Awww why can't there be more guys like you Scotty . I'm willing to pay big bucks to clone you though .

Mike is acting off yet again. This past tuesday, we were talking about the bday party last week that our mutual friend had, mainly about how drunk Mike was . Normally it takes him some time to reply to me, but he responded to me right away, & in more than one word. Than he brought up this girl who came at the end of the night & asked me if I talked to her. I said no, but I commented that she was pretty & that seemed nice. He said yea & did a smiley face emoticon. Than I sincerly said how I thought they would be cute together, & he became quiet. I dunno why. Maybe he thought I still like him & that I was being sarcastic. Anyway, we didn't talk since then. I'm confused as to why he become quiet, as I said nothing wrong. I dunno, maybe he likes her or maybe they are dating & he wanted to be quiet. Either way, doesn't matter cause I moved on .

No silly, because he still likes you. Unfortunately, he wants all the girls to like him.

Hot off the press... Taryn might move down here sooner than expected... And maybe even live with me. We've got a while to decide, and we're talking things out to figure out the best plan. More updates to follow.

Yeah, but when I flat out asked him if he liked me about over a week ago, his answers was that he likes being friends, which is pretty much the same answer he gave my friend 3 months ago when she asked him. He also added that he likes being friends with all girls, because he doesn't know what he wants in a relationship. I dunno, I gave him the oppurtunity to say that he has feelings for me, & he took the just friends approach. Maybe I'm missing out on something.

And about the girls thing, that's totally true. He loves the attention of any girl, & his friends have said what a ladies man he is.

I forgot to add that I was talking to our mutual friend on msn, & our mutual friend told Mike that I texted him & Mike added how my friend & I invited him over yesterday. It made me wonder just what they share. Also, I talked to Mike on msn & mentioned how me & my friend invited him over & he said yeah I really wanted to come over & made a sad face (he couldn't come because he had a bday party for a family friend). Than I said next time my family is out & my friend & I have the place to ourselves, I said he can come over & he's like yeah I hope so, meaning he only wants to come over when my family is gone. Interesting .

I hate to ask this, but what does the ex think of this? Is he still in the picture?

I am royally screwed. Recently I tried to set up one of my best friends with this Greek guy I know, because she thought he was cute. She messages him on FB & hears nothing. So I'm on FB today, & I get an FB IM from him. He said to me that he thinks I'm cute & that he's interested in me & wants to go out. I said that I'm not really sure about that because my friend likes him & also, because I'm still kinda hung up on Mike. He told me to forget about the guy & go with him. I was totally shocked, & was never expecting to hear that at all. This is not good!

*eta* OMG that Greek guy has a gf! Apparently he's a big cheater & his gf was at the bday party for the mutual friend. Disgusting.

I am taking myself off the market. Ive learned this weekend that I can count on no man

Ummm, wow, that is fast. Before the baby comes or what?


Not true, there's still scotty. And Darth. And Diapers. Am I forgetting anyone?

^^ scotty is taken and smitten. Darth and diapers are hardly around.

I just want a man who actually means it when they say I'm going to be around

Honey, don't we all.

Yep, sorry ladies. I'm taken.


Yeah, the dad's still in the picture kind of, and we know he doesn't want her to move. We found out a few things about what the situation would be depending on when she moved down here. If she moves before the baby's born, the father can't do anything about where she lives, but if she tries to move after the baby's born, the father does get a say in it. If he would just step on a landmine we wouldn't have to worry about any of this!

^^ Scotty you shouldn't say anything like that. Remember it takes 2 to tango. Just be there for her and as much as you want to be with her and love her. Now, she can ask him to sign away his rights and then she can do as she pleases, but he's still the father and from now on..the baby comes first. I've learned that lesson the hard way scotty. The childern always come first.

I got ahold of the new guy afterall. He, his friend and his friends brother went out drinking an now he's suffering big time. His friend reassured me that the new guy talks about me a lot and dont be upset with him and work through it. Kinda nice I thought. Still, I'm not setting my hopes on anything yet

aww scotty! I can just hear you now!
I am so excited for you!!

