No offense intended, but are you sure this is a good idea? We've seen what's happened in the past. It's your call of course, but personally I'm a little apprehensive about it.

^^^Me too.

ugh, Guys are dumb. Not nick he's been really brillant. We're talking about everything and the future and I'm not jumpinginto the future just play it by ear. And yes I am a bit stand offish cause we've not had any luck in the past couple of years but like he said, we just have to do it. I know he's a poop but even if it goes sour again I'm ready for it. We're talking everyday, he's paying more attention to me in every respect and I guess my heart hadn't got rid of him totally. I love him.
The dumb guy is the guy I was talking to before nick and I got back together. A few post above that I deleted him. He's been trying to contact me and he's gone as far as finding me on IM and bombarding me with messages about how he's trying to help me cause I'm being crazy and how I didn't talk to him all this time and he still cares about me. He even went as far as saying well I have someone else and did I while you and I were seeing each other. And I know you are probably with your ex again cause your stupid and the pair of you are losers. yet I'm the bad one? I didn't respond and I've gone and deleted all this new info I had for him.
RC where do we go to pitch this idea??

Me too. And this is why:




Did you ever resolve the whole daughter issue? And what does beckons mean? Does that mean that you don't believe that she has a valid reason to spend time with him? Are you really willingly getting caught up in this all again?

What it means is that nick finally got some help and understanding that his daugther has a emontional issue and still hasn't worked through it an he's been helping her and getting her help. I think the best thing is for her and I to start from scratch again. I understand it's a lot to deal with , moving back in with dad an a whole new school, friends, lifestyle and getting to know your dad again and then knowing dad has this life you dont know about. But it's been long enough now that things for everyone has sunk in...hopefully. it's not that I didn't like her I didn't like how sheh acted and was treating her dad, but they both were being stupid an I was looking like the witch in it.
All that matters now is that we're working on it and we all understand each other and where we're coming from. We're happy.

That stupid guy sent me a message on my phone so late last night, here's the woman I have been seeing, see how happy we are, see how normal people look. We're so happy and this is us in bed together. Okay the pic is him and this woman lying on a bed smiling like they are just taking a snap shot, nothing dirty about it. here's where you can laugh. The idoit forgot to erase the date on the pic, it was taken 7-20-2007. Yeah, I'm heartbroken.
Nick says, just ignore it and don't respond. He's not even upset. Says it doesn't matter, it's just about us now. Kinda shocked, but it's nice.

This should please everyone..Nick and I are dating. He is my boyfriend, I am his girlfriend. We are however not engaged at this point and we talked about it and said we will discuss that at a more better time in the relationship, becuase we are not taking each other for granted this time around.

Here's my 2 cents on the Becca + Nick scenario.

Sure, there are reasons why Becca may be making a mistake. However, and this is a HUGE however - The entire tone of her posts change when she talks about Nick. She obviously loves him.

I think it would be a bigger mistake to not try again. That would be a mistake that would haunt her forever. She has to give it a shot. She loves him, it's worth a shot.

^^ That is very thoughtful RC thanks. You are right about the not trying. That's what nick told me. He said, I'm tired of running away from you, it's not fair and no matter how much I try, I love you. And I've dealt with a few guys and talked to a few guys and no one gives that flutter feeling in my stomach. So I'm going to try it again and see what happens. Maybe I'll end up crying again maybe not but I know inside somewhere that amazing man is in there still.

I can only speak for myself. . . Becca, you're a grown woman (obviously), and its none of our business who you date or why. You've shared that part of your life here, and I've happily (or unhappily) given you my two cents along the way, because hey, that's what we do around here, and also because I've grown fond of you over the past couple of years, and wish you only the very best. But I don't have the filter of affection for Nick that you have. I only know the pain you've gone through in the past, and the way he's treated you from what you've shared here. That's what I've been conditioned to expect from Nick. That's what I expect from Nick in the future. I sincerely hope I'm wrong, and he has changed for the better. But I know how rare that is, so I've got my fingers and toes crossed for some evidence of it. Not just words, (because god knows he's a good talker). And I don't think love is enough. I think there are lots of people in the world we can love, but only a handful we can live with for the next five or six decades. But again, this is your business, and ultimately he has to prove it to you, not any of us. I may be skeptical about how this is going to go, but I always wish you the very best and hope I'm wrong.

