What does a guy mean he says, "Hope we can come become better friends & move forward "? The reason I ask is because I'm unsure what to interpret of the part "& move forward". A guy I like said that to me when I said that him & I will be casual friends & nothing more because we always seem to upset each other somehow & I seem to unintentionally get to him, more than he gets to me. I find this all so mind boogling .

Maybe he means that he hopes you get to know each other better so that you realize the little things that will annoy each other, and then not do them.

sounds like he wants to get to know you first. I call it pre dating. Guys want to hang out see how you are, see how you are with his friends and as silly as that is, they start thinking yeah I can date this girl.

Could I Nick have something planned for us? He said well I just have to explain now to ms.thang that I'll be going for a week maybe 2 now. This was his answer when I said don't dangle the carrot in front of the horse just to see me run. He said you will get the carrot an more I promise you, cause I want more. Maybe we'll get a mini vaction just the 2 of us??

With all due respect, that's a load of rubbish, based on my experience. I can't begin to count the number of women who told me "...but we're such good friends that a relationship would just ruin it...".

I never believed it when they said this. Still don't. There was a stretch a number of years ago where I dated 5 women over the course of a year. Every one of them married the next guy she went out with. I guess my lot is to serve as a horrible example...

I have lots of female friends (surprisingly, most of my friends are women), and I've learned a lot from them. Hopefully, they've learned a lot from me, too.

ah Jazz I can see your point but there is a shift in dating that is a bit strange. It's like dating with out the relationship. then when he doesn't want to hang out and you get upset he spouts off, this wasn't a relationship you know what it was, just fun. Idoits.

I always thought when someone said "move forward" it meant putting past mistakes behind us and changing course to get better results. It doesn't seem like there is a hidden message in that statement.

What exactly is the rubbish part?
I realize I may not know what I'm talking about, since I've been happily married for 28 years, and don't have much experience dating.
I've had 3 boyfriends in my life, including my husband, and the other two guys are dead. But I do remember being careful not to do something if they said it annoyed them. I don't think your fate is to be a horrible example. It's probably just coincidence.


Edit....cute picture!

Well, everyone's interpretation is different. Why don't you just ask him?


Why can't he just be open and honest with you? He's always been carrot dangling.


Well, that's not very respectful.

Maybe you were training those women for marriage.

I'm not trying to judge Nick at all right now, we're both different and we're in a good place an I have to give him lots of credit for actually being honest with his feelings lately

What does it mean when a guy friend sends you an e-mail and ends it with "love you"? He means as a friend, right?!

Saying 'love you' as a friend strikes me as a little strange.

It's either a mistake or he likes you. Could be either one. I once said 'love you bye' to my sister on the phone. I didn't intend to say that, I'm just so conditioned to ending phone conversations with my wife that way.

Well, in the last e-mail I sent him I did mention that I say "I love you" to my friends a lot. But I didn't mean my guy friends!

He's a clever guy! He's just doing what you said you do.

How could he have typed that without realizing that it would freak me out?
Maybe I should tell him I only say that to my girl friends... Would that be mean?

You don't have to be mean about it. You can say something like -

I freaked out when I saw the 'Love You'! I only say that to my girlfriends.

I guess so. Thanks. I just really freaked out

Nick called me twice this morning worried about me. My leg swelled up huge last night and I didn't get to bed til 5 am with pain. He wants me to see a doctor an I will be.

From my own personal experince when guy friend said love you it had hidden meaning and as soon as they knew I didn't want anything more than friendship, they ranted on about how I broke their heart. I make it a point now to ask why are you saying that if they say it. we all remember my posts about crazy ex guy friend of 10 yrs

I did that once at work. So embarrassing.

My brother always says love ya sissy, it's nice.

I'm semi annoyed with nick, we're playing phone tag.

I realize that we're only talking about 1 vowel here, but he did say "love you", right? Not "I Love You". To me, that one little letter makes a big difference, especially in something that's so hard to identify tone with, like e-mail. Plus, I hope this guy would have enough sense that if he were to tell you that he was "in love'' with you, he wouldn't tag it to the end of an e-mail and would tell you in person and would include the "I".

