We can always pretend like he doesn't have a name...

Yeah, you could, but that's not as fun!

I'm just not nearly as artistically talented as you.

I promise that I will teach you how to decorate cupcakes. I actually just got an amazing new cupcake book...

I have infiltrated the dating thread with cupcake talk. Oops. I will totally send you the link if you get on Skype or something.

new guy and I had a fight. He thinks I was yelling at him. I wasn't mad over something else. He took it the wrong way. but things got worse after that. He's now thinking things over and he may break up with me today. He said I could call him later. But he's gotta think. I talked to pete after an he was really nice gave me some decent advice but I have a bad feeling about this

Becca, relax and tell him why you were really yelling. Then try to work it out.

we're talking He said we can try to work things out and I have to get my anger in check and stuff. he still doesnt get I wasn't yelling at him

You need to focus all that anger on the brit, and take everything out on him instead of new guy.

I was yelling about the makers of the web cam I was setting up. And i guess that my swears flowed like poetry in such a way that he forgot who I was talking about or didn't get it at all But he said there is never a reason to get mad about anything. And I am so not like that. I get mad, rant and scream and then I'm so much better.
He's really different personality wise, we don't always mesh that way

Umm, that's kind of naive. So, if somebody killed his dog, he wouldn't get mad?????

Why is it so bloody impossible to get over someone ? I'm trying to rid my feelings of Mikey, but I guess my heart knows something that I don't, because it's winning the battle against my head. Part of me says I have a chance, but the other part of me says I'm creating false hope. One guy that likes me said that the best way to get over Mikey is to date him (the guy) & also, he asked me how could I have feelings for someone I never dated. Lmao wtf seriously. I have never experienced what I'm going through with any other guy. And I've been in love before, so this isn't my first time either. The whole situation confuses me in ways that cannot be explained. I'd like to wake up one day & have the solution presented me, because I cannot figure it out on my own .

QUOTE (Fancy_New_Becca @ Nov 23 2008, 01:24 AM)
But he said there is never a reason to get mad about anything. And I am so not like that. I get mad, rant and scream and then I'm so much better.
Umm, that's kind of naive. So, if somebody killed his dog, he wouldn't get mad?????


see, he would. He thinks that if it's something you can't control you shouldn't get mad. But I'm all I can control everything I think he's just a snob about what to get mad about

You've answered your own question: your heart is ruling your head. Let's look at things from a different direction, but note that I do tend to look at the world on an angle slightly different from most others

Having a "one and only" is this world is a mathematical impossibility. If you have only 10 characteristics on your "he must have" list, the chances of any guy you meet having all 10 of them are 1 in 1024. Not good odds. If he has a similar list, the odds that yours and his match exactly is 1 in 1,048,576. If each of you have 20 items on the shopping list, the chances drop to 1 in 1,099,511,627,776, or more people than have ever walked the earth.

So.......you ask? Well, a "one and only " can not possibly exist. And besides, who walks around with a shopping list? The best explanation for this whole meeting and mating thing is this... there is a group, of uncertain size, of people you're compatible with. How picky you are determines the size of the group. The best thing to do is to be in situations where the kind of person you're looking for is most likely to be. After that, it's really more biochemistry than math. The term "we have such chemistry" has a basis in fact: there is research to support this. So what you're looking for is similar biochemistry; if yours and his go berserk at more or less the same time, you're off to the races.

Simple, isn't it??

^^ Jazz have I told you that I love your reasoning.

Pete is off with his girlfriend. I told him I dont see them being that serious. He just laughed. So I think he knows it too.

new guy is being ok, last night he told I should be happy and my hoildays haven't sucked in the past, I've just made up my mind they were so they did. HELLO!!! I got a light bulb the year before last from my mom. What part of that didn't suck you tell me?

Nick, popped up just to say happy turkey day and that he loves me. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

right now I'm so tired anyone could call or show up and I'd just be like yeah fine okay whatever

That's why aftershave, perfume, etc., sell so well. But you can't argue with math.

my friend has been talking to that jackass again. He wanted something otherwise he has nothing to do with her. For a woman with so much college education behind she's so dumb this way. I know I can't say much, but they didn't even have a relationship an she says she doesn't like him, and she believes in the fairytale verison of, you meet and fall in love and that's it. I think she needs to pull her nose out of a damn book and put it in having a life

Make sure you tell him all your friends hate him. Buh-bye now, brit!

Oh, that reminds me of this thread.

new guy and I are working hard at making us work, its been good but once it goes bad, it goes bad fast.

The waiter at Dennys kept looking down my shirt.

Ah, veebs. I dont wish to relive that thread.

Wow. Jazz, what you said really got me thinking. I really appreciate that you gave me such logical reasoning & advice. Thanks.

