awwwwww that is just so sweet.
Love happens at any age

Definitely not! I think every mommy I know, and a whole lot at my daughter's school got married, and had babies after 30.

guess who got a call at 6:30 am today on day 6. Here's how this went down...

Nick, "hello hunny"
Me, "where the he11 have you been that you can't bother to call me for a week?"
Nick, "I've been taking care of me, for once I'm doing everything for me and if people don't like it, sorry, but I'm focused on me"
Me, "Well you must have been talking to someone else or what ever cause you haven't bothered with me in a week"
nick" No, just me, mom, dad, and my daugther and I'm going back into my place by monday, I'm feeling so much better"
me, "yeah really how are you feeling" He didn't get the double meaning behind the tone of my voice
Nick, "I'm good"
Me, "you can't call, message me you just do this?"
Nick, "I've deleted anything you've sent me over the last few weeks, I don't want to see how mad you are cause I'm getting better and I'm doing this for you"
Me, "whats this surprise"
Nick,"It's for you, for us"
Me, "have you been seeing someone else at all, have you fallen in love with anyone else, because you should just tell me"
Nick "No. Why do you ask me that? It's you. You are it and I love you. Listen to me I love you okay. Hun, you don't have to worry.
Me, " you don't act like it"
Nick, "I'm going to call you later okay, I need to go. But hunny it's always you, don't forget that okay, I love you.

I didn't get to ask him all my other questions and I'm not sure how to take that cause part of me was really still ticked off and part of me just sank into that glow of lovely dovey mushy love. But it's nice to know he's totally thinking of himself right. I know he's had a surgey and he had a bad time of it, but I'm supposed to be his finacee right? So it's nice to know that cutting me out of his life is normal. true I didn't go chase him on this but I always chase him and I get taken advantage of when I do.
I want my happy ending!

Becca, I haven't chimed in on this for a while, but I have to here. You are not going to get your happy ending with this man. The bolded parts of your post really stood out as the reasons why:

Bolded Text 1: Who the hel! calls at 6:30 a.m.?!? Every time you mention he calls, the times are always at the most insane hours possible. Your sleep patterns are majorly screwed up, mostly because he selfishly calls whenever he wants, at times that should be reserved for emergencies only. You know why? Because he doesn't want anyone else to hear that he is calling you. And he's checking on you (NOT in a good way). For someone who claims to love you, his calling at these times and destroying your rest shows a gross disregard for your health and well-being.
(Toxic relationship: 3 Good relationship: 0)

Bolded Text 2: So, he's taking care of himself, is he? And if "people" (does he mean you, or are there other folks that he has shut out of his life during this time as well) don't like it, they can go soak their heads? This is a man who ALWAYS takes care of himself, and for the past several years he's had you as a willing slave to massage him and dote on him and worship him. About the time you start to wake up from the bliss, and ask "what is in this for me, by the way?" he completely cuts you off and doesn't communicate with you? Sure, he's had surgery. I've had the same surgery. If there were someone I loved out there, there is not one single thing about said surgery that would keep me from keeping in contact with them. Sure, he isn't up to running a marathon right now, but his cutting you off seems a lot more like teaching you a lesson about questioning his hedonistic ways.
(Toxic relationship: 6 Good relationship: 0)

Bolded Text 3: He has deleted and ignored everything you sent him over the past few weeks? Really?!?!? Let me think, are these the same weeks that you had a major falling out with your mom and crashed in despair? Are they the same weeks that you suffered major problems with your back and ended up in the hospital yourself? Are they the same weeks that your pain-in-the-neck brother was there, tormenting you to the point of insanity? A casual acquaintance would have been there for you, but this man who "loves" you ignores and deletes messages from you? Of course they were increasingly hostile messages - he is a complete coward. And it seems that all he has offered you to make up for this spinelessness is this vague promise that in a few weeks he's going to do something magical for you. Oh, a promise he made in the whacko hours when his mom and daughter were asleep and couldn't overhear him. Becca, I'm sorry, but as soon as these two women get wind of the fact that he's planning something with you, they'll do something to stop it. And he'll let this happen. And you'll have a choice. Do you just take it again, for the millionth time? Or do you decide that you are so much better than this? We think you're dazzling. And it is so much better to be alone than lonely.
(Toxic relationship: 15 - or more! Good relationship: 0)