If he's heard you tell your girlfriends a lot that you love them, he may think that it's perfectly acceptable if he's also a close friend. However, if it does make you uncomfortable, I would just politely tell him and maybe explain why (but keep it simple). Also though, I would let him know that (if it's true) that you have a lot of affection/admiration/etc for him as well, but don't feel comfortable using the "L" word with members of the opposite sex that are nothing more than friends. I would do this just so he doesn't think that you don't feel the same and you are rejecting his friendship.

On a personal note, I've had a guy-friend tell me he loved me in chat before. It threw me off for a moment, but I knew he meant it as a friend. (Nothing like Casino Night ) We were close, but it was nothing more than that. And for that matter, I loved him too (but I wasn't 'in-love' with him). We didn't exchange "love-ya's'' much, it was mostly when we did something that excited the other and made us proud to know each other (if that makes sense).

Also, on the matter of expressing love. My family always ends phone conversations with each other with "I love you". I say it to my husband, son, sister, brother, mother, step-father, grandmothers and even my dad. I guess it's the idea that if that if that happens to be the last time I ever spoke to them, I want them to know that I love them very much.

Good post BJB!

There are a lot of different semantics with 'love you' that I didn't consider until I read your post.

let me start off saying that my grandpa one year painted the entire inside of the house powder blue. It's faded more now so it's not so blue but it's powder blue. Yikes I know.

Nick calls me, I'm painting my living room, it was too dark and I needed a light contrasting wall. So I'm doing a blue against the dark walls since I have chocolate colored curtains and a couch. I said as long as it's not powder blue. He says, it is actually. we both start laughing and Im howling by this point and yelling out no powder blue and he's laughing so hard. He starts crying with laugther cause I'm going crazy. (much funnier if you were there and saw my house)
I finally ask him are you sure you're not gay, cause you seem to know a lot about design. He said no and to behave myself. But I was poking fun at him an was like, my name is nick I'm a great man, son, father, friend, business man, animal lover, all round top athlete and a wizard with colors an swatches. He told me to come paint his living room too, I told him, F off, you think I'll help you with the tragdey of a powder blue wall? He said you can help me later then. I hung up.

Funny how things in our lives mirror each other at times.

That sounded like TMI the first time I read it

He sent me an e-mail today and in it he said (along with a lot of other stuff, we write long e-mails to each other) that he wants to tell me something in person that he doesn't want to say over e-mail. He said "I don't know if you'd want to hear it" !! Maybe I'm reading too much into this. I just really, really don't want him to like me. He's one of the only friends I can really talk to and I don't want to mess that up with a bunch of drama.
I'm confused... he can't have feelings for me. It doesn't make sense. For one thing, the only guys who have ever been interested in me (from asking me out to saying "you're hot") have been younger than me. I think it's because I look younger than I am, which is a good thing when you're an adult, but not so much as a teenager. (Like when I was 15 and I really liked one of my friends, but everyone thought I was 12 and he looked 16 or 17.) But this guy is a few months older. I know it's conceivable, but it would be so unexpected.

^^^ He likes you. I really can't think of anything else he'd want to tell you in person.

We tell each other everything in our e-mails, so I can't think of anything else either.
I feel like such a 'Pam' for kind of leading him on. Except unlike her, I don't love him. I just took for granted that he would never like me because he's older. And because well, when we first started being friends I was a little worried that he would start to like me, but he didn't seem to feel that way at all.
I feel really bad because he said he's feeling upset because of 'the thing he wants to talk to me about.' I don't want to drive him into depression or anything!

That's a tought situation FG7. I hope he values your friendship enough to just keep it as friends. This sort of thing can be tough on guys. It's like when Jim said 'I want more then that' and left Pam on Casino Night. It was wrong of Jim to abandon their friendship, but I have to admit I understood why he did it.