He confuses me so, so much & lately, it's been repeative. He's been ignoring me for the past while, & I decided to call him on it. He later contacted me, stating he wasn't mad on me. Than late yesterday, we got to talking on msn. His friend made one of those exclusive elf yourself vids (the ones you gotta pay for) & since Mikey was "in" the video too, he copied it & uploaded it to his FB page. He brought it up during the course of our convo, where he proceeded to say:

"u see the video yet haha so u like me to be your elf haha?"

Yes, he does talk in netspeak . But what he said about the elf threw me off. Was he joking, or was he flirting? It's hard to tell over the computer.

If all goes well. I will going away with the new guy in a matter of days This is a huge event for me

trying to figure out if a guy is flirting over a PC is like trying to crack code. I've given up and just flat out ask

Where are you going?

He's not said veebs. Kind of a surprise but I dont care, anywhere and alone is a huge deal for me.

I went alone to a movie, he's staying with a friend an he's got some possible food poisioning (details are not needed you can guess what goes on) But, when I got home and I signed on here(my cell battery died) he was on line and he IM'd me and said he waited around for to make sure I got home and had a good time. Sweet. I told him to go to bed early cause he was complaining to me about all the gross things that was happening. But, that was nice. Nick never did that really. It's why I'm looking forward to this more an more, I get that this guy...he really likes me

Awww I think that's sweet & considerate of him Becca. It's a nice feeling when someone you have feelings for checks up on you.

I forgot to add something. We were talking about this boxing day dance at the Croatian centre, & he mentioned that he was planning on going. Than I casually said that if I go, maybe we'll see each other there. Than he said, of course we will see each other. I dunno if he's ever been to a dance there, cause it's so easy to get lost in the crowd of Croats .

so he's gonna be looking for you there then pip?

New guy is sick as a dog. He's still htrowing up and running a fever. I think it's worse than food poisioning. He better go to the hospital tomorrow

It seems that way. He could make it easier for himself & just ask me to go with him .

Awww I hope he gets better soon Becca. It sounds like a bad case of the stomach flu. Yikes.

new guy and I fought. I mean fought hard but it seems okay. He went looking at my stuff on line and for some reason got ahuge bug up his butt about my facebook. He was going off about how I think my FB is more important than him and all this weird stuff and how I'm hurting him. So, I took off my relationship status and I stopped talking to him this afternoon. He later phoned me to say he was sorry and he's still not well, but wont see a doctor. I am worried about him cause he is still very sick and staying at his friends cause he's too sick to move. But, we did talk and I've agreed to give it a shot and work through this with him. But I'm not having this again, I felt like he was trying maybe to control me an I will overlook it this time but if it happens again I will know for sure something is up. It will be nick all over again.

My mom asked me the other day where the necklace you always wear. Did you give it back. Yeah that's how outta the loop I keep my mom. I said to her I dont want to talk to you about it.
But he's still trying to elbow back in. Not as heavy but still. I'm sure he'll meet someone new New Years and go off with her an then whatever. He's left me a note ...I got you alittle something. Merry christmas.
New guy said he's not bought me anything. I said well I got you a small gift, nothing expensive just something fun an cute. He said oh well I havent' really bought you anything. if I dont get a gift is that grounds to dump him?

Absolutley

thank you. And since I got the guys view point its a non snobby dump then

There is no excuse for him not getting you anything. None at all. Even if you said 'Don't get me anything' that still means he has to get you something.

see thats what I think too. Hell, if the brit manages to pony up a gift even though its whatever with him...why cant the new guy?I get the vibe that the new guy is sweet, open and truthful to the core. But, why would he treat me like that if it happens? Where as nick used to hide things, wasn't very emotionally open but he did shower me with things when he did something for me.

I need a mix of both men in one.

New guy could have bought you something awesome and is trying to hide it.

And don't accept Nick's gift. Don't even open it.

New Guy should get you something thoughtful and sweet, but not too expensive. Something too pricey would indicate he wants something in return or that he's rushing things too much. But it shouldn't be something he picked up at the last minute at the store either. It should be something he spent some time on, a gift that says 'This is a unique gift for Fancy New Becca!'.

Poor Mikey got a second degree burn on his hands three days ago . He was walking in the snow, carrying coffee & I guess the lid wasn't applied properly, cause the coffee split all over his hands. It hurts him to write or type, & his hands are wrapped up. They won't heal for a long time.

I feel so bad for him . And I found out when he messaged me on msn, stating that the reason that he hasn't returned my texts or messages is because his hands have been hurting him. I find it sweet & considerate that he let me know, instead of me assuming he just doesn't care. He's sweet like that .

ah wedd, I wish I could believe you but he is the type he means exactly what he says. it's only a day away I'll find out.

I spoke to nick again. He rang me to ask what does he think he can do next with a very bad infected tooth. He moaned and groaned and said he went to the hospital but they really didnt do anything for him other than you have a infection and looks like it's in the gum as well. His dentist is out and he can't get ahold of any due to the hoilday. I did feel bad for him. I told him you are a magnet for disease. Why turn to me??? Cause I've had bad luck dental wise I guess. He told me I was sweet and he would try what I suggested and wished me a merry christmas.

