Vickie style.
I know several somebodies like that, but so far they're not seeing me that way. I just had a fantastic night with one of them a few weeks ago, but the flirting was minimal. It wasn't non-existent, which gives me hope, but there wasn't that much to build on either. This particular girl is incredible.I totally am. I totally will.I dig. I know my girl's out there. If it takes me another ten years and I have to marry someone twenty years younger than me, I'm willing to make that sacrifice.
Your eight beats my five, but I'll raise you one "I'm the oldest by a few years". I guess that doesn't count for much. Of course, you'll get it right. We both will.Um, just don't drop that baby at midnight.

You know what, Count? If in ten years...Don't even get me started on the bad ones. I've seen some of the worst ever, and I will not go down that path...or aisle, as it were.

Wow, guys. Seriously, everything's cool. I'm a heck of a catch and I know it. I just haven't tried hard enough to get myself out there. I'm certainly feeling the though. Now I know where to come the next time I skin my knee and need somebody to kiss it and make it better.

Thanks

Thing are looking up for me already.

And here's one for the ladies.

Ummm, remember the story I told you guys about my next door neighbors? I think they are the couple in story #1, if you get my drift.

Story #2 is pretty sad, if you read the whole thing.


I was trying to find a video of the Jon Lovitz routine from Saturday Night Live - the one where he keeps telling women to lower their standards, but no luck.

OK, I promised everyone an update, so here it is.

Like I said, I have a date, of sorts. Her birthday is coming up this weekend and I did what you guys all suggested and told her that "i might be coming to (insert city here) for work this weekend". She immediately responded with "well, when its definite, be sure to let me know". I didn't even mention a date and she inferred it!

Anyway, after a few more confirmed plans, I agreed to take her out to dinner and drinks for her birthday this Saturday. Any suggestions on what I should wear? Casual?

She sounds excited when I talk about it and I find myself talking to her a lot over the the computer. She seems into me, so I guess i'll confirm my suspicions this weekend.

Does anyone have any dating advice? Good do's and don'ts? Ladies?

You weren't supposed to read past that 40,000,000 part.

I don't remember his lowered standards sketches, but I do remember "Get to know me!". I think they're different though.

I've linked a couple of Lowered Expectations scenes from MAD TV on youtube for Muffy when I've felt like making her laugh at my expense.

Remind me to tell you about the time I was proposed to by a girl that I wasn't even dating. No, it really happened, and she was serious. I gotta get to work right now though.

Dont be late!
Do compliment her on how good she looks...
Dont stare at her chest
Do ask her what drinks she prefers
Dont chit chat with the waiter/waitress, focus on her
Do have a good time



tease

First off....congratulations!

These are my do's and don'ts:
be on time
don't drink too much
open doors
be nice to the waitress (that says a lot about you to the girl)
smell good (and by good I mean clean...not cologne-ish)

You probably do this already.
Hope it goes well. You'll let us know, right?

Ok, I pose a challenge to everyone. Since I will be going on my first date with her on her birthday, I decided to giver her a compilation cd of music. Some may call it lame, but we both share an intense love of music, so this would be a gift that I know she would enjoy. Its personable and customized just for her.

Anyway, I need a good list of tracks for this cd. She loves country music like me, but shes open to anything. I want the lyrics to be subtle, yet quiet. I don't wanna give her something thats gonna scare her off.

So, I have started a list, just add songs to it if you like.

1. Kokomo - Beach Boys
2. Don't Wait - Dashboard Confessional
3. Feels Like Today - Rascal Flatts

If any of the songs that are posted inappropriate for this situation, just comment on it.

I finally decided to buy a (very) short-term subscription to an internet dating service so I can start responding to people properly instead of just grunting back to them with a canned reply.

I figured maybe if I paid for the service I might start getting more out of it.








Oh, stop it.

That's not what I meant.

I think that's a very sweet idea. It's thoughtful, doesn't cost anything, yet it's something she'll use everyday.
I have to ask...Kokomo?? are you kidding? Does she really like the Beach Boys or something? I hate that song. sorry.

Just idea surfing so the final compilation will be perfect.

Well becand, you are the one who has talked to her. If you aren't sure what she likes I'd stay away from most new stuff. People either like or don't like new music, there usually isn't an in between. I'd say go classic. You should be safe with just about any Eagles, Beatles, or CCR song you can find. Also, good luck, we're rooting for you.

Thanks BTB, that means alot.

Its nice to have you all behind me. I get so excited updating all of you.

Well we are all behind you 100% and are a little better than Michael to confide in.

Also I'm stuck single pining for a girl who isn't dating all of 07. Though I will live vicariously through people.

So tell me why you aren't going for her? I never quite understood...?

Never said I wasn't going for her she just decided not to date this year and respect that and decided that respecting that is probably a good idea if I want to go for her later.

Yes, that is a very good idea to respect her wishes. Good luck with her in the future.

Thanks I need it.

I happen to know that is not true.

Don't you want to entertain them with the story?

Consider yourself reminded. And you complain how you can't get a date. Oh, but I guess she didn't want to date you, just marry you.


Ok, first of all, stop asking us to do all of your work for you. But I would skip the CD - you give her a CD after you know her a little better, when you know more of what kind of music she likes. And I love the Beach Boys but Kokomo is the worst. How about flowers instead - nothing big, but a little posey or nosegay? Not a dozen roses - that's too serious. And not carnations - they're hideous.

Jerk.

One day at work several years ago, one of my coworkers told me, "Mmm - Your butt's gettin' big. Niiice." She wasn't lying. I was about thirty pounds heavier than I am now, and the only thing that benefited from that was my butt. I blushed, said thanks and went back to my desk.