Bolded Text 4: As soon as he realizes that you aren't going to melt into a pile of goo at this craptastic phone call that he deigned to give you, he scuttles away again, to continue hiding at his mother's house. The conversation was getting out of his control, so he ended it. Sure, you might hear from him again today, after everyone else is out of the house. Or you might not. You aren't a person he feels an obligation to keep promises with. He just expects you to be there, whenever he snaps his fingers.
(Toxic relationship: 20 - at least! Good relationship: 0)


I'm so sorry to say this, but unless he gets a brain replacement surgery, I can't see that he'll ever value you the way you deserve. Sammy said it so well a few days ago - he gives you THINGS because that is a lot easier than giving of himself. In these times of trouble - for you and him - he completely abandoned you. The only blessing is that you never had children with this man, because then you wouldn't have the freedom to move on without looking back. There is nothing tying you to him but your love - which was very real, and some memories of plans you two were supposed to be making together.

Over the past few weeks, you have proven yourself to be so strong - looking for jobs, not chasing after him. You have the incredible power now that you know you can survive without him.

And I'm sorry about this long post - I've been trying to stop being the Queen of Meddlers, but your post just put me over the edge. The man is a menace, and he's hurting someone I consider a friend - and, in the words of Veebs, OH, MB, Sammy, and everyone else here, you deserve better!

Exactly. The deleted email thing is just weird. He so wants control over the situation. Anything that isn't pleasant gets deleted. Yikes.

lizzie please, just walk away.

I know, you love him, he was your best friend at a point in time, and you have the fear that you won't find the connection that you have/had with him with anyone else, but YOU WILL! Seriously, there are a billion guys out there. Trust me, I went through a very similar situation...Don't waste anymore time!

I'm sorry if it seems harsh, but it's the brutal honesty I wish someone had just given me when I was going through my breakup.

Yay, minki - you are the perfect voice of experience here! A better job... House-hunting... Free of all that ridiculous dead weight that was your previous boyfiend (a typo, but I'm keeping it!).

We're all so glad you're doing so well!

I really don't think I would have been able to do it if I didn't have you guys to talk me through it! I just hope she will listen...Don't get me wrong, I'm do get very lonely now being single. But it doesn't even come close to the loneliness I felt when I was in my relationship, alone.

boyfiend, hah! I like it

Yeah, but I am - way over 30.


True.
It's always been all about him. You need to tell him to Kiss This.

I told my friend the whole conversation at the pizza place and she was all, why? Why does he think he can get away with it? Why? Cause I let him. It's my fault I know and He like me doesn't like not being in charge.

WOS, I don't think you are meddling by the way. Anyone is free to post their thoughts on this, cause I said, I get mad stay mad but there is a small part of me that falls to pieces for him even in this state of anger.
I told my friend I don't care if I sent him a novel of heated emails, texts or letters, he's supposed to be my rock, my guy ya know and he deleted it cause he didn't want to fight with me. Now that only leaves me more mad and like I can't trust him, but he doesn't see it, cause it's what he thinks is best. I fell in love with him cause he was so amazing about understanding me and not judging me and was there. And now it's a mess. He said he deleted his accounts, like face book and stuff cause he saw my angry message and because of his accounts he didn't want it cause any more friction, I think he deleted those and made new ones I don't know about and I'm sick of it.
I've put more into this man than I did myself at times and for me after 2 weeks I just had that feeling he's the one. Now, it's he's the one jerking me around. I'm totally faithful to this man, I think of him always and I wear his grandmothers cameo on a chain everyday cause I can't believe he'd give some thing that meant so much to him to me. I'm just really glad I can get this all out to you guys and you just say what you think and feel.
Ive never asked for a great career, or fancy house or material things in life. My wish, my only wish is just to be happy. And everyone wants that, but I seriously would give everything else up just to be happy.
now do I think he'll call again at some early hour..possibly. Do I think he's really checking up on me to make sure i'm home. No. I think he does it cause that's how we've always been calling at all hours of the day or night.