Wow, this could describe my ex, who is actually named Rachel, to a T.

Which is why she's my ex! Fantastico!

Reminds me of this.

On a related topic, this thread is huge and entertaining.

What are our collective thoughts on girls/boys in broken/breaking relationships? Fair game, or wait until the inevitable split? I've waited before and it hasn't turned out so crash hot.

OMG! That was hilarious!!! I couldn't stop reading that. Ever single thing in there happens to guys.

But I have to confess that I kept thinking that Rachel must be super-hot for that guy to put up with all of that.

That depends... why don't you just make yourself CLEAR on what you want. If she rejects it, yeah it was never meant to be. Maybe she never knew you wanted anything to do with her in the first place.

That is addictive!!!! Believe it or not, I have dated guys like that!


Depends on the relationship. If we're talking married, then hands off. Anything else, yeah, you can put it out there, and you might get rejected. Then again, you might not. At any rate, at least you'll know.

I LOVE NICK!!!!

I stand by my earlier caution.

I didn't have time to add on to my post cause I lost my connection and my mom was like go to town for me.

I just really love him, he's been really sweet lately and yes be warned it can change like the wheather but he's just done things and acted like the guy I fell for. even when I get alittle moody and pissy with him he knows exactly how to calm me down and get me outta my funk. We've had a really good day today with lots of laughther. So I'm pleased. Now it's all about me so he's doing his thing an I'm gonna chill out at home after being out all day

Ugh, why am I always attracted to guys who are extreme lady magnets . I assumed me & the hockey guy had something going on, or so I thought. We have not called each other boyfriend & girlfriend, so it's nothing official. Anyway, a few seconds ago I went on his facebook profile to write on his wall (wanted to remind him about the world cup qualifying matches today) when I noticed that some girl (who he has mentioned in the past) wrote, & I quote "hey babbbbbyyyyyyy im gona rub u around in nuttela and marshmellows. and pour some syrup on you..." Obviously I have no reason to get mad, since we're not dating but seeing that kinda sucked & also, I kinda get the feeling that they're saying stuff to each other, stuff that would make her write that. I'm more bummed than heartbroken, mainly because I have not known him well enough to develope strong feelings for him. I'll still be his friend but if there's one thing, I won't ask him about what that girl wrote. There's a small chance my instincts are wrong so I don't wanna make anything bigger than it is. Plus, it's a little silly to base something on a social networking site. But I'll admit, I laughed when I saw the wall post .

crazy guy I was talking to before nick and I got back together. Last night he popped up. Comes to me crying, I miss you. I love you so much. It was really upsetting cause he was so upset. And this is not a april fools joke. He said, run away with me right now and marry me tonight. I told him no and he cried for another 10 mins. I made sure he was okay before I sent him on his way.

nick is trying to find a way of helping me wiht my back but honestly I dont want anyone near it.

I have a question for the males of the forum. Why is that some guys, not all guys, like to publicly show that all these girls like him? Is to show that he's desirable, is it because of his ego, or is because of something else? Finally, do men feel like they can carry like this for all their life, or is there an age to stop? The guy I'm referring to will be 26 & no, it's not Mikey, even though Mikey is pretty much like this guy too. I understand that men like to feel wanted by women but there's a difference between that & showing off. And finally, a guy wouldn't display that sort of behaviour if he liked a girl, right?

Thanks !!!!!

I'm not a guy (obviously), but I was never interested in a guy who was interested in doing that. The words "boring" and "insecure" immediately come to mind.

"I have a question for the males of the forum. Why is that some guys, not all guys, like to publicly show that all these girls like him?"

Not me. I can't even find one. Guess "the one" and I have not found each other yet.

"Is to show that he's desirable, is it because of his ego, or is because of something else?"

He wishes that he had a tail like a peacock and since he doesn't this is what he does


"Finally, do men feel like they can carry like this for all their life, or is there an age to stop? The guy I'm referring to will be 26 & no, it's not Mikey, even though Mikey is pretty much like this guy too."

