, bending down to tie shoes, etc.

Got it. Thanks.

You are my parenting hero BMaC!

I'm hoping that going K-12 in a school with a strict uniform/makeup/jewelry policy will help my daughter develop a sense of modesty with her clothes. Mrs RC sets a good example too, she doesn't wear anything revealing, it's just not her style.

Some people have suggested to me that my kids might be more apt to rebel in that type of school. I don't agree. Thier school has a varied curriculum including a great drama/art/music program.