Lenny--Best of luck, hope your plan works out!

I think she is having lunch with him either today or tomorrow. They have lunch about once a week so it's even more mind boggling to me that only meeting once a week for lunch can make him suddenly behave this way

Soo I think I like this one guy. Hes in the grade above me, but we've been talking lately and I'm really attracted to him. He's done things that make it seem like I might like me, or thats just me being the over-analytical girl that I am. Gahhh. Just felt like sharing haha.

^^ That's cool mambo! Do you think you'll ask him out or something?

liz, that guy sounds creepy! I hope your friend can politely decline his 'offer'. You should keep trying to knock sense into her, hopefully it'll work!

^^^ She needs to start packing her own lunch.

That's not a metaphor.

Awesome! I'm glad you've found someone you like! How are things with your friend and the guy you both like? I hope things go well with this guy!

That would be ideal. And healthier.

Hey I couldn't agree with you guys more, but this is how she is. I cant change her personality but I try to drill it in her head til finally it sticks. She lets guilt play too much into her choices.

I myself and not a happy camper with nick. He's been a a$$ and he's sent my mood way down. I'm ignoring him the rest of the day.

He messaged me. Gave me his number, I gave him mine. And he texted me. For awhile. Hehe I'm happy.

Nice mambo!!

thats a step in the right direction mambo. Hope it works out for ya

She thinks blackmail is morally wrong, but she's has lunch with a guy who wants to cheat on his wife with her, and is her boss????

That guy is a lawsuit waiting to happen. She should tape their next conversation on one of those mini-recorders and send it to his wife, along with the address of a good divorce lawyer, right after she gets her own lawyer.





Oh mambo, how wonderful!

Yay! Awesome Mambo ! I'm so happy for you!

mambo that's awesome!

Veebs, I've tried to explain things to her, but like my other posts she's one of those young women who thinks she shouldn't be rude. I'm more direct but she isn't. She finds it hard to give up their friendship becuase he's not acted this way before until now. I believe I have said, he is not her current boss, but a former boss that she's remained friendly with. So atleast they don't work together now. I disagree with everything, I don't like the way she's handling at all.

Liz, is it possible that she's actually kind of interested in this guy, and is testing the waters to see what you'd think of her if she pursued this?

This sounds a little more than just being afraid of being perceived to be rude...

Question...would love your opinions!

Would you rather be single, or be merely content in a relationship because of the comfort?

^^^Single. It's a little difficult at first, but you get used to it and you enjoy the freedom from the anxiety.

Is there ever a way to break up with someone without feeling guilty?

WOS I can see possibly that she likes the idea of being chased. I also don't think she would test the waters. She's lately been having a religious awakening I call it and finding herself going back to her religious upbringing more an more. I don't think she could but doesn't mean it can't happen have a one night stand.

Seeing as she's never had a serious relationship I don't know if she really knows the right way to say no. I laugh cause I think as well, all her OCD would stop her from having some naughty affair I know thats not funny but you've not seen her OCD in full force.

I'm going to have a talk with her tonight I hope and see what's happened if anything

Not unless they cheated on you. Other than that, I don't think so. There's always some guilt.

There's a lot to be said for comfort too. Just how content or discontent is this person?

If you have had any sort of emotional investment in a relationship, cutting it off is going to be tough, and someone is going to get hurt. Almost any time we do something that results in pain or hurt feelings for someone else, it's going to cause guilty feelings on some level. But you can't let that stop you from doing the right thing.

Well, sometimes content, sometimes pretty unhappy. I almost get the feeling that the contentment might be from not knowing what else is out there...maybe thinking that this happiness is the best it's going to get. You know, you can't miss what you never had.



It's so ironic because the heart tells you that the right thing is to not hurt someone you love, but at the same time, you could be hurting yourself.

Do things ever get easy?!?

Single, because comfort isn't enough to get you through all the years that stretch ahead.


No.


No.

I don't mean to be flip, it's just that we rationalize all kinds of things to ourselves when it comes to relationships, but under it all, some things never really change. Good luck minki.

Single, cause you can always find someone to be happy with and the single life isn't bad at all. There are positives and negatives to both.



Yes, very true. If your not happy with this person, you should maybe break up. It's never easy, but it's worth it for there will be someone else--like with Pam/Roy/Jim. But only if you feel you should part .

minkiloo, you should go with your gut! Like Colbert. If that means breaking up, then do that. It might be hard at first but like everything, it'll get better. Good luck!

But then you wouldn't be single anymore.

Ahh. There you go! That's what this whole thread is about. Awful, but sometimes awesome!

I've noticed a pattern here though. All of the "awesome" moments are from periods when single people weren't single. The most exciting part about being single is the promise that we won't be single forever.

^^^True, but I'm thoroughly enjoying being single! If a good guy comes along, well that wouldn't be bad either, but I'm good for now !

Thanks for the help guys. Taking life in a new direction is scary, but it's good to know that if I choose to do so, you guys will be here for friendly advice and cheering up

Any time minkiloo! Good luck!



We are never really single cause we have each other.

Apparently twins develop relationship wise, slower than singletons. We don't need that, cause we already have that special connection with eachother.

Sorry, info. coming out of my ears! I'm doing a research project on twins.



Good point D.

It's tough because our very natures work against us. The way we evolved, it is coded into our very DNA to "switch it up" - to find new partners after a certain time to give our "resulting offspring" the greatest sort of diversity that would let them survive to pass on their own DNA.