The ones that continue on like this (and there is no age limit, look at hefner) are also the ones that are attracting a certain type of female who like this image or behaviour. Remember, positive reinforcement goes a long way. As Major John Casey would say "Don't encourage him."

"I understand that men like to feel wanted by women but there's a difference between that & showing off."

It is a much better feeling to be liked than despised. Don't forget the growing number of women who are having their breasts augmented for purely cosmetic reasons and wear their blouses with the minimal number of buttons done up. I would call that showing off too. And guess what kind of man they are attracting? Ones with a big feathery tail. Things can come full circle pretty quick.

"And finally, a guy wouldn't display that sort of behaviour if he liked a girl, right?"

I would certainly hope not.

I would rather have one lasting relationship than having as many one night stands as possible.

Just my opinion of course.

Exactly. And they're compensating for something they're lacking, if you get my drift.

That’s a really good question PiP.

People will go to great lengths to make themselves more desirable to the opposite sex. In your example it’s bragging about how desirable they are. Other examples include bragging about how much money they make, who they know, etc. Some people even brag about their physical attributes.

It’s all about making yourself more attractive. It’s self promotion.

This behavior does work to some extent. A lot of people are attracted to things like this. You hear women say things like ‘I’m dating this new guy, he’s a lawyer’. The ‘he’s a lawyer’ part is the key, she’s attracted to the power and money associated with a lawyer.

But this type of behavior only gets you so far. I think it’s tough to build a meaningful relationship based on things like this. At some point you have to ‘get real’.

If you like a guy that's doing this, try to get past that and get to know the real him. If you can't get to know the real him, then maybe he's not worth knowing. I wouldn't totally write off a guy just because he did this.

What do you mean publicly show? Does he talk about girls coming on to him constantly? Does he walk around like he's "all that"?


A guy might display this behavior even if he liked a girl. Guys get mixed signals from Gals. Aren't young ladies attracted to confident/cocky/bad boys? He might have figured out that nice guys finish last.

I couldn't agree more!

No. Never have been. Complete turn-off.

I've always been partial big brains.

where is the code book to decode these signals though?

This could be a Lilly Allen song. In fact it's a little similar to that line in 'Smile' -

An' now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
An' it's only because you're feeling alone

And that post about your friend's cousin cheating on her Hubby, that could be a Lill Allen song too. She'd sing her cousin's name though. And probably call the guy some quaint British insult like 'wanker' or something.



So did you like Spock? Is he 'hottest on the Enterprise'?

lol, me too!

Although, confidence is a big turn on for me. But there's a difference between confidence and being arrogant or cocky. I like a guy that believes in himself, but he doesn't need to flaunt himself to prove how much he believes in himself, because he doesn't need to prove it to anyone. Catch my drift.

and just to make it clear, if I remember correctly, guys send some pretty mixed signals as well. I think it mostly has to do with one not knowing what they (he or she) want.

I'll be sure to write it out and send it to her so she can make millions

I've never found men who were overly confident a turn off. I've always been attracted to the men who were real funny, silly and don't take things so seriously, which explains most of my relationships

Guys send out mixed signals??? Seriously???? I've never heard of that (really, I'm being honest).

No, appreciating human emotions is kind of a must.

Oh I definitely remember feeling that way. Heck, I even remember feeling that way with Ed back in High School. (But again, it was mostly because he didn't know what he wanted.) And he's usually a very straight forward guy.

Can any girls back me up on this?

That's a logical statement Mixed

One of my biggest turn-offs was girls with guys hobbies. I dated a girl for a while who was into fixing cars. Seeing her adjust the timing on her Camaro was a huge turnoff. Or girls that didn't like to dress like girls. When she said 'I'm not really into wearing dresses' I envisioned this big red X across her.

Yep--husband dearest sent out the worst mixed signals for a year and a half until I had enough and stopped playing along. Quick example--one Valentine's Day he said "I may stop by the bar after work if you're going to be there". So, of course, I was, and of course, he didn't show. The next day he called me at work to see if I had been there and I finally took a stand and said "I don't know what annoys me more--the fact that you didn't show or the fact that I actually believed you might". He was left speechless, and by September he had miraculously decided what he wanted.

Guys know what they want, and girls know what guys want.


I second that big red X.

Very true!

