Yeah, that. And 5 hours is WAAAAAAY too long.


Should I start planning carpools?

lizzy, I guess I wonder why you keep asking him about trust. Has he given you reasons not to trust him?

As far as the trust thing goes, I do that to Tom a lot too. It's my insecurity of only having had one boyfriend before him while he was in the Army with his double digit flings. He gets angry with me and says that it upsets him that I don't trust him. I do, but I guess that I know that there is always that 24 year old soldier still there who was scoring left and right and I always worry that he might want to go back to those ways. He says he doesn't, and 99.9999999% knows that he won't, but the highly negative side of me always worries that he might, especially when we go through rough times like this. Because honestly, I don't want to be living the way we are right now, so I know he doesn't either.

Oh I'm not suggesting that he's even remotely being unfaithful in anyway. Even if he were that kind of guy, (it doesn't sound like he is), I don't think he has the time or energy! LOL! It just sounded like a way of changing the subject to me.

I've already hit the edge. In fact...I'm falling off of it...HARD. He said she text him to see how he was doing and that it was really brief. He emphasized brief, it seemed to me that he was reassuring me that he is NOT going to get back with her. IDK. He keeps texting me and the other night it was totally in his body language and our conversation that makes me think he really does like me. He'd make little comments too like, earlier in the evening when we were talking about movies he mentioned that he loved scary ones and I told him I haven't seen one since I was 17 (5 years ago) and that every time I do, I'm practically on top of the other person I'm watching it with ( ..yeah I said that on purpose...but it's true) and later when we were at the video store I asked him what we should get and he said under his breath "a scary one" with a sly smile on his face. I pretended not to hear and asked him to repeat and he just had the same smile on his face and said "oh nothing." WTH? Constant flirting...having a great time when we hang out...GREAT conversation and similar interests...Is he just playing with me? I want to pull back because I know it's not healthy after he just got out of a relationship like that, but if he is telling me he is over her...shouldn't I believe him? He's not the type to just get what he wants out of a something and drop it. He's pretty genuine. I just don't know and I'm going insane over it because the more I think about the whole situation, the more I want him.


That was just something I read in a book. And if you want to get all technical, we were together for 7 hours, but really a good 3 1/2 or 4 of those was watching movies, I mean we definitely still talked...but I mean...it's just movies.

wedd I would like to say one thing that really describes me to a tee in what you wrote.. The highly nedative side of me always worries that he might, especially when we go through rough times like this.

As soon as it gets hard we both don't know what to do and just ignore each other.

Sharp, oh sharp 7 hrs even if the bulk of the time is watching movies is still a long date. even if you were only hanging out. It sounds to me like you two haven't lost a beat between each other.

Except here's the good news - he's not 24 anymore. People get sick of that kind of stuff, they want more, they want commitment, they want a deeper connection. And he married YOU! What more could he want???


Of course. We've known that for a week now. How long ago did she break up with him? What has he been doing since the breakup? Why did they break up? And we need to assign them names, please. How about we call them Jim and Karen?

The continuing saga of Sharpie:


Karen who is 19, broke up with Jim, who is 21 (almost 22) about 3 weeks ago. She broke up with him over another guy. (who just happens to be 30...and has a 9 year old son.) Well...apparently that didn't work out and so of course she is going to come crawling back to him, but he has said on numerous occasions that he won't even consider taking her back. I think this is a wise decision. As Lizzy stated earlier...yeah...I guess he really was my first love (and it took FOREVER to get over him, even though I was the one who broke it off) I may have said this earlier too...but I guess there is a tiny part of me that never really did get over him and so I jumped at the chance (after circumstances had changed over those 4 years and we have both matured) to befriend him again.

Here adds more drama:
I went out to eat with the youth pastor of our church and his wife tonight and they had dinner over at Jim's house (w/the fam) Sat. night. They asked him how he was doing and my youth pastor seems to think that he said he had a date on Fri night (ME!) but the youth pastor said he could have been mistaken and just said he went out on Fri. IDK. Anyway, Jim also mentioned that he has a date on Tues with a waitress he met at the Olive Garden. I know that he made these plans prior to our initial time together at Denny's and of course way before Fri night. I know this because the night we went to Denny's...he had dinner at the olive garden.

He text me alllllllll night tonight while he was at work....and yesterday too. Sigh. I know I'm in the danger zone here because when they told me he had a date on tues my heart dropped.

I'm having hardcore issues guarding my heart right now...and to tell you the truth...I know I don't really have a reason to be upset...but I am.