Im looking the fool on this.

Becca, I can't say anything any better than WOS said it, but I can say this. What is this "for once" bu11shit? And isn't his mommy taking care of him? I know you love him and I know you want your happy ending, but tell him not to call you again until Dec 1. Give yourselves six months to find out what you want out of life and I bet that on Dec 1 you will realize you have your happy ending without him, his crazy a$$ mother and his teenage daughter.

He deletes your texts/messages/whatever? That is rude, disrespectful, condesecending, and controlling. Becca, YOU DON'T NEED HIM! You are doing great on your own so far. Who cares what his big plan is? His big plan should have been to have you at his surgery and to tell his family that he loves you and wants to be with you.

Ship the cameo back and walk away for six months. See how you feel then.

And seriously, give us his e-mail address so we can talk to him.

wedd^^ I told him that all of you think he's a jerk( I put it kindly ) he wasn't happy about it.

He's doing his thing I'm doing mine and that's how it is. I've been doing it. I don't know what else can be said about it ya know.

Everything WOS said should be embedded in stone and sent to him. Or hit him over the head with

My MIL had knee surgery, she was in rehab hospital for 5 days and was walking around on the SAME day of surgery, and they kept getting her up walking. She did alot better than I thought. I think he is totally loving the attention from his mom. Now there is nothing wrong w/that but........BUT she is his mother, not his wife.

He is throwing you any and all excuses to keep you on the hook, b/c it keeps HIS world as normal as can be for HIM, and no one else.

Send him this tee-shirt

Oh, honey, this post just makes me so sad - you absolutely deserve every sort of happiness. When things were good with Nick, you were happy. However, everything is changed, and I can't for the life of me remember the last time I read a post of yours that talked of a single good moment with this man. It's been months, at least, and your posts sound more miserable by the day, and in this one, you're blaming yourself for his garbage behavior, and thinking you look like a fool.

You just look like a woman who loves a man who has become unlovable. Your pleas to him during the call today are heart-rending - asking if he's fallen in love with someone else. It strikes me that you are looking for an excuse like this because it would finally let you walk away. Instead, he keeps singing the same old sick song. "He loves you. He wants you. He just needs you to________."

No. HE NEEDS TO _________ (fill in the blank here: **** or get off the pot. Pull his head out of his rear. Stop being a mama's boy. Be a real parent to his daughter. Love you and commit to you. Tell his family where to get off if they don't accept you.) So far, he hasn't done one single thing he needed to. Instead, he's run away (I know how his little disappearing act left you - it was the lowest of the low). He's left you hanging for days - heck, WEEKS - at a time with no contact. You are left begging for scraps of information from his hostile family to even find out if he's made it through surgery. Why? Because they "HID" his cellphone? Becca, if this were a TV show, you wouldn't believe that a character would even attempt these pathetic, weak excuses that he is offering up to you.

And I'm sorry - the calling thing at any and all hours is really, really sick and controlling. He calls you, you wake up and talk to him. You call him at the same weird hours, and the vast majority of the time, you are frustrated because he doesn't take your calls. He has gotten you so accustomed to his control-freak ways, that you just accept it. When is the last time he called you when his mom was in the room? His daughter? He's sneaking around more than any man I've ever known who is cheating on his wife - and any mistress I've ever known has demanded more accountability from their man than you ever get from Nick.

Becca, dear girl, all we want for you is to be happy. You have no idea now, but you actually - for the first time ever with Nick - have the upper hand. Think of the ten things you require to have happiness in a relationship. Make a list - and when he bothers to call you again, instead of pleading with him to explain his inability to communicate with you, be strong and tell him just what he has to do (and even give him a timeline to do it) if he thinks he is going to be with you. I mean, be as literal as insisting that he set up a meeting with his parents, daughter, and you, in which he stands next to you and tells them that you are his choice and he is building a life with you. Give him windows of when to call you - and don't answer the phone outside of these (that way, he can't keep hiding his conversations with you from the rest of his family). If a call shows that he isn't following through on the "Becca Happiness List," you be the one to end it on your terms.

