You're not a loser at all. It sounds like you're really trying to make the best of the situation and that you're ready to heal and move on. Humor is indispensible in these situations. I know.

Just go easy on yourself and you can always come here if you need to vent.

Wow ... gotta say that reading some of these relationship accts, it really is an eye-opening experience to read how the female mind works in these instances. Sometimes strikingly similar to my own methods, other times completely different. Eh, I guess such diversity is probably to be expected, right?

Anyway, I was doing some spring cleaning of my old e-mail acct. Basically deleting everything that wasn't from friends and family. Then I came across a folder I hadn't opened in months ... My "Paren" folder.

A quick recap: There were two women in my life a few months ago: "Paren" (former co-worker w/ domineering attitude) and "Kam" (online date w/ laid back attitude). Paren and I had a huge fall-out and haven't spoken or contacted each other in any way for the last couple months. Kam and I dated for three months and very amicably split up last week.

So anyway, I was reading some of my old emails to Paren. And I was amazed. Man, I was so clearly in love with this woman back then. Then it hit me: I was in love with the selfish Paren, but I couldn't muster up those same intense feelings for the awesome Kam ... who clearly deserved them way more. Which leads me to the question: am I attracted to train-wrecks?

I wound up deleting every single email I ever sent to or received from Paren, and then deleted the folder itself. Over five years of memories, literally and symbolically, wiped clean.

Think it's going to be a while before I go back into the dating pool. Need to figure some things out over here.

^^

Speaking as a woman, I thank you. It's definitely best that you sort through what you need to before climbing into another relationship. If you don't, you can't really give the next person what they really do deserve.

the brit left me some pics today and very nice mail to cheer me up. I love that part of being in a relationship

Looks like I'll be single for the rest of the year. Awesome. Gosh, that kid is such an idiot.

what happened with the guy jam?

He was stupid. He was like, "There's nothing wrong with you. You seem cool. But the fact that you're a freshman, and I'm a senior and your sister is a senior is a little... Awkward." And he was being all cocky about dancing with me. And he was like, "Well I wanted to dance, and you looked hot." And that was my first slow dance, and I told him that, and he was like, "Well sorry.." And he didn't even care, and I'm mad now.

ugh. I'm sorry he was being stupid jam *hugs*

I have an evil plan for him, though.. Muahha!

you just be careful

He he, don't worry. The only person who will be hurt is him!

Oo, Jam what's your plan?

Hm. There's this kid coming over on Saturday. He's taking me shopping. I'm thinking I should have him stay, then the evil kid will come over. I will ignore evil kid, and talk to the kid that took me shopping. The evil kid will get annoyed..

don't lead on the boy who will take you shopping though

Here's some dating advice from a 6 year old boy. We were listening to my wedding song and he was saying that I was boring for not dancing at my wedding and I said, probably but your wedding will be awesome because you love to dance and he said yes I do and I said, what if she doesn't want to dance either and he said, then I can't marry her and I said, what, you're not going to marry someone because they want to dance? That's not right.

And he said, "Well, if she's pretty enough I'll let it slide".

Oh I won't. He's really... Possessive? I don't know if that's the right word, but he gets that way when there are other guys around me. So I think my plan will work out just fine. Because I'll want his attention, and he'll want my attention. And the other guy will be like, "Okay.." And I'll laugh.

That kid...he really is something

good luck with it Jam.

That is the funniest thing wedd

Good thing it was only dancing. Be careful, JAM.

Forget the plan. Leaving him alone is better. Why should you focus any of your time and attention on him? He's clearly not worth it, even to be evil to.


I love him!

Yeah, he has his moments!

Thanks.


I'll be careful, don't worry. I have it all planned out. That kid totally wants me.. Not even going to lie.

I remember walking past my crushes locker every day between every class. I just always wanted him to see I was around.
I think now thats called stalking

Ha ha, niiice. There's nothing wrong with that, Liz. You just wanted to see him any time you could. Plus, if he was a hotty like my kid is...

I thought he was the hottest thing walking on two legs. And when I saw him at his graduation a year later. He grew, and filled out and I was totally drooling over him the whole time we were talking

Yeah so is this kid.. <- That's what I do every time I see him, ha ha ha.

oh boy jam. Thats both a good and bad thing ya know I tried to look this guy up on classmates but he wasn't there. He's probelry married and then I'd feel creepy

I think it's a good thing that he's that good looking.

None of my business...nobody asked me...but....making yourself look foolish and desperate for a boy never really works out.

I'm not looking foolish and desperate for this guy.

oh my, this guy is totally flirting with me. all his scarbble words are suggestive

What if he doesn't get jealous jam?

Get jealous of the other guy that will be over? Hm.. Then I guess I'll talk to him once the other kid leaves. He'll probably be annoyed though. He obviously has some feelings for me.

is the other guy not your type?

No he definitely is. I've known him forever and I've been in love with him for a while ha ha ha. Not in love.. But like I think he's the hottest thing. And he knows, and he absolutely loves it.

ah I see now. So what are you going to do then if he gets all jealous and stuff ?

