NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RC, I realize you haven't been around for awhile, but go back and read this entire thread. The rest of us can't take it if Becca gets back with Nick the *****. He is sooooo not worthy of her, it's sickening.

I'll read the whole thread. Thanks for the heads up VB!

Becca, ignore that sentence of mine until I know the whole situation.

Even my old boyfriend got me a Christmas present.

perhaps I should get rid of both and date a guy more my age. Must stay away from older men

I did say I wanted a hair straightner and he's offered to buy it for me, the new guy. He said, you want it, I will buy it for you.
Not a christmas present persay but I guess thoughtful. I said no.

Oh, I didn't mean like choose between the 2 as in I have to only be with one of them. I am going to give new guy a chance, despite this whole xmas gift thing. I am. but after that, no more. Then I'll take a break from dating

Just make sure he treats you right!!

I second this. Getting back with him would be a huge mistake.

Thanks!!!


Hey at least new guy is honest, but not very creative.

I was talking to the mutual friend of Mikey & I & he (the friend) said that he hopes that Mikey goes for me. I think it's nice that he said that, as I find it important that I get along with Mikey's good friends & so far, it seems they all took a liking to me. I'd hate if they disliked me & talked about me behind my back. It kinda seems like I'm adopting a new group of friends .

New guy told me today he was sorry again for the no gift thing and said he's been caught up in his own crap and didn't realize what he said and did and said I never want to hurt you, ever. We had a nice phone call today, I was out all day so I didn't see anyone and was too tired to.
Nick and I spoke as well. Nothing major, just making sure I wasn't killing my mother, since he knows how after more than a hour together we get on each others nerves. These small considerations are so what i wish he had kept doing before he turned into jackass

I definitely think he should have given you a gift, but you know what? You are supposed to be with him and you are talking to Nick every day. Maybe new guy knows that, maybe he doesn't, but on some level I bet he knows you are not 100% with him.

oh new guy knows. He's ahd this talk with me and asked me if came back an asked you to be with him again would you? I said no. That's my past and he'll be in my life in some way, but new guy is my future. He wants to live together and we talked about marriage, but feel living together is wise first. We're not sure when that will happen, but like he said, if I think he's worth sticking with an he thinks I'm worth sticking with then there is no reason why we can't make it work.

He always was a jackass. It just took awhile for you to hear him Eee-yor.

veebs thank you for that laugh...you've cheered me up so much

Mikey called me today, except I didn't have my mobile with me so I he left a message. He basically said that we haven't talked in awhile, & that he wanted to see how I was doing. That phone message made me pretty giddy .

Good, then it was worthwhile. Anything to make you laugh.

^^ veebs you rock girlie!

I'm not spending new years with New Guy. He's working late and it's okay. Said I wasn't in the mood to party but told him to go out if he wanted. He proberly will. And no I'm not spending it with Nick either.

Wait, is he working late or going out? What generally does this guy do?

he's putting in a new heating system for someone. He wont get started til mid afternoon and promised to have it done that day so he might get home from the job til about 8 or 9. He may crash when he gets in or go out with his friends. He offered to come cuddle up with me but I said no since my house is full of people who invited themselves, just not in the mood

Ah, I see. It does sound like your house is not the place to hang our right now.

who lives nearest me?? I've got margarita mix and money for the amtrack

I'm staying single. The fight was horrible. He's even gone as far to tell me he's wished me bad karma and that he wishes I end up alone and wished me that I never have childern ever. All because he was drunk and got to looking at my FB page and disapproved of a friend I added. I won't go into detail but it was rather insulting and offensive. I've been crying in bed for about a hour and screaming at him on the phone. He of course said it's all my fault and blah blah blah. So this is my new year eve, this is how it ends. It started with major disappointments an ended the same way. I can't be trusted to find my own boyfriend anyone. I give up.

Awww, Becca, I'm sorry this happened. But you have come such a long way and have learned so much. 2009 is going to be our year, I can feel it!!

Ok, Becca. Let me tell you how all of this works, from a guys point of view.

Men initially go for looks. At least that's usually our first attraction. I know this sounds shallow and doesn't follow the path of love stories, but it's generally true. You've mentioned guys checking you out, getting notes on Facebook and Myspace and things like that. So I think you have the looks part down.

But looks only go so far. You need to have a good personality. Look at this forum, Becca. You've got friends from all walks of life - men and women, young and old. We like you. We enjoy talking to you. So clearly you also have a good personality.

So what does this all mean? It means you need to set the bar MUCH HIGHER for men. Nick and New Guy are not even close to being worthy of you. The things these guys have done are totally unacceptable. Any guy would be lucky to have you.

Don't let the New Guy upset you, it's just a small bump in the road to finding the right guy. There is definetly the right guy for you Becca and he's going to be a 100 times better then these guys are.

Don't be down about this.

thank veebs and RC.
I'm so drained I left here and blocked him an everything and he called me, he was crying oh I wont even lie...he was balling. I got mad and started shouting how dar you say such vile things to me, I got to crying then he started in almost hyerventilating on the phone, then crying I have to leave you you broke my heart then dont throw me away, but you already did. It was insane then he fell asleep on the phone, literally snoring. I just finally hung up. he was talking out his b-hind but he said some pretty crazy drunken things. Nick never did that so I didn't know how to take it. I just hope things are chilled now cause I can't do any more of it. It's too hard ya know.

Becca, I keep saying this, but you need to take a break from both guys. You need to be alone and you need to stop the connection with Nick. You need to find out what you want and what is good for you. And honestly, I think you need to get out of that house to be able to do that.

You need a change of scenery and absolute quiet time to really think about what you want. And please, don't let this send you back to Nick, because that is not the right answer either.