About a week later, that same girl offered what may be the clumsiest, semi-insulting proposal this side of Pride and Prejudice. This was, like, eight years ago, so I'm not going to remember this verbatim, but it was something like... "Look, I need a husband, and I think you would be good. You got a job, and you take care of yourself. My kids would love you. I bet you'd like them too. You know, if you want to, we should get married. If you don't want to, keep this to yourself and don't tell anyone, a'ight?"

So yeah, I was that close to getting married once... To a girl who I had never really talked to before and had absolutely no interest in.

But if I could do it all over again...

Watching that scene finally came in handy! Now you're speaking our language.

well, at least you were in that marriage arena.

why do some women make a big deal about butts? I don't get it. I'll take a nicely shaped haiku anyday.

that story could be the butt of so many jokes.....but I wont be the one to start

red items = red flags
blue item = as if that was gonna happen!

So I take it you didn't fall madly in love with her like Miss Elizabeth Bennett? Does she still work there????

trying to picture Diapers blushing.....

At least you were a gentleman and thanked her for her, uh, compliment.

You're the best, MJ3.

fatherless children
an indecent proposal
all because my butt?

I think you just did.

Now ya know what's stuck in my head?

"Diapers got a big ole butt
I know I told ya I'd be true
But Diapers got a big ole butt
So I'm leavin' you."

That was years ago. Now I'm back to this.

My mom calls that, "hiney-less."

I just showed my brother this video and we came up with a great name for this...a badonkanot...

We laughed quite awhile.

We think we're hilarious.

Anytime I see that I will think of you now, D.

Okay so I was torn as to where to post this, but this seems to be the best place. Last night, for the second time in about three weeks, after closing up at night I have found my car dead in the parking lot. Both times I managed to find a pretty cute guy I work with to help jump start my car (different guy each time). First time, it worked no problem. Last night, not so much. This guy voluntarily stayed with me in the deserted parking lot while I waited for AAA to show up and tow my car. We sat there talking for about an hour before they showed up. It was actually fun to just stand around and talk (more fun than when my tire blew on the highway and I was stuck playing games on my cell phone to pass the time). More so when I found out it was just a fuse that had blown which is cheap to replace, easy to jerry-rig, and doesn't require a $3 a mile tow job. He then insisted on following me home to make sure I got back okay. It would have been really awkward if we weren't both single (actually, one of the other guys we worked with asked if he was okay staying with me and then asked something about "unless she's your girlfriend or something;" well, not yet *fingers crossed*).

Sounds like a gentlemanly move from a genuine guy. It's what I would have done so I say it's time to "lay on the charm". Good luck Lenny.

Yeah, the guy's obviously a gentleman, and if you like him, don't let him get away, at least until you get to know him better. Seriously, you know how to get a hold of him right?

I think you are, too.


Lenny, that is what normal people should do, male or female. And it is hard to find normal people these days. Following you home was over-and-above. But when you find a guy who does it without asking him to, it sounds like he has potential. I like good manners and good character.

does she know your screen name? maybe that sealed the deal.


I have seen that before (the butt, not the video)

It made me go blind for a sec. Either that or I just clenched my eyelids really really hard.

Clenched? . . . . . yeah, something was clenched.

Ok, I just tried to clench my eyelids.

Ok, ok. Let's just say I closed them really tight and was afraid to open them again until the bad pictures went away.

After seeing that, are you surprised that word came to mind?

I've been watching the profile of one guy that contacted me on the internet dating service I signed up with.

I'm pretty sure his name has changed a few times, and his age has jumped around within a 20 year range. Sometimes he has a photo and sometimes he doesn't. I reported him last night. Weird, and a little freaky. Thank goodness I have not responded to this one.

Good for you!!!

I just noticed it with a different one. This guy's picture is the same, but his age suddenly jumped by 7 years.

I need to keep a log.

So, does anyone have a date tonight?

Yeah, me neither. But I was feeling pretty sick today, so it's ok. This time.

My friend who went to the coffeehouse 2 weeks ago and met a guy who wanted to take her to lunch and asked for her phone number? Remember him? He never called her. And instead of making excuses for him, ("Oh, he's busy" "Maybe he's not divorced yet" "Maybe you intimidate him with your beauty" ) , we both went with, "He's just not that into you."

It's so freeing.

wtf is a date? Is this some new fangled thang?

uh...ahem. I'm sorry. Continue.



I love it.

Feel better

Who's into Diapers? Apparently, large breasted women who live a minimum of an hour away. I've had a couple of hits over the past week.

I let the first one, whom I was calling Boobs McGee, get away because I failed to call when I said I would. My fault entirely. I just choked. Ladies, you need to understand that it's not always a conspiracy. Men don't always purposely not call you. Sometimes they just fail to do so, then they kick themselves over it. She probably wouldn't have liked me calling her B. McGee anyway. But daaaaaayaamn. Seriously, they scared me. That's why I couldn't call.

It might be okay though, because the girl I started talking to a couple of days ago threw me a phone number, and I won't fail this time. On her list of interests...The Office and the Chicago Bears. We're both Scorpios. I don't know what the heck that means, but I tend to pay attention to horoscopes whenever I get a little crushy. She listed her best asset as...her chest. I don't know what's up with that. If I had large breasts, I still would have said personality or sense of humor. It almost seems degrading to say your best feature is "my sweet rack". That's an issue we can discuss over dinner, I suppose.

Do I need to delete this?

Should I add my standard disclaimer that I'm hardly a breast man? I just like talking about them because they're funny to me.

I probably shouldn't post at all until my filter gets back from Disneyland.