Hopefully things will be different for you and your friend. I hope this works out for you.

nick made a very unfunny joke when I was trying to explain my stress and worry about my "women's issues" I got real ticked off and he said he was kidding but I will not let a joke about me sleeping around behind his back just be laughed off. He was so close to getting screamed at.

*sigh* He just doesn't know where the line is, and definitely crossed it. With past girlfriends, I only entered no man's land once before learning to steer clear of stuff like that. And yes, it is quite insensitive. Just because a stand up comedian may do it, doesn't make it funny for any guy to do it. The problem is, once we hear a joke, we instantly find ourselves walking laugh-factories, and we end up not using the filling between our ears to consider the implications of a gender joke, especially if that gender is present.

Don't sweat it too bad, FNB. Yes, it is rude and insensitive, so just get him back soon then talk about it Without women, some of us men would steer our lives right into the ground. We just need to be nudged by reality from time to time

Thanks. I guess there's nothing I can do about it. Well, I could say I'm a lesbian or something, but I don't think that's a very good solution.


Reminds me of a funny story someone once told me. Her boyfriend called her a "cheap Jew" so she threw a menorah at his head.
My suggestion is to get a very ironic revenge.

Lying is not a good option. Just be kind, and tell him you don't feel the same way.

But now you see how easy it is for someone to get emotionally involved, when you share everything with them.

Now I'm thinking maybe he doesn't like me. *Fingers crossed*
Or if he does like me, I don't think it's what he was talking about when he said he would rather tell me in person.

I fully agree. It's better to be honest than it is to lead someone on. That way, they'll be able to hopefully move on. Lying will make the situation worse. He may not want to hear that you don't feel the same way but eventually, he'll get over it. When you get the appropriate opportunity, gently tell him that you don't feel the same way but before you do that, make sure he likes you first. Good luck.

I am really greatful for nick. Despite it all, he really does care about me

Until the very end.

Good for you Becca! I'm glad things are working out for you two.



That is nice.

That's a sweet story. Good for them

Thanks, we're doing great right now.

I called nick cause I thought he'd get a laugh outta me having to leave a movie early and he was laughing so hard at me I had to hold the phone away from my ear. I kept asking, what is so funny about this? I'm upset I didn't even see any real butt kicking. He just kept laughing. Listen to you, its funny. The way you say things. Our plans to spend time later were crushed but we'll have to rearrange for later.

what do you call it when things are so smooth and great that it's almost better than when you first start seeing someone?

Honeymoon period.

So when are you guys going to get hitched?

I have a question for the guys. If you liked a girl, you would probably tell her, especially if she told you that she likes you. Or, would you just keep quiet?

I can't see any reason to keep it quiet. I'd tell her.

That's exactly what I thought. One of my guy friends said, "Honestly, if a guy liked you, or wanted something from you, he'd tell you."

Who knows. We've not talked about dates or anything related to it expect we both want each other.

when he asked me if I wanted to lay bathroom tile with him with I told him no lay me instead. it didn't happen. plus I wanted to go lay down but there's new bathroom tile he's putting in himself. I love the fact he does it all. probably why he's able to act like a huge pain in the @ss too.

I had to reread this post three times. I kept saying to myself 'She didn't really say that did she?'.

yes I did

I would tell her unless I was being pressured into giving an answer. That would freak me out and be a red flag for me.

I'm listed as in a relationship, I've told a certain person tonight I have a boyfriend and he's been really resepctful and not crossed any lines but he sent me this message on myspace saying he came across my pic on Jenna Fischers page and told me I had the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen. I've thanked him an he seems like a really nice person who just likes the office.
I called nick just now to tell him and he's all okay an said the min he gets weird, block and drop em. I love nick so much

Good for Nick.

The 'beautiful eyes' comment is borderline. I think comments like 'your hair looks great' are fine, but commenting on things like eyes, rear, etc are pretty close to crossing the line.

Interesting. What would you consider pressure? If a girl straight up asked you if you liked her, would you tell her or would that be a red flag? What about if a girl admitted that she liked you & she asked you if you felt the same (so she knows whether to move on)? I'm just inquiring as it's different for different people I guess.