Becca...we've been following you and your relationship with Nick, and now your relationship with this new guy. You've shared a lot of painful things, and we've become upset and angry right along with you. You've received a lot of sound advice, and some of it you've heard multiple times.

Wedd just gave it to you again. We all understand it's probably the toughest bit of advice to follow, but it's the best thing you can do for yourself.

You need to be alone for a while.

I understand that many parts of your life feel out of control right now, especially your love life and your family life. But you can't bring other out-of-control people like Nick and the new guy into it, and expect that they're going to make your life more stable. They aren't. Only you can do that, and it's going to take some tough choices and hard work on your part to make it happen. There is no easy way around it.

I can talk about this because I had to make some of the same choices. It's lonely as heck sometimes, and there are still certain things that I wish were different. But I've found out that life can be pretty good, too, when you do the right thing, and do it as best you know how.

thanks everyone. Day one of being single and cut off for everyone. I called a friend of mine around 1:30 am last night and after a hour and ten mins it was pretty clear so yeah I'm gonna be very lonely for awhile but I guess I need to be. Just hate being treated the same way everytime. It always ends up the same it seems.

I'm really sorry to hear about everything that happened, Becca. That guy really needs to realize what he says/how he acts towards people.

I'm going to butt in for a second, because I would love some answers. Why in the world would a guy give me his jacket and stand outside in a short sleeve shirt in 10 degree weather, flirt with me, invite me in his car and have me lay on him and talk for an hour then tell someone that he knows he was leading me on and didn't like me? What is the point of all the work in that? It was like 2 hours of freezing to death, cuddling, and flirting with someone you don't even care about. Why waste your energy and get their hopes up?

maybe that someone is lying to you and likes the guy as well(if the someone was a girl)

It wasn't a girl. It was my friend's boyfriend who asked him what happened, since my friend conveniently told him that I was still outside an hour after he left. I feel pretty stupid because guess what- this isn't the first time its happened with this guy!

Ugh

I am about to strangle him with his overpriced fleece jacket.

Well, maybe not the jacket. The jacket was really warm. I will run over him with the Jeep and then take the jacket, since I wanted to get myself one anyways.

I think the guy does like you and got scared and chickened out. Plus, since when do teenage guys tell other teenage guys their true feelings? He probably knew that whatever he said would go back to the girlfriend and then right back to you.

Until he says it for himself, I have to say that actions speak louder than words.

I guess. That's what I thought too. It's just that we kind of tried the whole dating thing over the summer, and he decided that he "didn't feel chemistry" or some crap like that. I think he's just desperate and leading me on for the hell of it.

It's rather confusing. Though I really wonder that since he had to know that I was going to hear it, why would he say he was leading me on if he wasn't?

I can't imagine any scenario where a guy would do this and not like you. It just doesn't add up.

Perhaps the guy is trying to suggest some level of 'coolness' (no pun intended) about leading you on. Does he think it makes him some kind of stud to lead girls on? There is a certain age among boys where sweet romantic gestures are not considered 'cool'. He may like you, but he doesn't want his friends to know.

Another possibility is that the person that told you this is not being completely truthful. Does the person who told you this have anything to gain by discrediting the boy who gave you his coat?

Regardless of this, it does sound like the boy likes you.

RC's right it "doesn't add up". Which means something's missing in his explanation.

I got a very good laugh out of this. I'm really really tired.

Well, to be honest (and really, i'm not trying to be mean here) this guy doesn't get girls. Ever. I was the only girl he ever actually got to date him and I know he's really desperate for a girlfriend. Knowing this, I feel like i'm probably getting led on again just out of his own desperation. To give him some credit, the few days we were together before he freaked out, he was very very sweet.

I'm not sure, in regards to the person lying. I don't know him too well, but he's the boyfriend of one of my best friends and he knows there would be complete hell to pay if he was lying.

I'm at least glad i'm not the only one who thinks this. I don't get it.

This part really makes no sense. Why would a guy tell his buddy that? It makes him look like a total jerk.

I can see a snotty b__ch cheerleader telling her friends she led a guy on, but that's not something a guy would say.

He kind of has become a jerk. Apparently my friends (and a bunch of people I was never really close to, but obviously they're nice enough to defend me) still give him crap for being a jerk to me over the summer. Do not understand why he would re do this since they would all kill him if they knew about this.

As the father of a girl who will be a beautiful young lady, the bolded part FREAKS ME OUT! Any boy asking my girl to 'lay on him' needs to be spoken to.

Okay, he didn't ask me to. Not to mention we were in a car and it was more me resting my torso upon his side. It's rather complex, should I draw a diagram?

No diagrams!!

I drew one anyways. It is rather complicated to convey this via stick figure drawing. I will have to re do this with the car interior later.



From this photo, you will see that my right leg has reproduced via budding and that I had to take this with a webcam. Enjoy and understand.

The diagram makes me feel worse!!! I'm going to chaperon my daughter on dates until she's 32.

where are the stick figures clothes?

Why 32 exactly? Is that the magical age where dating becomes completely safe?


That is a whole other story.

You eff-ing crack me up. You're hair looks great by the way. . .

He obviously doesn't realize that you are the "Hottest."

He doesn't sound like a good guy. Him telling his friend that he's leading you on makes it seem like he is in control. The reality is that the guy is rarely in control.

oh hottest I'm not so freaked out about the leg as I am about the two of you not having any mouths an still be able to talk via mind reading.

Oh thank you! I'm actually thinking about cutting it a bit shorter, though I do like the bangs...

Apparently not.

I know. I'm shocked that he did that. I've been friends with this guy for over 4 years, pretty close friends actually. This is a whole other side of him i'm still trying to figure out.


It is symbolic of our apparent lack of communication.