Well, step back a second. He just got out of a 4 year relationship and lined up dates with two different women in a week? I'm not so sure that he is looking for something serious right now. What happens if you call him Tuesday and ask him to go out for coffee? See if he tells you about the other date. It just seems to me like he may be one of those guys who doesn't want to be alone. Please be careful.

It seems to be a pretty common, but highly destructive reaction.


Sharpie, whether he says he's over it or not, is beside the point. It's only been 3 weeks, and she's still trying to get him back. He needs a bit more time whether he wants it or not. Do you really want a guy who can just completely get over a 4 year relationship in 3 weeks? I doubt very much that he has all his emotional ducks in a row yet. But that doesn't mean he doesn't want things to work with you. It may be what he wants most in the world right now. But taking it slow is just a wise move right now for you both. And if you want to know how he feels about the date Tues. just ask him directly. No games. If you want an honest answer, ask an honest question.

3 weeks ago???? Ummm, yeah, he needs time. Take care, sweetie.

mixed and wedd gave you some awesome advice sharp. You may be ready to jump right in but he might not be. Please try to not let this drive you crazy.

^^



...he didn't...cause with ME it was not a date.







You all have good advice. Isn't it amazing how I can think clearly and help other people resolve their relationship issues...but when it comes to me, I'm completely ignorant. You're right...I don't want a guy who can get over a 4 year relationship in 3 weeks (even though it's been a long time coming...I think he knew it was about to end). Karen hasn't really tried to get him back per say...she's just text him a few times here and there asking if he was ok and if he was dating anyone else yet. I am curious as to how this date with the waitress will pan out though...because he asked her before we had such an amazing time together.

Also..it was 2 weeks exactly after I broke up with him initially that he started his (on and off) 4 year relationship with Karen. He told me a couple years after that I had broken his heart....

See??? I am justifing things and being totally irrational right now because I want him so badly. This is so dangerous...I'm already hurt and I have absolutely no right to feel that way.

don't think sharp because he did that to you, you can do that to him. Remember he might go running back to the Karen. Then your left again with a broken heart. Then I'd have to pop his tires.

Awww Sharpie, we can tell he's very special to you, (again). And he's an Office flan, so he obviously has taste and a great sense of humor. And you should enjoy this time getting to know him again on this level. This is golden time. Just be careful honey, and don't make any committments yet. Just a little more time . . .

I really do understand what you're feeling. Hubby and I broke up and were apart for 3 years, during which we both dated other people, (he had 1 long relationship). After we graduated from college we were both single again, (for many months), and hanging out with friends, you can imagine the thoughts we were having. Anyway, at then end of the holidays, we got back together. It was kind of strange and exciting to be together again, and I discovered that those feelings were all still there, I had just tucked them away, thinking I'd never use them again. I felt okay kind of diving in again because he'd been single for 6 months.

Mixed and Holdthechicken sittin' in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
First comes love,
Then comes break-up,
Then comes other people,
Then comes friendship,
Then comes loooove again.

I'm sorry to hear that isn't working out the way you wanted to Sharpie . I'd offer advice but it looks like others have said what I would've said, only better.

Does he know how you feel though? Without being uber creepy, maybe you confess that you really like him & it seems like he doesn't feel the same. Just briefly explain yourself while allowing him to explain how he feels. Who knows, maybe he believes that you want to be friends or maybe he doesn't have the balls to admit how he truly feels. Either way, it sucks. You deserve to be with a guy who appreciates how awesome & beautiful you are & it seems like this current guy isn't aware of that. Since you seem to have feelings for him I hope he opens his eyes & realizes that he has someone fabulous right there. If he doesn't well, it's his fault that he's missing out on a real woman & that's his loss.

Yeah. I don't think it's gonna happen.


*long winded sigh

!!!




Wait, what? What Pip said or something else?

Oh Veebs you're good . . . you're very good.


I did NOT expect that.

How come? It kinda feels like that's what you guys are helping me build myself up for. I mean...helping me realize that it's not time for anything yet and helping me not get my hopes up. No?



IDK. We text all night last night cause he was at work and it came out that he had a date. I said something like "so I hear you have a hot date tonight" and he played dumb until he said it wasn't tonight it was later in the afternoon...trying to be all funny and such. (it wasn't funny. ) He had originally said "oh yeah? and who would that be?" And I said, "IDK, too bad it's not me ." so I guess I was pretty bold and he just said that he just met her and didn't know what would come of it, if anything.