New guy how called me after a exhasuting night of shopping an we chatted for a bit and I asked about a gift and he said I hadn't got you one. He actually said. Aren't I enough? I'm not used to this type of man at all

^^^If the hospital didn't give him a prescription, he should go to another one. Or ask his mommy to help him out.

As for the new guy, you'll have to reserve your decision making until after the holiday. I find it hard to believe that he's not going to have anything for you, especially if he knows you bought him something, but if that is the case, then yeah, you may have to rethink this whole thing.

Now I think that new guy definetly got you a gift! I have no doubt. He said 'I didn't get you anything' too many times. It might be something really nice too.

It sounds like Nick is totally in love with you. But he had his chance and didn't treat you good enough.

ah yeah he is really and thats what is hard cause he knows it and knows how it ended up but he can't change anything. He asked me to call him later so while I was having lunch I did. He asked if I got a picture. I said no. He said he bought me picture and mailed it to me for xmas, cause he thought I would like it, it's beatiful. We'll see. We kinda got into it but I said I'm not fighting with you, I'd like one hoilday were we dont fight or get stroppy. he laughed and said lets not break with tridation.

New guy...insisit he's not bought me anything. I called an asked.

New guy didn't buy me a gift instead he picked a fight with me. He basically said by not telling him that I got a few of rude things on facebook and myspace I am lying to him. I think he's a bit too aggressive now really. And I don't need that. So I am going to break things off with him tomorrow. it's christmas and it's not nice to break up on xmas.

Nick called me at my uncles today. wished me merry christmas, he sounded pretty grumpy..he was already sick of xmas And was nice. I know that won't continue but it was nice to have one hoilday where we didn't fight.

What is it you're not telling him? It's a little unclear.

Veebs I've not lied to him about anything. If I get rude things, I delete them an the person. He wants to know every little thing that goes on. I dont bug him about his online stuff. I did that with Nick and it lead to a lot of fights and I don't want to do that again. This was more of a non issue. He had drank a entire bottle of wine earlier. He's got this old fashioned macho side, no one disrespects you or I'll find em and kick their butt. How stupid. Past insercuities got to him with the wine. He later gave me a tear filled long apology and a promise to not over drink anymore cause it almost made me walk away from him tonight after his fit. I didn't break up with him but I made it clear that another one of those will result in a brake up

That sucks Becca. He needs to realize that nobody can control what happens in the past. Things cannot be changed, & events cannot be removed. He has to realize that he can only dictate the future & that if he wants to be in your future, he has to accept what has happened in your life, & move on. Insecurity is one of the most unattractive traits ever & if he hangs out to what happened months ago, he can neer be in the present with you. I think in order for a relationship to work, people have to be at the same level of life. What that means is that if one person dwells on the past while another imagines the future, it'll become a challenge. The only thing that matters is the present, because it can shape the future you two will have together. Every choice that's made each day will shape what happens the next day, & so forth.

I hope that makes sense .

Get rid of new guy tommorow!!!!

I know it sounds superficial to say 'Get rid of a guy because he didn't get you a gift', but I think it's a warning sign of more problems in the future.

The 'I didn't get you anything' discussion is playful banter that couples do. But the idea is that you get something better. And by 'better' I don't mean more expensive (sometimes it is though). It can mean something more personal or more sentimental, or sometimes it is more expensive.

I think it's terrible that he didn't get you anything.

Yeah, I don't understand that at all. Aren't you worth it?

That's a good point about Becca being worth it.

Becca - Judging from your recent posts, it seems like a reunion with Nick may be forthcoming. That's fine and maybe things will work out this time. But keep Mixed's comment in mind 'Aren't you worth it?'.

Don't settle for second class treatment for Nick or any other guy! You're an attractive young lady with a wacky goofy personality (that's a compliment). Don't sell yourself short! Make sure these guys treat you well!

Yeah well I still didn't get anything from New guy. Other than my apology and promise. I had got him alittle something some hoilday candy...I ate. My whole lose weight thing went right out the window. But whatever. I know things are stressful for him cause the contract he's going after isn't kicking in yet and he doesn't want to lose it.

A far as nick. Well, it seems that things are smooth between us. Kinda weird but nice. We talked again today as well. He sounded tired and we only talked for 2 mins but the fact that it's been a every day thing now, well I dont know it kinda shows something right?? And he said now be on the look out for my gift in the mail. We'll see. All I know is that I still dont have a clear idea which one is the better of the two.

Now you've got two guys who make promises and never follow through.

Sorry becca, but it sounds more like a choice between the lesser of two evils. Why does it have to be either of them?

Becca, this sounds like you're making excuses for him for not getting you a present. Making excuses for men is a slippery slope you want to avoid!

I still think it's way out of line that he didn't get you a present.

It doesn't. Again, there is NOTHING wrong with being alone.

Don't fall for Nick's bullsh1t again. You will regret it.