Say what? Ha ha.

He was like, "Hey!!" To me in the hall, and I was like, "Hi..."

maybe it's the different areas but I remember girls in my school flat out telling guys they wanted to do dirty things to them then maybe they'd be a couple. My school was full of *****

Ummm, no they don't. You have the opportunity to be the girl that is different, the girl that has self respect. Be that girl.

I already am that girl.

shouldn't you be asleep?

Ha nope. I have to be up to get ready for school!!

I want your energy.

Hey, Jam, I'm going to have to weigh in here with VB and bmac - I know that everyone has to learn everything they truly know by going through it personally, but it seems as if you're posting all this here for feedback if nothing else.

So, here's some feedback: Your plans for trying to stir up jealousy among these various boys (boys who are so much older than you are - a year can make a big difference when you're a teenager, and these guys have several years on you) will be really transparent to them. They'll immediately see what you are trying to do, and they won't think better of you for it. In fact, it will drive home how much younger you are, and how you're not ready for hanging out with them.

Here's some perspective - think back to when you were a couple of years younger. Chances are pretty good that you did some things and acted in some ways that cause you to cringe just by remembering it. Well, trying to stir up jealous feelings with guys will be something that makes you cringe just as much (if not a lot more) when you get a little older. The fact that you'll quickly come to realize that they can tell what you're up to (and will be pretty annoyed by it), will make it worse. Any time you try to manipulate people to get an outcome, it usually backfires spectacularly.

Sorry to be so negative about this, dear - take it as the voice of experience of someone who cringes a LOT when I think of being your age. Now that I know how I appeared to the older guys I pursued, it's a little humiliating. Playing games NEVER reflects well on the people who play them.

There - I'll once again put away my "old bat" soapbox.

And these guys may not be as good as you seem to think they are and they will take advantage of the fact that you are three years younger and interested in them. The older you are, the better you are at the game. And you have a lot more to lose than they do. I keep saying it--next year, this guy will be somewhere else, and you will be a sophomore in high school. Concentrate on that and not some senior who may (I said may) just be looking to score a 14 year old before he hits the college big time. Or turns 18--depending on what the statutory rape laws are in your state.

I started seeing my ex when I was 16 and he was 19 and I was so outclassed.I could give you millions of examples, but here is the worst. He was trying to get me to do something I didn't want to. So he kept telling me how good his ex was at doing it. I fell for it and said to myself "Well, I'm better than she is for him and if she did it, so can I". So I did it (and that is a horrible story that to this day, I actually think could have qualified as assault, but I won't get into that at all right now-). Two months later, I said, hey, you know, I did it and I have been doing it, when are you going to do it and he said "Never. I hate doing that and I never will". And we were together for almost seven years and he never did (well, once). And why did I stay all that time? Because I was embarrassed at myself for falling for all of his mind games and I was trying to make things right. I finally walked away when I was 23. From 16 to 23 I was with this stupid a$$ guy, falling for his tricks and trying to make him love me. Leaving him was the best thing I ever did--to which he responded by first telling me wanted to marry me and then when I said no, by stalking me.

All I'm saying, again, is this: BE CAREFUL. And stop putting your heart on your sleeve.

Ha ha.


Kay... I don't think I'm doing that plan, though. Because he's being all nice now. And he's FOR SURE coming over Saturday.. And I don't think that other kid is going to stay.. But I invited this other senior over, because we are good friends and he likes The Office. So there will be two seniors.

Ive not been on all day so whats been happening with you and this guy jam?

Today the brit spent time with me since my mother was with my aunt and we had a nice day, just us alone

Oh nothing much. He's coming over Saturday. And I said hi to him in the hall, and he smiled big.

Gonna have to move it along jam the year is almost out

Ha, move what along? Nothing is happening.

give him a nudge jam

What do I do? So confused..

Liz, don't encourage her!!!

say something more than hi or whats up for starters. Ask him whats he doing later.

lizzy - you are no help at all!!! We are trying to help her! not get her knocked up!

Actually when I was a senior I dated a sophomore. He was my first love - it was like that Diana Hyland/John Travolta thing, except I didn't die. All we did was talk, talk, talk all the time. We couldn't learn enough about each other. *sigh*

Love just isn't that easy after high school.

When he comes over my house..? Because I know what he'll be doing later...


Nothing is going to happen! He has already set the boundary on what we can do!

So, what's his boundary? Does he go to church? Who are his parents? What are their values?

And what time should the chaperones be at your house?

!!!!




What?! Your mom better be real close by because this is what we are talking about. He tells you what you can do, you say, no, let's do more, he says, we can't, you say, no, it'll be okay, I promise, he says, okay, I guess so, if you really want to.

And then you either regret what happened or it becomes the most important thing in the world and he thinks nothing of it.

I know you're not listening, but I am still trying.

I am glad you found that funny.

He already said that, "There's nothing wrong with you. You seem cool. But the fact that you're a freshman, and I'm a senior and your sister is a senior is a little.. Awkward." So he's not going to do anything. He said it's up to me to do anything. And I'm not an outgoing person like that..


I am listening! And thinking! My mom isn't going to be home. My mom trusts the guy but she doesn't trust me...? Nope. The kid doesn't want me. He just wants to be friends. Read my above reply to Veebs.

Um, I told you. He wants to put it all on you so he can't take any responsibility for what does or doesn't happen. I'm seriously not ttrying to be a jerk here, I am really just trying to warn you to be careful.