Now for some um well I think I need advice. There is this guy ( 4 years younger than me) and well we have always had this spark and connection, and he is an awesome friend. I think he likes me more than that and I am starting to think maybe tha would not be to bad.... and yet I don't want to ruin anything, or get rid of my independence. Sigh what to do?

^^^


No no no no no! 4 years is a biiiiiiig difference when we are in our early 20's Pam, especially when the woman is older. I suppose it wouldn't be as big a deal if the man was the older one.

I just went through this with a guy 3 years younger than me and that was a biiiiiiiiiig mistake. The maturity level just isn't there...at least it wasn't for him. Plus generally you're in a different place in your life than a guy so much younger than you. I mean...this is just my opinions from my relationship, but you're free to explore if you think it could go somewhere.

^^ That's not always true. I know plenty of older guys who lack depth in maturity, & I know plenty of younger guys who are pleasent to be around. I don't think relationships should be dictated by age, but by the level of connection, trust & how you feel with the person. I know 19 year old guys worth dating, & I know 26 year olds worth dating. While the age may show, well how old a guy is, it doesn't always show his personality. Follow your heart, not what it reads on his birth certificate.

I wouldn't hesitate a second to date a guy 4 years younger than me if I were in my late twenties, or older. I think 4 years is a bigger difference the younger you are.

I'm pretty sure I didn't imply it was always true. Like I said, I experienced it and hence shared my own experience. I'm 23 and am somewhat (stressing the somewhat) marriage-minded at the moment. I can't see myself dating a 19 year old man who is ready for that, nor do I want to invest the time it would take for that to happen. I know tons of pleasant young guys to be around, but they aren't ready for what I am ready for.



Agreed.

My daughter is probably about the same age as Pam Halpert, and I couldn't agree more. She's dating someone a few years younger and I don't think it's healthy at this stage of her life for a couple of reasons. The comparative maturity level is a big problem, and she's not going to find the stability she needs in someone who is just starting his freshman year in college. Odds are that someone is going to get hurt badly, and it will probably be her.

You're right, & I guess I should've chosen my words more carefully. That's very true though, about the younger guys wanting different things. I guess it all depends on what we're looking for, & who can give it to us. It's definitely true though about 19 year old men not being ready for marriage. Few are, but I have yet to find them . The older guys definitely have that on them. The majority of older guys know what they want, with the exception of Mike .

some men never mature

I talked to peter again today. We have got such a great friendship going on now. we can talk about each others relationships, joke and it's totally comfortable. There was no real flirting, but we got a spark, but it's not even sexual.

Brit....no communicating or seeing me since what now, friday or thursday. stupid.

New guy...talks about long term and ina few months if it's going well maybe try living together. A few months being after the new year so thats like right at the 6 month line.

I concur. It may be a ball in the beginning, but when you start planning on your future there will be some serious resistance. My prediction would be that the gal would starting trying to mold the guy into what she believes a man is, and the guy would rebel. The older you are the less likely this scenario would occur.

Some of you may remember this post from July about a woman we know who passed away unexpectedly. Yesterday, the local newspaper came out with her picture and this printed under it. It's from her husband:

First birthday that we are not together in 28 years. Thanks for the best 28 years of my life. I'll love you forever and a day.



I guess in the end that is what we are all really looking for--someone to miss us when we are gone.

I understand what you're saying, but I'd rather have someone miss me while I'm still here.

Well, yeah, that too, of course. This was very unexpected of this man, which made it even sadder.

just another reason to tell the person you are with that you love them.

^^^Exactly, Becca.

In my family, when I was growing up, we never said we loved each other, never hugged, barely even touched. Now, I hug my parents several times a day (at the very least, good morning and good night), and tell them I love them. I sometimes say it to my brother and sister, too, and all my aunts. It's awkward at first, but it gets easier, because it reminds you how much you really do love them.

Assuming, of course, that you do.

