That's too bad, I hope they do get to meet each other or something. Why is he so hung up on you? I hope everything works out with your semi bf!

PIP perhaps once they meet they will click. Just best to let them work that out. I hope your semi BF gets around to giving you a call.

I talk to the brit, I'm in a annoyed type of mood. I couldn't sleep last night....4.5 hrs of sleep okay. So I'm on a cranky, very little patience mood. He has the gall to say well if your going to be be this way, I'll just talk to you tomorrow. Excuse me mr. I'm taking off for a week cause I can't handle the stress! I'm being a bitoch at 50% not a full on one and you don't want to deal with me??? I wanted to reach through the phone and choke him out.

PiP I hope they can figure it out on their own, and it sounds like they'd be a good match! I hope he's not too hung up on you that he won't give your friend a chance.
Good luck with your new bf! I hope you have a good time together!

liz, you should get a nap! That's not a lot of sleep. I hope you and the brit are doing good!

I wish I had a guy friend to turn to sometimes who wasn't crazy. They'll gone off weird on me or I ended friendships for one reason or another.

Ack! Ever since we had such an amazing connection at the wedding last week...I can't stop thinking about this guy! (the one I just got over ).

We would be so perfect for each other...he just needs to realize this.

You are too funny. What was so amazing about it?

Ugh, he is still hung up on me. He still wants to meet up for coffee & earlier today, he sent me that "are you/you're a hottie" application facebook that says "Michael (him) thinks you're hot". Not only that but he wants me to call him so we want grab a coffee. Hello, what about my friend? See told me that she plans to send him a message asking him out for coffee. I think I'll just let them handle it & see what happens. She's mentioned him but he's never brought her up. There's only so much a girl can do.

And when I finally told him that my friend thought he was cute he goes "I guess you don't want me 'cause I'm not Greek heehee." I was like, are you kidding me . And yeah, all he did was message her asking if she's Greek & that was after I told him. Oh my...

It's never like this in the movies .

No, life's not like in the movies!

I hope it all works out with them! I would just be afraid of your friend getting hurt by him cause he's still hung up on you. Anyway, I think it's a good idea to let them figure it out on their own.

So, did you see you semi bf yet? How's that going?

Nope, it's never that easy !

You should warn your friend not to put too much of herself into your guy friend, don't want her to get hurt. Other than that, you've put 'em in contact with each other, now you should let 'em handle it and hope for the best! I hope your guy friend gets over you!

I hope your friend isn't thinking that your guy friend is BF material just yet. Depending if they actually hit it off and I hate to be a party pooper but what's his deal about asking her if she was greek even though he knows? I'd hate to see him ask her out just so he could remain close to you. Mycrazy guy friend has given up on the idea of me falling for him but he still refers to the brit as the p*ick.(not sure if that will be censored so I did it first) I got a email from him after new years..you still talking to that P*ick who isn't good enough for you? this is progress as well.

Sharp you are too funny.

We just had a good time, talking the whole time, and we've text back and forth a bit. I think there is definite chemistry there. That hug goodbye was pretty flippin' sweet.

Siiiiiiiigh.


I think I can't ever fully get over him.....IDK.

I won't say why but I've been annoyed with something the brit does. He's asked me to do something for him and hes never completed it. I'm tired of waiting for this thing to be done. Im fed up, he doesn't get why, I'm mad I've not had any me time either. He tells me I'm going out tonight mom is sitting for me. We just had a fight on my cell. Again the one sideness of this relationship is creepy thorugh again. I have no reason to be moody. I don't have the responablities he does. I don't have the schedule he does. He doesn't have me today, cause I'm not talking to him today again.

Happy New Year, all you OFFICErs (seriously, I prefer "Officers" to flans")!

About six weeks ago, I posted on this thread about a certain

dilemma

that I was having regarding two women in my life right now. To recap, one was dubbed "Paren" and the other one dubbed "Kam" (both are mixes of Pam and Karen). Paren was the co-worker crush I had had for years, and Kam was the new interest I met online while Paren was overseas for school. I came into contact with both of them this past month. I figured, since I burdened you with the problem, you are entitled (if you're interested, that is) to the climax and resolution of said dilemma.

