I've never been a fan of asking someone out over myspace. I say that you should still try and get her number and get setup through the bride. Some women might think that's weird. I've always tried to ask women out on the phone or in person.

Great point/Good Call/ Listen to this guy

I want a boyfriend and I feel like I've run out of options. And it sucks. And I hate it. So theres my little whiney complaint.

You're 16 and you think you're out of options already?

Enjoy your friends, enjoy your freedom, do good in school. Your first love is 95% of the time going to break your heart in the end, so enjoy the peace while you can.

Sorry if I sound a little cynical, but that's what happened to me at 16 and I wish I had enjoyed high school instead of being swept up in the drama.

Like Wedd said- enjoy the time while your single. No need to rush anything

But I have been focusing on friends and school for awhile. And I just dont like being single. But I understand what you're saying...my sister tells me I think waaay too much about guys haha but hey, I'm a girl! Its what we do! (and I mean that in a nonsexual way for that statement)

The worst thing you can ever do it look to get into a relationship just for the sake of being in one.

Look at Kelly and Ryan and the way that relationship was and ended as a prieme example.

Love is a funny thing. It just happens. You can't make it happen.

All excellent points--very nicely said!

Oh I guess. I'm just getting rather impatient.

Agreed. I would never do that. If anything, im using myspace as a medium for some ice breaking conversations.

Here is what went down thus far:

I commented her - "Hey! Glad I found you. Did you recover from the wedding?"
She commented back - "hey glad to find you too! haha i recovered nicely but thanks for the concern "

This seems like a good initial sign. She obviously remembers me.

Whats my next step? Any ideas on what I should comment back?

It sounds like you are in.

I have always been a direct approach kind of guy (so if someone thinks of something better be sure to post) especially with text, since you can't read the other persons emotions.

Maybe something like

Think something you guys had in common from your conversation at the wedding and say some thing like "We hsould do (whatever) sometime...give me your number so I can give you a call





Quick question...how quickly did she reply back?

Thank you

Um, I sent her a message last night and then she replied to it earlier this afternoon. I dont know if I want to go to the "give me your number" approach so soon. I mean, all ive really had with her is a brief conversation and then this message. I think I might want to test the waters a little more. Any suggestions?

Also, I should add that she lives a little bit away from me, like 45 minutes.

Ask her if she'd like to meet for coffee.

Do you have any reason to visit the town she lives in? The reason I ask is that driving 45 minutes to meet her may seem a little too much. You don't want to come on too strong at first.

Ideally you'd have a reason to be in her area and you two could meet for coffee or lunch.

hmmmm, good thought. That might work. I just need a reason to go to her area.

Any other ideas on what I should message back to her. i dont want to come on too strong. RockerCreed, you seem good at this.

Having a reason to be in her area works well because there is no pressure on her. You have to be there anyway, it's not like you're making a special trip. This makes is more casual for her.

Having to make your trip on no special day also makes it easier on her as well. "I've got to make a trip to Scranton some time within the next week, would you like to have coffee?" This sounds very casual and friendly, not too strong or stalkerish.

A great topic over coffee would be her relationship with the bride at the recent wedding. This is relevent to you because you know the bride. But more importantly, it gives her the opportunity to tell you about herself without you asking the lame question 'Tell me about yourself'.

Rocker Creed>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Frosted Flakes

Yeah, call me when you hit 30.

Thanks for the great advice RC!

I am going to have a few more conversations with her and then i'll try that. I'll let you know how it works.

Anyone got any ideas I can use for ice breaker conversations and or good/flirtty myspace comments?

Nope. The last form of commuincation that we did was when I wrote on his wall on Facebook. However, the truth is that my heart belongs to another guy . I've liked him on & off since October of last year but the feelings have come back, & now they're stronger than ever. Something tells me he may like me too. Ugh, I can't stop thinking about him. He's in my mind right now. I wish there was something I could do.

Also, the exact same thing happened last year. I was dating this guy while I was madly in love with another one. Everytime a guy wants to date me, it seems I can't settle down because I have feelings for another. Argh.

^^ sounds like a bad case of spring fever

The conversation is still open considering you didn't say anything about how you recovered. So, something like "i wish i could say the same, after all i saw you ". I know, it's cheesy and flirty but something along those lines. Although in hindsight a line like that is better used in normal conversation and not as a myspace message. But still, don't shy away from flirting. If she has any sort of brain she knows your interested in her so don't be scared to say something like that.

Hello people! I've been hiding from the board ever since the big change, because, quite frankly, organization scares me Anyway, I can see there's alot for me to catch up on.

Today is definitely one of those days when I'm reminded of how much I love being single. My best friend moved away as soon as she turned 18 to live with her boyfriend. Apparantly they've been discussing marriage and are having a HUGE argument as to whether or not he should be allowed to go to a strip club for his bachelor's party.