If he can't do this - and I'm telling you this is basic, easy stuff for a person who really wants to be in a relationship - then he has no interest in your goal of a happy life. And Wedd is right - take off that cameo and send it back to him to show him that you are deadly serious about this. He has gotten very used to treating you like you are disposable, and then using his charm to pull you back in whenever he wants. You are going to have to be very strong and NOT pursue him at all. It is your turn to be pursued - if you can't stand up to him now, when you've prepared yourself to end it with him, you never will, and he'll treat you badly forever.

By now, his stupid knee is absolutely healed enough to jump through every hoop you put up in front of him.



Frankly, I think Wedd has the right idea here. If you could manage to do this, I think you would have a much faster and smoother road to happiness!




OH, this is awesome! My only suggestion is that you keep this T-shirt for yourself, and get one made up for him that says "It's all about BECCA, dammit!"

He is forty fricking years old!!!!!!! When is he gonna grow up and be a responsible adult?

Im going to try to go to bed early tonight and I'm sleeping all day tomorrow as much as I can and I'm not running through hopes.
My ex got this way as well. His family became more important over my own feelings and that lead me a massive depression. I see it with Nick. His family comes first. And I know his daugther is #1 so I can't say much about that, but it's crap isn't it? You knwo it, heck even I know it!
I am going to do a what makes me happy list tonight cause I'm still ticked off. He's doing to me now what my ex did. And really I'm done. I dont even know how to explain everything that I'm thinking or feeling. It could be finally that he's always let his mother and exs control him and now he's turned the tables on me. Who runs but I couldn't give a monkeys a$$. I'm becca not a emotional experiment.

Does that shirt also come with a mirror? The words mean nothing if he can't look at himself and think it at the same time.

They can print it upside down.

I know I've harped on about the kid thing Becca, but his responsibilities there shouldn't stop him from doing the things he can do to have a successful relationship with you. Sure it makes it more complicated, but not impossible. Please know I'm wishing you the best through all this.

^^ thanks mixed. It's a double standard. He said he would never date me if I had a kid cause he doesn't want that. But I've stuck with him and he's got a kid and yes it's hard, so hard, cause I can see where you would be torn between always being there for your child and wanting to be there for your spouse or partner. But you have to learn how to divide that up and sometimes feelings do get hurt and burised and it seems it's always mine that do.
No calls from him and I don't expect any.

Oh, Becca, sometimes I feel as if we are ganging up on you, but I just want you to know that we want you to be happy. I forgot about that double standard thing, and that makes me angrier.

Thought: Do you think that he erased all the messages and deleted the pages because he thinks you told us how to find him and we would be after him?

wedd it's possible he knows that the number of women who want to strangle him has made him go into hiding.
I don't think of it as ganging up on me, more as forming a group of well imformed and highly skilled women in the ways of torture to bring one man to his knees if he were ever to show his face

I've got gotten off the phone with my friend, I don't want to put this in the girls thread, cause she's is now just looking for anyman to hooks up with at her job and she's ticked at me cause I told her if you go through life with your expecations so high everything you do will be a disappointment if it doesn't live up to the vision in your mind. She went so quiet on me it was scary. I then told her you need to let go some of that you are carrying around. And she said yeah maybe but I just want everything to be so perfect. I told her, nothing in life is. And your perception of perfect could be different that the other persons so even still it won't be perect. She wanted to hang up 10 mins after that.

My guy friend is seriously confusing me. Just this past Saturday there was a Eurofest. While we both said we were going, we never talked to the point in that we would meet up with our respected group of friends. My friends & I arrive much later than him & shortly after, we decide that we'll leave since it wasn't that great. Also, I texted him when I arrived & since he never got back to me, I figured that he was busy. Plus I couldn't find him. Well, just as we're leaving I spot him in the beer garden. I text him, saying I think I see him. I wait for a response but since I heard nothing we decided to head out.