This is a really complicated way of saying that things such as the Seven Year Itch are perfectly natural (back when we were cheetah food, 7 years of togetherness was about the amount of time it took to raise a baby to be independent enough to survive without dedicated efforts of two committed parents).

So, it sometimes becomes more a matter of overcoming your natural inclination to stray to "make yourself" stay with the person you have chosen. It isn't easy. In fact, it's hard darn work once all those initial infatuation hormones wear off.

As painful and unromantic as they are, it sometimes comes down to a Pro/Con list. Does the person improve your life or detract from it? Are you happier when you are with or away from this person?

And, painful as it is, every relationship in the world suffers from downtimes. There are times you look at your partner and wonder why they won't just oblige you by falling off a cliff. Then, when you least expect it, they'll do something wonderful that reminds you why you chose them and then your relationship moves on to a whole new level, before it plateaus again.

MB and I seem to have identical answers - hers is just a lot more concise than mine.

Is it ever easy? No. Is the work worth it? If the answer is "Yes," you stay. If the answer is "No," that may be a sign to get out.

_


(Lord this makes me sound old!)

Wow, good advice WOS. It's sad that isn't really like a romantic comedy, but what are ya gonna do. This is making my decision a lot easier, and I think i've come to a point where I've realized that I need to make - making myself happy - a priority.

preach it WOS!

I've read that and it's reminded me why I love the brit and why I have stayed even though I would find it easier to hurl myself off a bridge. at times. When it's the one it's worth it, tears and all.

I like the crest/trough analogy too. Healthy relationships, even the most established ones, are like riding the waves, sometimes you're on the crest of the wave and can't stand to be apart, and are madly in love. Other times you're heading down into the trough, and you really just can't stand the way they chew their food or throw their socks on the floor. I've found this to be very true. Ups and downs. The trick is to grip on more tightly than ever, and wait until the boat starts heading back up to that crest again. Not jumping over board.

Again, I stress, healthy relationships.

I told you that I shouldn't have mentioned it. It didn't work out. I'll never understand women.

It was through a dating site. Our profiles were nearly identical. We had some really weird things in common too...same pets names (a common one), same nephews names (a very uncommon one), she works at the hospital that I spent a few days in a few years ago (actually that's weird, because there are so many around here, and I have to pass about a dozen of them to get to that one), she has the same first name as my last girlfriend (I didn't tell her that!), she writes Haiku... Anyway, she sought me out, we've been talking for the past few days and tonight I got a canned dumping, "The following person ________ has decided that you are not a match due to distance." Distance? Okay, it's about a fifty minute drive, but she knew that before we spent the past few days going back and forth. I know she used distance as a nice excuse to spare my feelings, but I'd much rather know what the real reason was. Oh, well. Back to working on my boss. Maybe I'll just go in on Monday and tell her, "You've already given me a raise. Now, can we talk about my review?"

I'm bummed, but not really. Just like on a real rollercoaster, the peaks and valleys on the singles rollercoaster become shorter and less dramatic as you get older. She was barely a bump.

I hope I'll eat those words soon, but...

Single.


Yes, if the breakup is that person's fault. Like when I broke up with the guy who turned out to be a stalker. I felt no guilt. I felt stupid for going out with him in the first place, but not guilt. Next time I'm hiring a private investigator. Maybe Detective Diapers.


Where? Who??? What? Oh, that was a hypothetical...


Naw, I've had lots of awesome single moments. But I didn't know there was a promise - where?

I think the whole situation depends on if you're married or not. Dating ain't married, engaged ain't married. When you're married, you made a vow, to that person, in front of God and the whole world. So unless that person is abusive or cheating on you, etc, or for some other reason has abandoned the marriage, I think people should stay. Yeah, there are peaks and valleys. My parents have been married for 58 years, and I can honestly say there were some tough years. But there's also something to be said for staying with and working for something you have both committed to, that leads to a warm inner happiness and satisfaction.

Anyone can disagree with this and I am ok with that.

Great points Diapers.

BTB's got himself a date tomorrow...we'll see how it goes.

I need something to take my mind off of Dynamics...which is wiping the floor with me...in just the second week of school.

Here, you should wear this,


Have fun BTB! Good luck.

What are those curly things at the end of the line...these ()...?

Well if you don't know, I'm not going to explain it to you. . . .

Are they clothes so the numbers don't get cold?

This t-shirt is obviously too advanced for you.

ouch...

It's just a flesh wound. I'm certain you've forgotten more mathematical stuff than I ever knew.

I do know that 1 + 1 = 2. Have a great date.

I have been kinda flirting with a girl at work for the past month or so. I have my mind on someone else, but sometimes I can't help myself.

Today I found out she flirts with a lot of guys, in fact, rumor is two (much older) guys got fired for sexual harassment after being caught grabbing her tuckus. I've decided to stop talking to her. I'm gonna have to do that d-baggy guy thing where I avoid contact, ignore her when she's talking to me, and pick fights about stupid crap. But hey, it's all about preserving my job. Someone else shoots and I score.

Tuckus? These boards are turning me into a 70 year old Manhattanite.

She's a tease.

Tuckus? I haven't heard that word since I moved from South Florida.

Good luck with that.

No, I mean this one.
Not the one that can get you fired.

What are you gonna do? Bleed on me?

(I can't resist quoting back if it's Python...) And look...I'm keeping my words warm.


Ya, I'd stay away from that. Sounds like the girl you're interested in is much more worth the time of day.

And I think it's spelled "tookus"...although I'm probably wrong.

Me lecturing on spelling...that's funny.

Don't make me get out my herring.