If a guy "admits" to not knowing what he wants, he probably playing games.

Oh I think you are very misguided. Girls do not always know what guys want. Guys are just as confusing to me as we girls apparently are to you.

Whether or not you guys know what you want or do not want, well that's up to you. But really? You've never not known what you have wanted. Or is everything always pre-programmed for guys?

Woah, so many things to give my insight too . I'll start with what really caught my eye:



I have to agree with BJB. Guys may not be as notorious as us girls when it comes to sending out mixed signals, but they still do it. The worst, however, is when it comes to a nice guy. Deciphering(sp?) if he's just being nice, or if he likes you drives me crazy. But yeah, both genders are guility when it comes to playing the mixed signals game. I've sent mixed signals, & I've received mixed signals.



I've heard that before & I mean a guy not knowing what he wanted. Months ago, when I revealed to Mikey that I liked him, he replied that he wasn't sure what he wanted. I think what he meant by that was, "I appreciate that you like me, but I'm not into you that way." Or, he could really mean that he doesn't know what he wants but still, I have my doubts. And New, why does a guy do that & what kinda games is he playing?

Speaking as a nice guy, I've always known what I wanted, but getting it was the hard part.



He wants to play the field. Just like a woman, who wants to keep her options open.

Interesting choice of words. Not that anyone would ever refer to the genders as having different views of the same thing...

I was not playing games or sending mixed signals.. I simply told nick if you dont call me I will take it as a sign of your loss of affection for me.


He called

Young being the operative word, but maybe you should say immature. I know women my age who still go all gaga/boy crazy when a guy pays attention to them. It's kind of sickening to hear a middle aged woman talk like an adolescent.

I think it takes maturity and knowing yourself to know what you want. Now that I know what I want, there's nothing to want.

That's exactly why I used the adjective young.

A lot young guys may put up with the craziness of a young lady because she's "hot". The more a guy matures, he realizes that her looks are not worth the drama she creates day in and day out. Before you jump on me, I'm not saying that guys don't create drama.

I guess everyone is different an has different takes on what type of relationship they want and what makes a relationship. I think it's actually kinda sweet that at any age you can gt worked up over a man. I'm sure there is a cut off even for me at the level of gaga. But, don't ya think it's kinda nice that you can let yourself go that emotionally to get caught up again in feelings that you hadn't had since you were a teenager?

I'm speaking as someone who doesn't have the most mature relationship But really though, out of the other guys I have talked to and seen, I dont think I felt what I did for them like what I feel for nick.

speaking of....I hope he comes to see me. I could use a visit, but he told me yesterday he twisted his knee alittle(the replaced knee) while moving some boxes.

Last night, my friends & I went to this sports bar for karaoke & we sadly ran into Mikey, who was with a couple of his friends. As the night progressed, I began to remember just why I don't like him anymore. One reason is that he proceeds to get drunk when the oppurtunity arises & during that period, he makes a big royal arse of himself & one example is him making a racist comment. He was babbling on about the new Fast & Furious film to my friend, whom he just met & during the course of his convo, he procedded to make a not so nice comment about asians & my friend, who he made the comment to, is asian. It was awkward for sometime after that & because he was inebriated(sp) & unable to realize what came out of his mouth, I had to aplogize for him. And just as my friends & I were leaving, he procedded to invite me to his upcoming birthday party where I immediately turned his invitation down, stating that I have plans next day, plans which consist of me celebrating Greek Orthodox Easter with my family. My friend, who is also semi-friends too, quickly said that she has the car for the weekend (meaning we don't have to stay late cause she can drive me) but I politely thanked her & said no, as I had to be up early for Easter & also, because I have no interest putting myself in a situation with him that allows him to be drunk & make a fool out of himself. Had this been a few months ago, the word yes would've escaped my lips as soon a he made the offer but for now, no is the only response I give, & the only one he deserves. He probably doesn't believe I'm celebrating Easter (I was baptised & raised Catholic, as my dad is a Croatian Catholic but since my mom was Greek Orthodox before she married my dad, I recognize & celebrate Orthodox holidays too) but whatever. FYI, Greek Easter falls on the Sunday following Catholic Easter (so the 19th) & I don't wanna stay out too late. But yes, the evening was certainly awkward.