Thirty minutes I get a call from him. I answer & say I left. He freaks out, asking why I left & why I didn't say hi. I explained my case & he finally said fine, I'll call you later.

After I catch him on msn & aplogize. He says he's sad that I didn't say hi & more. He said he wanted to hang out & he said we could've taken pics together & danced. That went on for some time. Than I said can I make it up to you. He said I could start by making sweet comments on his pics on facebook from the fest. I jokingly said can I give you a kiss & he said yes. The plan is a quick peck with no tongue. Well, that's the plan unless I suddenly like the kiss like in the movies . Than he said I owe him more favours based on what he wants. It better be nothing sexual. Sure he's charming & cute but I'm not one to put out. We'll see what he says.

If anything happens, I'll write my update here.

I would like to announce here and now that I've seen something on line that I decided to check about the brit and I've caught him in a lie and that's the straw that's broke the camels back. If I get him or he calls me...it's flat out done. That's all I will say about it til I chill out

Oh dear Becca. I can't say I'm surprised that he's done this, but I'm sorry that he's hurt you.

Becca, I am so sorry. Sorry you have had to undergo unnecessary pain that you do/did not deserve. Everyone here is here to listen and support you, please remember that.

Oh, becca, I'm so sorry. Is it possible he put whatever it was there to set you up--to see if you were checking up on him? And when is this three weeks up--about a week and a half from now?

I called him. I got the voice mail. I left a horrible horrible 4 min 37 sec rant and told him where the hell does he get off after I've waited for him through all his crap and I got this...nothing. All his crap is going in a box and going back to him and I give up. He lied, he flat out lied to me. All the preachy bull he gave me and he's doing that to me! I fell asleep after my very heated voice mail message. He lied! I'm not sure what I'll do next. I think I'd like to go to my brothers in missouri for a couple of weeks in july. I want a fun new job and I want to change everything about myself now. I don't want to see this becca anymore. Because this becca looks like a giant fool

Becca, how serious is this lie to get you so upset? Not that lying is okay in any form, and yes, I am being nosy, but this is obviously big.

And I don't think you need to change everything about yourself. I think you need to concentrate on yourself and you will find that you are just fine.

Becca..this isn't your fault. You're not a fool. He's an ass. Don't blame yourself for anything. He did it, not you.

well he told me the last time we talked since I was pissed at him for having a profile on a certain site and having ****y girls as his friend and his relationship status is blank I gave him crap about that. he turned around and said I deleted it cause if I knew it was going to cause this much trouble I wouldn't have one. First of all, I didn't know he had one til I stumbled on it by accident! So he hid that from me and today I got curious and I looked to see if it was gone or up. It's up with all new pics and a new girl on his list of friends. You may think it's kinda stupid but why lie about having a profile on a site and then lie about taking it down? Why cause he's a liar! And after I speak to him on the phone an do what I need to do there will be a wrath of bad karma on him so bad that no doctor will be able to stitch his a$$ back together!

Becca, he lied because he wanted to keep his normal life the same for him, so he wouldnt have any change unless he made the change. I see a trend here

I got upset reading your past posts about him that i was teary eyed because you are a beautiful fun caring person. You do not need to change yourself at ALL! Its ok to want a change of pace or environment to get a fresh start or to cleanse yourself. Maybe that will happen if you go away for a few weeks, but there is no need to change yourself. Be yourself, be what you want to be and DO what you want to do.


If i had his address, I would 100% send him this and I am sure many other members would too. And it would be SO worth the money. Sure it wouldnt cure him but it would make a point to him.


Becca you need big hugs, some sunshine and some easy going time to yourself and I hope you get it soon.

^^ OH you made me cry! Poop in a box is perfect

I'm going on vaction next weekend. My friend depsite the awfulness that is her driving we're going away for the weekend...beach again. I'm going to lay on warm sands and breathe. and make a voodoo doll in his likeness

Just because he's an ass doesn't mean you're a fool FNB.

Go take that vacation, get that great new job, and when you ultimately meet him, enjoy your Fancy New Boyfriend, and the kind of relationship you deserve.