All I can think about is how crazy the whole situation is. We're only 18 after all, and I, for one, could not even possibly imagine getting married.

If that's the case, it came one season too late. Um, bad joke aside it seems that I'm more into the person I'm not dating. Why, I dunno. I mean, I'd never cheat if I found out the other guy liked me. I'd just see which one is better for me. At that the moment, it seems like it'll the guy that I have off & on feelings for. I can't help it if I'm attracted to a Greek guy with beautiful blue eyes . As for the other guy that likes me, I dunno. I have a right to be happy but should I wait to find out how the other ones really feels. Arrrggh. I think Anna Vissi sang it best:

Who cares about love oh oh oh oh
Who cares about love oh oh oh oh

Bleh...

Thanks for all of your help!

I am going to take it slow and start some conversations with her that hopefully lead up to coffee.

Luckily, i'll be having my 22nd b-day bash in like a month, so if things go well, hopefully I can invite her.

I will keep everyone posted as to what happens in the coming weeks.

Is it good that she responds to my comments fairly quickly?

YES!

Congrats!!!! It sounds like it's going well for you.

being single sounds really good right now. There is no sharing and no give and take when your single. Right now it feels like a he11 of a lot of giving and twice as much taking.

I'm so ticked off at the brit and when he asked to sop by before he goes to this BBQ, I said no. When he asked to stop by after, I said no! I don't care if he is taking his daugther. I think he knew about this before and didn't tell me and just sprung it on me now. The most he's getting out of me today and tomorrow, is a phone conversation. Was I invited? I'm sitting here, what does that tell you.

I remember when I had that..... now I have Summer fever...which will soon be Fall fever. lol!


Sounds like Lizzie need a drinkie.

lizzie has a big drinkie. *cheers*

Sorry to hear that.

Personally, to me, that sounds like a total disregard for you as a person. And as a guy myself, I would never stoop that that level. He should be proud to take you places. Not because your his "possession" but rather because he wants everyone to know how much he cares about you.

If the two of you had plans, he should have either told the woman he has plans with his fiance (garnering you an invitation) or called to discuss it with you before he committed to go to the bbq.



Depending on how much painting I get done tomorrow, I may go to a singles gathering at my friend's church Saturday night. I've been avoiding all the Christian singles activities for the last coupla years for several reasons:

1. Skeevy pervs (yes, there are Christian pervs)

2. Tired of single people who whine - get off the bitter bus!!!

3. I am fat, so no guys pay attention to me, other than as a friend. Which is fine because:

4. Most of the Christian single guys my age in this city are extremely self-centered and damaged, with no thoughts of bettering themselves. I can say this because I already know most of them. And since the ratio of men to women is usually about 1:2, they don't have to change, because there will always be some woman who will put up with them.

5. I run into some of my girlfriends' SFB* ex husbands. Ummm, buddy, if you beat up your wife, I know you're afraid of what I'll say to people, and I'm going to tell my other friends why they shouldn't date you. The sad thing is, some of my friends try to make excuses for them and want to date them anyway.

6. Personally, (and this is the big reason) I have felt like these activities are still meat-market experiences, and I have little interest in them. My girlfriends all go there with hungry eyes. And I have avoided these gatherings because I am not like that. I don't drool, I don't play games, I don't manipulate. I like to meet new people, but it's very exhausting at these types of functions. I have just felt that with my health issues and lack of energy, that God wants me to use my energy wisely - like taking care of my parents, taking care of myself, hanging out with friends and family, and being involved in my church. I would like to be married, but I am not going to make it my life's work. If I am doing what God wants me to do with my life, I know that He has the power to orchestrate the circumstances to bring a man into my life. Or not. It's up to Him. I'm just gonna do every day what I think I am supposed to do, and not worry about it.

*SFB = **** For Brains, because, not that their ex wives are perfect - nobody is. But only an idiot would leave these wonderful women, go to prostitutes, be addicted to internet porn and spend away their life savings, beat up their wives, trash their homes and cars, hold a knife to their throat and threaten to kill them if they ever left them, be emotionally controlling - I could go on. Oh, and the SFB's think they did nothing wrong.

These are all authentic circumstances, and I have gone to court with several of the women in these situations.

The reason I may go this one is that a local band is playing - I haven't heard them yet, but I am intrigued. So it has the potential to be a funtivity, but it could be lame, and it all depends on how much we get done around the house.

PS - I don't hate men - really! I know plenty of nice guys - they're either married, gay or they are my relatives.

I can second this.