I picked up Paren from the airport. We got on great on the ride back to her place. I told her about Kam and she told me about her fling overseas. It felt ... good to be open and honest with her about these sort of things for once. She even thought it would be a good experience for me to date Kam. I immediately called her out on that stance, pointing out that she was talking about it like it was a fling I'd get bored with and once I was done with Kam, I'd be ready for my next "real" relationship. She almost died laughing from that. (btw, for all my fellow shyguys out there, if you can genuinely make a woman laugh WITH you and not AT you, you're halfway there). Anyway, she knew about my date with Kam and even offered advice ... which was so Twilight Zone to me, but I accepted it anyway.

The date with Kam went great. There had been a prior coffeeshop meeting that went for 3 hours and ended with a hug. This time we went to watch I AM LEGEND starring Will Smith and then grabbed a bite to eat (dessert only) later. I felt a strong connection to Kam. Still hugs at this point, which was fine because I move remarkably slow for a guy.

A few days later, Paren was having some serious family issues and I got stuck in the middle of these family squabbles. Paren and I had a disagreement over the phone and she hung up on me. Later that night I get a call from Paren's mom. Not the good kind of call. Paren had overdosed on sleeping pills, attempting suicide (or at the very least a cry for help). So I rushed over and drove her to the hospital. They gave her some fluids that would absorb the sleeping pills and flush them from her system. It was ... a very long night. Trust me, you do not want to be hanging around a hospital's emergency psychiatric ward at 4 AM. Depressing place to be. I didn't see her a week after that, as she had to mend fences with her family.

In the meantime, I needed a break from all that craziness. I phoned up Kam and asked her out for New Year's Eve. She was interested. I mentioned that we had options, from going to the clubs to attending a house party to just chillin' at my house (or her house). She opted for just chillin' at my place. I warned her that she might be bored cuz I had no plans beyond cooking dinner and watching the ball drop at midnight ... which was exactly what she wanted to do. Of course, now I actually had to cook dinner, which was always a dicey proposition to say the least.

A few days before New Years, I met up with Paren to check up on her. She's doing better. We even discussed us as a potential couple for the first time. It was startling and revealing to both of us. We felt close again, but still just friends ... with feelings. One day we went to go see ENCHANTED (her choice). Afterwards, we went somewhere to go talk and then boom! Arguing again, this time over what happened during her hospital stay. She storms off, and I don't give chase, for once.

New Year's Eve came and Kam shows up. Dinner was great and um, can I just say that it was the best New Year's Eve I've ever had and leave it at that?

So that's how the tale pretty much ends. The present has Paren gone back to school overseas but we talked a bit before she goes. She's still mad at me, I'm fed up with her, but we both still want to talk. Why, I'm not exactly sure. I think we're done.

Kam and I are going very very slow (alright, NYE sped things up, but that may have been an aberration). I kinda thought we were in the "dating" (obviously not yet "bf/gf") stage, but Kam says our status is currently "friends with benefits". Rule of thumb: whenever two people disagree about the stage of their relationship, it's pretty wise to go with whichever option is "lower" on the romance scale.

So I guess with Kam I have a friend with benefits now. Not exactly what I was gunning for. And I've never actually had one of those before. It was always platonic friends, or dating/gfs with me. Pretty black and white. This grey area is a place I've never lingered in.

Any advice about what the rules are with the FWB stage?