Talking to my friend on line as well she wants to rip him a new one. I want to crush his head like a tiny little bug.

I just need to vent this okay..I'm so ticked and overly emotional because my dad the brillant jerk he was used to get in my face and tell me no one will ever love you, you're nothing but a problem and no one wants you around. Nick knew all this and knew I wanted total honesty about his feelings so if he wanted out he'd tell me so I'd know and it wouldn't hurt as much. So now, he lied and he's all I love you and I want you. And it's my fault for hanging on so long, but I really believed him when he said he loved me for me. Now, I feel like that 11 yr old girl again whos being told by the one person who's supposed to love me uncondtionally that I'm not good enough and no one really does love me. I hate him so much right now. I know people love me, but I think you understand what I mean. I don't know what to do with myself. I loathe him

That does makes sense that you'd react that way Becca. Just keep telling yourself it isn't true, and we'll keep telling you the same as well.

Well, I think a little time away will help you - it will help you feel a bit refreshed and help you gain perspective on things. A fun new job sounds great, but everyone is right - you don't need to change everything about yourself, just because he's an a$$hole idiot. You are smart and funny and caring - you are a wonderful person and we love you. You are Fancy New Becca and you have a whole world how fabulous possibilities ahead of you.

And where can I send that poo?

hey everyone..i talked to my best girlfriend and she booked a hotel for next wed and thursday. I'm notsure if I can go to the beach now cause my mom is ill and if she's still ill I can't go. We talked and she's ready to stomp on him. The music video station played these song in order which made us laugh. patsy cline, crazy. Hank williams sr. I can't help if I'm still in love with you. Guns & roses, patience

I'm not so angry anymore, infact I'm looking for jobs in the mall. And I don't think he'll call me anyway today. Makes me wonder fi I should have listened to my crazy guy friend who said Nick wasn't good enough for me. I don't know, I want to hear what Nick has to say for himself. maybe he's not in love with me anymore, part of me will always be in love with him I just can't be treated like nothing anymore.

Just address all poo packages to A$$hole with gimpy leg and accent...it will find its way

!!! Oh Becca--I hope your mom gets better so you can go. You deserve a break. Hang in there!

LMAO!

Duct tape works well for poo packages.

I went to bed at 1 last night and slept great. We'll see about the beach...depends on what tests say an how she feels.

I left him a message on his facebook, since he didn't call me and I tried to call him and got the voice mail. I simply stated you broke my heart.

today is a new day right?

I want my stuff I gave him back

What stuff? Only if it's good stuff. And make sure you tell him you have stuff to give to him, only give him a box of poo.

My hello kitty christmas decoration, all the letters, cards I gave him. The piglet stuffed animal I gave him. He gave me pooh bear I gave him piglet, all the pictures. I want the book of all the emails he saved. yeah he was mushy at one point. He saved all my emails, my love letters to him when he wasn't around. the few bits of clothes..I want it all basically. He shouldn't have anything left to remind him of me.

Well, the Hello Kitty decorations, you definitely must get back. Maybe burn the rest?

oh my God, he keeps adding people to his facebook. So I'm ticked and I decided to ring his phone and he picked up! Guess what happened. I got it half out and he interupted me and kept turning the conversation on him. I said I have things I want to say and he said that's all our converations are nothing but questions when we could be talking sensibly but go ahead and ask your questions. WOW. I felt so small. He said all I want to talk about is the getting the final okay from my doctor for something. I didn't. I got all upset,more with myself that I didn't just do it. And I stood there all quiet on the phone. He said that he had things he wanted to do and is just in a bad mood and all he cares about is he knee. His words.....Doctor told me that I did more damage than they thought. I've had this thing done basically twice and if I F it up again I could end up losing the use of that leg. I chose my leg so if that means ignoring everyone then that's what I'll do to get better.
Again I just stood there quiet. What is wrong with me??
Why do I feel even nervous about trying to call him again. I messed up badly didn't I?

You didn't mess up FNB. Sometimes there just nothing you can say.

^^^
Exactly.