I started making my boys give me a hug when they left for school in the morning when they started high school. It was awkward at first, you're right, but then it became second nature.
One of them called the other night just to tell me something real quick, and ended with "Love you mom." At first I thought, oh no, what's wrong now? Then I thought yeah, we should be saying that more often.

Well this is true, I am in a different place in my life. I am actually looking for a full time job. exploring may be an option. I mean the man is not going anywhere, we can always see how he matures.




Yeah that is him. He is 18 going on 27. He is more mature than any of the boys my age, he already hold a full time job. He is already thinking about his future and finaces and family....

I just know that when I talk with him, he is smarter and more mature than other other guy I have met.




This is true... I have always been of the philosophy that age does not matter once you hit a certian age.




Ah you see he only wants to invest in a commited relationship.. he said he will only dat eif her know that the relationship could last for a while.... about the M word... I can not even think it let alone say it yet...

Shivers





Advice taken! I shall look very hard before I leap!





Who said anything about Marriage... you see I think I am having this problem with not wanting to be married anytime soon and yet all my classmates and friends are married... YIKES




AMEN SISTER!!!! Lward I could go on for miles.....



Mold a man? hevans no, I would never try such a thing... it can not be done, plus I need a man who can give me a whole day to myself...so I kinda like the I see you in a couple of days honey... ( I swear I do not even think I am ready to date.. I feel like I would be in a cage.. I need to fly free.





that is so sad... I am now going to go crawl in the corner and cry... just for a little.

Wedd, that's so touching.




My daughter has become more openly affectionate with me in the last couple of years. I'm not sure how or when it started, but I'll take it She almost always hugs and kisses me goodbye, and tells me she loves me on the phone. It's a far cry from when she was a teenager.

And to stay on topic....I'm still single.

I've tried to get closer to my mom and I can't it work ever work. Shes so twisted inside.

Nick called me. it was so early and I was so tired I didnt' think twice and just answered. blah blah blah we will see what happens and take everything slow, have to give it a shot. I'm serious about you I'll call you later. all day....nothing.
Everyone big time annoucement. I don't feel it for the brit like I used to. Of course I will always love him as my first love, but that spark is missing. I've got lots of warm fuzzies for this new guy.

Becca, when are you going to take control and tell the brit to eff off???? What an ass. Nick the dick.

As for your mom, well her strokes may have something to do with that, and also, some people just don't know how to get close and be affectionate. My mom started giving us hugs after I was in college (and I'm the youngest) because she read in Reader's Digest that a hug every day was good for your child's emotional well being.



That's sad. But love is a verb, a commitment, not a feeling.

I have! We are totally in love. I'm driving up to Iowa to see her right now.

Keep both hands on the wheel please

drive safe and have a great time

Again, I thought he was moving?! How can you give it a shot if he is leaving town? Or does he think you will just go with him? What an ass.

Yeah well his game is very clear to me. I left him a email, telling him that you are just better off as you are, cause this what you are doing now...it's not working and I wont spend another 4 yrs. doing this again.

I don't want to be with him, cause he treats me like a lap dog.

Good for you FNB.

Good for you!!

And seriously, I hope you don't feel as if I am being too mean to you. I'm not trying to be. I just want what is best for you.

oh jesus wedd nah I dont think that. I just dont think I should give up my early 30's to a man who thinks committing is a part time choice

Good for you, Becca. Keep moving forward.

how long do you think it's gonna take before all his toxic junk leaves my life?

Maybe this will help.

A lot of it has left already--it's almost done. Hang in there!!

I'm starting my detox

I'll do the detox too - after all the pizza is gone.

OK....my offer to come have you come and sit on my lap for a while is now withdrawn....

Now, Canada may be a nice change of pace for becca-don't withdraw the offer so quickly!

ohhhhh jazz wants me to sit on his lap. What is that code for in canada jazz?

I've spent 2 hrs and 37 mins on the phone with my best friend listening to her cry over a man she says she's in love with but he doesnt know she is. He might move outta state cause his ex wife might move and he wants to stay close to his kids