Wow tim. I'm glad you an paren are just friends. Sounds like she's not well an that would make for a disaster if you dated. She needs to get well before she should even think about dating anyone. FBW, well thats a toughy. You like her an want something and she might not be thinking along those same lines but then again she may have said it trying to judge where you stand with her. Never been there, so I don't know. I would like to hope that you and Kam can work out as a real couple instead of being just FWB.

the brit is making with the nice-nice. I did shout at him, and he took it. He finally said you are such a whinny b1tch(he was laughing at the time). I called him a stubborn old f@rtknocker(something my grandma used to say a lot). He had no idea how to take that and went quiet on me. so there was that odd silence. He finally just said I love you lizzy. I told I know you do, l love you too. I grabbed a shower and hes off doing what ever. Apparently my whinning at him sometimes does good, cause he's sent me a few text messages that are pretty racey. He aint getting any later though

Tim,

I'm happy to hear that things are going so well with Kam I do think that you should try to talk to her about what her thoughts are on the FWB title. Does she just want to take it slow and see where it will lead? Or does she want to keep it strictly FWB? I know you haven't been seeing each other long, but I always think its best to subtly...put it out there, and see where they stand. Just kind of toss around the idea with her and see if she's feeling it or not.

I'm glad to see that you are happy, and stay away from Paren! If Kam only wants a FWB relationship, and thats what you want, then just go with the flow. I just want to say that no one should ever have to settle to be happy. If you want more with her, try it out. Do what you think will make you happy. Never deny yourself happiness for someone else! Goodluck!

FWB works for a little while, but then someone always wants more and things get weird. Be prepared for that. As for Paren, she just had a huge life-altering experience--let her heal herself and just be a friend for now.

Liz--who the he11 are you kidding? We all know he's getting some!

Ummm...one of my agents just asked me out. Helloooooooooooo....conflict of interest anyone?

Plus he is TOTALLY not my type.

Ick...now I'm all uncomfortable.

wedd- He's not! The most he's going to get is a massage for his bad foot. And thats all! Atleast today he said I was good for him and not repeating past mistakes with me. I wish he would rub my stomach the way I rub his foot. It's stupid but rubbing my stomach in a circle makes me fall asleep..I wish he'd do that later

Sharp ewww. I hope you told him that it's a conflict of interest and that as nice of a person he is(that maybe a lie i don't know) your not interested that way.

Oh, don't get me wrong...he's hot. But hot is not my type. I like some meat on my men with a cute face. (not fat...but a really fit guy doesn't really do it for me, I can't understand why.) I'm his superior...so really I couldn't date him w/o talking to HR. He's sweet, but not for me.

You mean you don't want a guy like this:



or that:



Only kidding. Looks aren't always it, especially if the personality sucks. I've been with hot men who are as boring as a bag of rocks & I've been with men who are decent looking but have great personalites. It's two bad I can't find two guys, a hottie & a great guy & like, clone them to make someone sexy who is great too.

*whispers* Arnold has a bigger chest than me . *giggles*

Hopefully he'll leave you alone. I know some men, not all, have trouble taking a hint when it comes to a pretty girl. Let's hope he walks away without you having to make a last resort .

Ew. That does nothing for me. The one on the left isn't too outrageous but the one on the right? There's no way I'd want to cuddle up to him. Ew.

Okay, that ^^ is grotesque, . . . well the guy on the right is. It looks like his teeny tiny head is going to pop of any second.

Eww! Definitely NOT my type, I like slenderer muscled guys (*day dreaming* !). You are so right though, you really cannot judge a book by it's cover. I've met some real nice guys that are kinda nerdy and stuff, but they have good personalities ! But I would like both cute and nice for sure !

I hope he lays off Sharpie!

Ewww! I don't like guys that look like they're in the gym 24/7. It just proves that if yolu date a guy like that, he'll always be at the gym and not with you.

I think JK is that guy PiP! Too bad there we can't clone him!

Those men are so gross looking! YUCK! Sharp, you mean you couldn't date him with out talking to HR...Your the Jan. and he's the michael. The minute you start talking about going to scotsdale I'm going to smack some sense into you.
Why can't men just be toned and not all built? My nick, his arms were alittle too much for me. I told him I can see your veins and I gaged alittle( I know not nice). He's had to work out less due to all his recent injuries, which is nice. It doesn't make sense but I have this fear that I would touch his arm and the vein would burst and his whole arm would fill with blood. I can't even touch my own veins on my arm. I'm really just strange I guess.