This sort of hypocrisy is a huge reason I don't go to church anymore. I'm getting pretty good at seeing right through these people - male and female. Sadly, some of the SFB's wives are way too willing to overlook this behavior. It's their duty, you know.

UPDATE:

So, we exchanged another message back and forth and I found out that she got accepted to graduate school and will be moving closer to where I live soon.

Has anyone ever experienced something so weird, yet so right? Its almost like its fate.

Even with all the reasons you listed, you should still give it a chance. Could be fun.

You should go VB! You may have fun. And who knows, the guy meant for you may be there.




That amazes me what some women will overlook. My wife overlooks nothing! My fondness of Pam Beesly is the MAX bad behavior I'm allowed! And that's because it's only fair - I dealt with her Clint Eastwood crush for years (we have all of his movies).

Mrs RC has no problems telling me to straighten up, as evidenced by her recent 'Start treating my friend nicer!'.



Sounds like things are really working out! Keep up posted!



I agree with Wedd. You're a really nice person, VB. There is definetly a guy for you.

I won't even discuss what happened at church camp.

I've been reading this thread just to see what happens between you and this girl.

I met my husband when we were standing in line to register for classes in college. (Long before the internet.) He was in line behind me. We exchanged small talk, then went our separate ways. After that it seemed we kept spotting each other on campus and sort of smiling then looking away. Then one day, I found a wallet on the ground outside the field house. Yeah....it was his. He had put it on top of his car and then driven away. I called him, he came to my apartment to get it, and the rest is history. We've been married for 27 years.

That's a GREAT story BMaC! And congrats for 27 years!!

Thanks for all the positive support BMAC. I can't even explain it. From the first time I saw this girl, there was just something about her. And what I find really odd is that I NEVER introduce myself to people I dont know, esp girls. But, I saw her standing outside that night and I started talking to her and then a voice inside me said "introduce yourself" and I did. That has NEVER happened to me before. I dont know if I should be scared or just go with it.

I'll just go with it.

Absolutely go with it!! No matter what happens, you'll learn something. I bet it will turn out great!

Wow! Talk about fate and something being meant to be!


The unhappy version of this story happened to me, but it was in the College Bookstore. I met a great girl in line and we hit it off big time. It was back when I was a big chicken about asking women out and as she headed for the register to check out and said "Bye" and (looking back) gave me every hint to ask her out and after checking out I frantically looked for her with no avail. I headed to class after that , confident I would see her around campus, one of my buddies told me I blew it and odds were I would never see her again. He was right

I am really glad it worked out for you because I was on the other end of one of those meetings, it's obvious that you and your hubby were meant to be.

As a guy, and I am the other guys here can interject something similar, it is tough. I don't miss that uneasy feeling in your stomach, the part of you wanting to talk to her pushing your body forward while your doubts pull you back. It's the worst feeling in the world.

But if you weigh the pros vs the cons. If you introduce yourself the worst thing that will likely happen is the girl/woman thinks you are a creep and you are no worse off for the experience. The really bad experiences like Jim Carrey shouting out "I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy" in Dumb and Dumber are incredibly rare.

The Pros are limitless. You might find the love of your life. You might make a great new friend or a million other good things that happen.

Also remember that women are far more often flattered when you intoriduce yourself or flirt when then than disgusted or creeped out.

Good luck man.

I agree--that is a great story!!

Sounds like you're pretty positive about this. The best of luck to you. Are you gonna wait until she moves closer to you or are you going to try having a reason to go where she lives currently.

Think I may have a "reason" to go close to her for coffee in the coming weeks.

Fate has handed you a gift. Run with it!

See, the problem is, the SFB's join a new church, say their wives were evil bi+ches who are trying to take all their money, etc. So there is no accountablilty or reprimand - anyone can join a church if you say the right things. Not all people in church are like that though. Don't give up.


Well, actually I sent one of my friends an email to see if she wanted to go. Some other friends of our will be there so we can meet up with them. She called me today and offered to help us paint, so that will be good. I just don't know if we'll finish in time, plus we have to switch out electrical outlets from 2 prong to 3 prong, hang new roman shades on the windows, put all the furniture back, clean all the furniture we have to put back (dust is not our friend), etc. As for the 40,000,000 knick-knacks, they are all boxed up until we get our laminate floors. Then the parents and I will go through them together to see what they want to keep or donate.


Because you already told us.


Awwwww, that is so sweet!

Was there money in the wallet?


As long as it's only one voice, keep listening to that voice. Good for you! Keep us posted.

BMAC I love your story, congrats on 27 years together. You've given my a warm fuzzie.

Didn't go to singles thing, still painting. But another of my friends did go, and she has an upcoming lunch date. Plus she said there were a lot of emotionally healthy people there, not those people that suck the life out of the room. So I may go to their next event.