------------
In regards to his call, I dont get him at all. All relationships(married or not) have questions, hell even after being married 18 years here, there are still questions that have to be asked and answered for the relationship to continue or be of value. It is a two way street and it seems that the Brit does not want to bother with being a partner at all or if ever. Now I understand how he realizes that his knee problems are important. BUT...millions of people in this world in relationships have health problems and do not keep their partner out of the loop as he is doing and has been doing to you. That is just being selfish and inconsiderate, IMO.

And NO you did not mess up at all Becca. You wanted to find out things and that is ok, but yet again he interupts you with his needs, his demands without thinking about anything you had just said. Again selfish!

I think you need to 100% be selfish yourself and concentrate on you for a change. I know you have to help your mom, as a caring person would, which is what you are. But you can take control of your life. You said you starting looking for a job at the mall, that is great start! You would be able to meet new people at the job and meet people who are customers. I hope you really keep pursuing looking for a job there. You have a fun and bubbly personality.

Again Becca its not you, never was, it was him. Hugs to you Becca!

Becca, I'm so sorry about everything I've been reading today.

You're not the fool. You've done things that a faithful partner would do, and should be able to expect him to do as well. But he's thinking only of himself, and he even admits it. That's a dealbreaker. You know that now.

I hope your mom is feeling better and I hope you get that vacation, Becca. You deserve it.

Becca, you didn't do anything wrong. And yeah, it would suck if he lost use of his leg, but you know what? Why bring that up when you are trying to talk to him?

I know it is hard, but stop checking his Facebook account, because it will just annoy you more. He has time to sit and add people but not to have a serious this-may-be-it conversation with you? Just let it go and don't blame yourself.

I had talked to my friend and I told her once he started getting all pi$$y I just lost all focus.

Would you believe he called me later. Not much was said cause we went round and round over the facebook and he asked me a few questions about it and I told him and he gave me the excuse that he delete it. I still don't believe that. He also asked me if I go the cash he'd put in my account. I said no. He said no your right, if you got it first thing you would say is thank you, you always do. He huffed and thinks Ms.thang who was supposed to do the cash in the bank for me may have took it.

I started in about how still none of this is working and I've done nothing but support you and always put you first. I want to be first and I have been making me first since you've not talked to me for days at a time. He asked me are you talking to anyone. Meaning am I messing around on him. I said no. I've not done anything wrong. Even with this...I've been faithful despite being nearly single.
He rambled on about how he is being faithful to me and that it's messed up. I tried to but in but he kept saying I'm tired now I want to go sleep for awhile. So he did.

why does this remind me of the seinfeld where it doesn't take the first time and it took multiple times to get it over with

He gave the teenage girl money for you and it didn't get to you? What a shock. And then he decided he was too tired to talk and went to sleep?

I know someone here (sammy or WOS, I think) said that he tries to control you with material things, and putting cash in your account is definitely along those lines.

It's obvious that you love him and that there is a part of you that thinks you can make this work, but he is not even letting you get that far in the conversation. Take that as a sign and stop. If he's not going to listen, then don't speak.

I don't know, it seems to me as if you are torturing yourself with these phone calls and attempts that he seems to not be interested in. Maybe you should write him a long letter, get it all out that way since he won't let you speak, and send that and the cameo back to him and don't take his calls until after he receives it and is willing to dedicate an extended period of time to discussing what you need to discuss. And maybe after getting all out on paper and seeing it in writing, maybe that alone will be the closure you need. Because these phone calls and arguments over Facebook aren't working for either of you.

I want the face to face to talk wedd, but I can't. Not because I'm too scared to do it but he'll use the knee thing against me.
Of course I will always love him. That i know, I won't lie. I'm not trying to make it easy for him or let things slide. I need to not look at that facebook thing anymore and as far as his teenage daughter, well I've been thinking she's been up to no good for awhile. I know some people may have found my views on her harsh but I think she's been trying to put a stop to the relationship ever since he told her that he wanted to marry me.

But I'm still going on with my own plans...I found a sweet little job opening in the mall. I need to put a new resume together and email that over tomorrow