Nick has been so sweet today. We spending some time together later. He's already asked for a foot and knee massage. I'm going to have to learn how to be a massage therapist at this rate. He wanted me to describe how I'd give him a foot rub over the phone this morning, so I did and he fell asleep in the middle of it. This is why he calls I'm sure, to be knocked out

It's not like he's constantly ogling me or anything (at least I haven't noticed )



I thought of that. Regardless...there will be no talking to HR. I will not go out with him. I know what I want and I'm not wasting anyone's time, much less my own.

minkiloo is right - you need to ask Kam is this is going anywhere - if she sees any kind of future. Then you need to evaluate yourself as to what you are looking for as well. At least Kam sounds mentally stable. Keep us posted.

As for Paren, I have a few questions: Why did you have to take her to the hospital? Why didn't the mother call an ambulance? And then she had to deal with her family for a week and not talk to you, the one who took her to the hospital? Did she stay in the hospital for that week? Didn't they admit her?

Yes you need to be her friend (thank goodness you aren't dating her at this stage), but her family can't just use you like a dishrag. They need to take some responsibility. And although it sounds like you are close to them (especially the mom), you may need to take yourself out of their affairs and MYOB. And she needs to make sure she is getting help - taking an overdose of sleeping pills is not normal.

Sadly, I am quite familiar with the psych ward. I have a friend who struggles with schizophrenia, and 2 others who have attempted suicide. I have been the driver for all 3, the schizophrenic several times. None of these women have a family support system at all, just church support, and now professional counselling.


Ummm, my Germanic thighs kinda look like that guy on the right, and not is a good way.

That's when they do their best ogling - when you're not looking

my time with the brit was very well spent. And we even talked alittle too

So I was off by a day?

Yeah well later when I wanted to just talk he was still all hands. But yes, you were right. It can be hard to say no when he opens his mouth and that deep sexy accent comes out and that head is sitting on the finest pair of shoulders I've ever seen. I wonder he's got time tonight for a quickie?

The guy friend that both me and my friend liked likes my friend. It hurts but I cant do anything about it, which actually is the most painful part. She's asking him to the Sadie Hawkins dance, even after asking me if that would bother me and I alluded to it being a little bothersome, but that I couldnt control her. Yet she tells me that shes asking him, and said it so nonchalantly that I felt even a little more hurt. She also suggested I ask this other guy. I think that was to make her feel less guilty about asking the guy she knew I liked also.

So now all these people around me are moving forward, things are happening to them, their lives are interesting. And I feel like I've been in the exact same place.

That really sucks. I totally support how you feel. If I was her, I would not date the guy even if I really liked him. The only exception is if I plan to marry the guy, but that's another scenario. Does this guy know that you both like him? Also, who was the one to like him first? With me, it's always chicks before d!cks, because the bond of two friends is stronger than the bond between two in a casual relationship.

As for being the exact same place, it could all change soon. Maybe a better guy will come along to sweep you off your feet or maybe the guy that you like isn't worth it. I know in the past that I've really been attracted to a guy & when we finally got around to dating, it wasn't that great. I dunno, I got to see his real side, the side I was blind to when I was love struck with him. And besides, I know this sound cliche, but there will be other guys out there who only you will like, & he'll feel the same.

Speaking of friends, a friend of my friend asked me out for coffee, on facebook. I could kinda tell that he had interest in me . We'll probably go next Saturday for like, Starbucks downtown. How soon is it to tell that this all plantonic, nothing romantic.

Tom's aunt and uncle just celebrated their 56th wedding anniversary yesterday. So I sent her an e-mail saying congrats, hope you had a great day. This is what I got back:

Thank you for remembering us. After 56 years, one day is the same as another, but we are still happy to have each other

!!! I guess that pretty much says it all!

Thanks, pip! I actually liked him before her, but this was a long time ago and I liked different guys since then but just kept coming back to this guy. She, however, has liked him for years straight. And I realize that the time when me and her were as close as ever was when the guy had a girlfriend. Ugh. Whatever. I hope there will be a better guy to come along.