I'm tired of my friend being single...I'm going to get her to go out tonight with me and we're going on a man hunt for her.

Well Jam if you end up only being friends thats cool. maybe he's got a cute friend who's only a a sophmore or junior. I'm sure Jam you'll be smart in what ever your choices are, but if he gets too personal. I'm getting mixed and her duct tape

It's not like we specifically talked about Saturday and I said I was going to try something with him, and he said that I could try or something. He's basically saying that it would be weird, and I'm not that kind of person who's going to do something like that. Besides, my sister will be there. So that would be a little weird if I tried something with her sitting right there...


We're only going to be friends. It's not a big deal. Ew, I hate all the sophomores... If he gets too personal? Whaat?

^^ oh Jam

I wouldn't come on too strong. Guys may say they like a girl who makes the first move and all but when your a bit younger guys see it as kinda whorish

I'm not going to even come on strong!! We're just watching the Office. You guys need to chill, ha ha. It'll be fine.

As long as your sister doesn't try something...

Uh...

Wow. It seems that this whole situation getting a little out of hand. Clearly, the situation of Jam's life isn't clear. She's not the kind of irresponsible girl you are talking about. The story is a guy is going over to Jam's house to watch the Office. That's it. Her sister is even to be there! She's knows how to be responsible and things like that. Nothing is going to happen. She's not going to do anything because she is not that kind of person and neither is he. Because I know Jam, I thought I'd enlighten everyone.

Thank you.

now we're bringing the sister into this? it's getting alittle too close for comfort. I used to love that show.

Yeah it definitely is. If anyone ever in my family were to try something (My two sisters.), she would be the LAST one. Seriously.

If I had a sister I don't think I would have ever dated then in high school or after for that matter.

*I think J4N just owned this thread..

Sorry. I deleted my post. I forgot I'm not 12 anymore.

Yeah..

No, no she didn't. She just proved that we should all just stop talking about this because our point is not getting across. No one is saying you are irresponsible--we are telling you to be careful. We are giving you possibilities of what may happen out of our own experience. Since we know how painful it was for us, we are trying to prevent something like that from possibly happening to you. But you don't want to hear it because you are 14 and you know it all. All I know is that a 14 year old sitting at home with an 18 year old, maybe 2, is not an ideal situation. And if anyone is going to get hurt in this situation, it is going to be you. But you have it all under control, so there's no need to weigh in anymore.

And for the record, since JAM4NEVER specifically quoted me, it is pretty clear what I said. Both of you try rereading it. If anything happens, it will be because you let it happen. You wanted it to happen so he is absolved on responsibility. That's what I said.

Do what you want, but don't be surprised if it doesn't go exactly as you planned.

Your point is getting across. Be paranoid about guys because they will hurt you. We hate men. This guy, Old Spice, is not like that. That's my point. Let me get that across. I could go on and on about this kid. He is simply amazing. He's so sweet. Every guy is a jerk at times, sure. But this one's different. I'm not doing anything with the kid, he's not doing anything with me. We are simply watching The Office. He likes the show, I love the show. Maybe we'll have a glass of tea afterwards and just chill. Or maybe I won't even want to watch the Office, and we'll just chill. It'll be a fun night. He's not going to make it awkward, not going to bring anything. This isn't Casino Night for goodness sake. Everything is going to be fine. I'm not planning anything. I'm just going to have a carefree night with a guy who I've fallen quite hard for. Thank you very much.

No plan?

That is exactly right.

We may not know you all personally, but pretty much all J4E has been talking about for weeks is this kid. We all care, and we don't want you getting hurt. We may not be teenagers right now, but we have been there, and it hasn't been that long ago that we've forgotten. Not only that, we hear and read about statistics on what teens are doing these days, and how everyone is getting far too involved physically at younger and younger ages.

Most guys can compartmentalize physical activity and not care about the other person involved. Women generally get involved emotionally before anything physical even happens. That is why women get hurt when men who have been using them dump them.

Lastly, we really do care. We care about you and we have your best interest at heart. J4E, you have probably said more about this kid to us than you have to your parents. We all share a lot on the boards that we don't share with our family members, and it's good to get objective advice, no matter what your age. I've gotten some excellent advice concerning many of my posts, and I'm old.

Now you know why I keep telling you to focus on school for the next 10 years.

Nah not anymore. I decided to s.crew the plan. I would just improvise.

^^^read up to my last post.

Glad you ditched the plan.

That's what you got--we hate men? Be paranoid?

No, how about try to be careful because a 4 year age difference between a 14 year old girl and an 18 year old guy is more like 10 years. And we're glad you really like this guy but maybe 1% of you should be a little cautious that he is not as awesome as he seems and that might be an act to get you trust him. And that will happen when you are 14, 24 or 34 and it has nothing to do with hating men. The fact is, there are some bad people out there who will take advantage of others. You barely know this guy--him telling you his parents are divorced doesn't mean you know everything. We do hope you have a good time, but you need to be a little realistic. That's all.

!!!

I can't help myself! He's so.. Charming.. He he. I'll seriously be fine. Thanks, though. I've dealt with this cr@p before. Read my post above. It'll just be a carefree night. No confessions, , no crying, no sadness. Just laughter and smiles. (Because he likes to smile a lot.. )

Smilings my favorite