He'd have to be deaf, blind, and dumb not realize that I like him now....so at least he has that in mind as he's going on his date? IDK. I probably shouldn't have done that. What do you all think?

Well I was cautiously optimistic.

You could always now just flat out ask him if he thought there was a chance of you two getting back together sharp. Please don't take this the wrong way, but if you've had that already awkward moment you could always just take the last step and either really embaress yourself or find out whats really going on so then you can really try to heal your heart and move on completely if thats the case.

The more important thing is what you'll do now. It's been said, and he knows without a doubt what you want. What kind of note did your last conversation (text or otherwise) end on?

I might just let it rest a day or two, or until he contacts you, whichever is first. It'll give you some time to get a little more objective perspective on it. Don't lose hope yet, but just step back a little.

Haha...well as of last night after a while I ended it on "Have an awful time ). And he said thanks.


See...I'm not so sure he still gets it.

AND....she stood him up...and he text me to tell me so and we've been texting back and forth today. (I'm at work when he isn't and vice versa...so we text).

I'm not sure where this is going but you can bet your sweet barrel of beets that I'll keep you all updated. And thanks once more, Mixed, VB, Liz, Pip, and Sammy ( and Bmac) for all your great advice.

^^

Oops..and Wedd too. (Did I miss anyone else? Cause I really appreciate you all, you've made me more rational and it's really helped.)

It's good your still keeping a sense of humor even though it can tough at different times sharp.

Well, don't turn all Negative Nellie on us. It's just gonna take some time and patience till things get worked out.

And you never answered why they broke up - yeah she dumped him for someone else, but they've been on again-off again for awhile, right? What's the problem?

IDK, I was never really into the whole Jim/Karen soap opera. I disconnected myself so I wouldn't have to think about it. I just don't think they are right for each other.


Oh...and we're about to head to a 24 hour diner....soooooo see ya'll in a bit .

Oh, really???? Shouldn't you be at home in bed - alone?

Well I was at home alone, until he asked me to go with him to eat...so I went.


It was great. REALLY excellent conversation and he kept saying things like "Oh and I found another good movie for us to watch." and things of that nature.


And....he paid.

That's great Sharpie! Slow and steady . . . nice.

oh my

I totally missed that.

My dirty sense of humor kicked in

You know what? I think I'm gonna stop talking about this. The more I think about it...the more I know ya'll are right and I need to step back. I don't want it to consume me and as much as I hate to say it, I really don't think it would be the best idea if we got together. So I'm going to drop it, but if anything drastic happens I'll probably mention it. Otherwise feel free to pm me. Thanks ladies.

I got kiss blew at me. It wasn't from a hot guy, and not from the brit.
The brit has got me a present! it's hidden in his drawer and my attempts to find out exactly what failed.

Oh, at first I thought you said "drawers".





I think the guy at the car rental agency was flirting with me.

"Anybody else driving the car?"

"No."

"No spouse or anything?"

"No."

Yeah, I'm probably reaching for that one.

Being single sucks!

It's not so much what he said, it's how he said it.

Nope, he was flirting with you.

sammy you need to go back and rent you another car soon He was totally flirting with you!

NO present today. Not happy, I need a gift

Oh yeah? Wait til you're older.

Seriously, she's right. And being in a relationship isn't all that much better at times, Don't epect perfection, because it's not going to happen. Not trying to be negative, but that's how it is.

Ha ha, it's so boring though!

I work with a 19 year old, and she's been with her boyfriend for a couple of months. Me, I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. She gets off the phone with her b/f and says "I feel so nauseous when I'm not with him.". I just stared at her and said "Ya, give it some time. You'll feel nauseous when your with him too"

I got my friend to come over to the single gals club.

Last night we were talking about her many boyfriends, and we made a list of all of them. She was really amazed at how many bad apples she has dated. She told me she is going to take a break and just enjoy being with herself. She has made enough bad decisions when it comes to men. I am so glad she is going to take a step back and just enjoy life right now.

Ugh! I remember those days. When I was 16. When you're saying things like that, it's time to take a step back and find yourself again.

LOL, yeah I remember, I could not breathe without him kissing me, he was my air, and without him I would die.

Yeah, I am still here

Kay nevermind, it is totally awesome!

men suck. It's in the vent thread basically but I hate how blind men are. I'd have to slit my wrists I guess before he'd noticed that I'm unhappy about aspects of our relationship.

boys= stupid.