I guess they've moved past the honeymoon stage. . . .

Thats pretty cute wedd.

The guy at my friends job basically told her he doesn't like her infact he's got beef with her. In not so many words he told people he hates her. For what reason, he didnt tell her. My friend is too shy to have done anything to him to hurt his feelings shes too nice and she's trying to date anyone at work that would make him think she's sleazy. So she called him out after his little fit and said yeah I know you hate me go on tell everyone. He just sat there in silence and people kept asking why and he just got tight lipped. My friend was hoping he'd give a reason why cause then she'd know too. So she's given up on trying to make something happen since that.
I don't know about the brit. Last night was odd. I'm crazy. I'm so kelly right now. But I blame this on my lack of sleep this week. I called him at 2am to yell at him about something and I kept texting him all night. 4:43 am was the last message. We're fine now, we didn't fight fight but I was so annoyed at since I was up, he had to get up too

That sucks Mambo ! That is what I'm afraid will happen with my sister and I--since we are twins. PIP is right though, keep your chin up, you have your whole life to find that special someone! You never know what will happen. I hope that he doesn't affect your friend ship either, you should try not to let that happen !



That sounds swell! Tell us how it goes!

I went dancing--as usual--friday night, and man what a social experiment that is! There is this one kid that I know has a crush or something on my sister and I--not sure which one he likes more. I'm not interested, I mean he is nice and an ok dancer but not more than that.

And I went to the convenience store yesterday for the first time alone since that guy said I had a face of an angel, and it was this other guy--who is more creepy--who seemed to make an effort to touch my hand while taking and passing me back my change ! Hens me avoiding that place! Plus there are a few cute guys that work in different stores on Monkland (the street close to us with all the shops) so it makes it fun when I walk up and run errands !

mambo, that sucks! That must be terrible for you! I think PiP said it best, there'll be other guys out there. I mean he isn't worth it if he doesn't notice you or he likes your friend. It's better to wait for a guy that likes you for you. I hope this whole thing doesn't affect your friendship and that everything works out!



I hope you have a good time!



Wow, that is really mean of that guy! Why would he say that? Weird. I hope she's ok!

I have some pretty close friends and luckily I've never had this problem. However, I have had this problem with guys that I hate liking the same girl. Seems like more often than not that jerk gets the girl.

I was at a wedding on New Year's Eve and I met a girl I liked. I talked to her for a couple hours and she was smart, sweet and very cute. There's a slight catch though. She lives in a city 430 miles away and I probably will never see her again.

That's a tough one to overcome.. .

FGC The only thing I can think of is he's a jerk

Brit and I are fine...I'm just moody cause of no sleep. But my crying at stupid things amuses him like a kid on christmas

I'd love to see you cry. Could you send me a tape of that?

BURN!!!!!

^^ you are so funny

chapter 2 of sammy's small world of internet dating...

I posted a few weeks ago about how my dating service thought my younger brother and I would be a good match...I, of course, thought it was hysterically funny, but he apparently didn't agree. His profile disappeared from my matches shortly afterward. (Actually, I don't think he was that disgusted. We eventually talked about it, and I could see a smirk on his face. Just a little one.)

Shortly after I signed up for this service I exchanged a few messages with a man from my town. I didn't recognize his photo, and after a few days he stopped responding to me. I thought he was a jerk, but beyond that didn't feel too bad - no real sparks.

Yesterday I was flipping through the channels and stopped when I saw a familiar picture on the local government channel. It was "the guy"...he had recently been elected to City Council here, and his home address was posted on the screen.

He lives in my building.

^^^So, the service kind of works, right? I mean, it's hooking you up with people who are already part of your life!

Ugh, that sucks! Is there a way you can meet her again or something?



OMG, small world !

That is weird Sammy


Not really, it's just something that couldn't be overcome. Oh well, the new semester starts next tuesday and I've got 4 new classes.

you gotta find a way to bump into this guy in your building now sammy.

Define "bump".

That could be amusing. I'd never be interested in dating him anymore, but I'd love to make him squirm.

Jerk.