I don't really know. Maybe he'll say something about kinda liking me.. And then I'll finally get my hug on my couch.. But once the other kid is gone.

just looking for a hug? or are you thinking BF material ?

Playing games with guys just doesn't sound like the right thing to me.

It just gives guys ammo that girls never know what they really want, and they just want to play games, and they don't think guys have any feelings.

Well I owed him a hug.. So..


I'm not really playing games. But the kid obviously kinda likes me, and I wanna bring that out.

okay scrabble partner just hit on me out right. It was suggestive words. he asked if I had a myspace i said yeah and I gave him my myspace name. This was before the suggestive words. He looked at my page and stuff and said I think you are very sexy are you seeing anyone? HOLY COW! I said seeing I'm engaged! He played the game and left

Yeah, I learned that the hard way myself. I think I mentioned it here once before. High school I had the biggest crush in the world, so obvious, the whole school knew it. He never gave me a second look. We wound up going to the same college and had a class together. Me, thinking I'm all worldy and over my childhood infatuation, went up to him and was like "Hey, Steve, how are you?", all cool and I'm-so-over-you. His response? "Who are you again?"

And then I didn't learn with Tom either. When he came home from the military I was so stupid, I would do ANYTHING. I mean, I had a key to his apartment and I would go there and clean as a surprise. We were at the bar once and he said he had a headache and I ran to the store to buy him some aspirin even then he said he didn't need them. I even got a sprained ankle from jumping out of bed at 2:30 in the morning to answer a page from him--and we all know what those pages are for. Finally I woke up and realized what a desperate, pathetic doormat I was, and I stopped calling him, stop answering his calls on the first ring. I started talking back to him, standing up for myself, calling him out on his behavior. I was thisclose to being over him, and then we had a big talk and we worked through a lot of things. But even to this day, with our 5 year anniversary coming up, I still cringe when I remember how pathetic I was and I still get angry at him randomly for letting it go on. I'm never going to completely get over how little self-respect I had at that point in my life. I'm still embarrassed by it. Needless to say, we don't talk about that three year period all that much.

So, long story short, don't lose yourself or do something that's not you for a guy.

define desperate? Because that may have happened when the brit and I got back together

That kid that I like right now who I'm kind of mad at got suspended for getting his phone taken away too much. And it's kinda my fault, but it really isn't.

Remember when people just met in bars? . . . .

I played another game with my scrabble partner. He was okay after I told him I was not interested even when he pressed well what if you wouldn't get caught question.
isn't that the truth mixed.

the brit finally called me and I started crying on the phone again. I hope he means it when we are going to fix both situations.

There was a senior I had a crush on in 10th grade. He drove a blue Chevelle, he lived in the rich part of town. I used to walk past his car in the parking lot. And during his free time (juniors and seniors had free time instead of study hall, where they could do whatever they wanted, even leave the school campus), he used to sit with a bunch of his frinds in the 5th floor cafeteria. I would walk through on my way to and from class every day while he was sitting there. I never said hi and he never knew I existed. I was horribly, horribly shy.


Truth spoken


You don't need to bring that out. If he likes you enough, he'll do something about it. If not, he's a dud.

And there's no such thing as a guy that's too shy to ask you out. If a guy likes you enough, he will do anything to get to know you. And if he's not man enough to ask me out, he's not man enough for me. *shrugs* Manipulation is not a good thing.


I never had a middle of the night call - is that a booty call? Good for you for finally taking charge of your life. I am proud of you!


Hey, it's his choice how he uses his phone. It's not your fault.

Yeah, but it wasn't even a real one, because we were so messed up that we did everything but go all the way because in his mind, that would make us serious. I know, it's a real long story, I can't fully explain. There is a backstory--I went out with one of his friends for seven years, so he felt guilty about that. Too guilty to go all the way, but not too guilty to drunk dial me to go almost all the way every weekend. It took us seriously three years to finally do it.

Anyway, so the sprained ankle took me about a week to figure out that I must have gotten it that way because I was limping around suddenly and didn't realize why.

Um I don't know, though...

Pfft yeah there is. All the guys in my school play hard to get and the girl always has to do the work.

Hahahahahhahhaahhaha. The first two times were my fault, but the third time his dad called so he went to close it, and the hall monitor caught him. But he texted again and said he was joking about me texting him too much. So he's not blaming me at all. It's still hilarious, though.

oh veebs it sounds like your crush was kinda like 16 candles. You were the cool molly ringwold and he was jake ryan. You never gave your undies to a geek did you ?

Apparently the brit is going to work on something for us tomorrow. I thought it might be today but he said he can't. I suspect ms. thang.

He better make a move soon jam. I'm getting frustrated now

Ha ha, now you know how I've been feeling!! I texted him today but he won't text back because he doesn't want to get suspended again..

why he just come out and say it though?? Proberly why I date much in high school.