Good question!

With me, it's both.

I'm angry with myself for being a spineless blubbering idiot. But I learned, and nothing like that ever happened to me again.

But I'm also angry with the girl in question. What kind of person asks thier boyfriend to drive from Colorado to Wisconsin, breaks up with him and says 'I want to still be friends. And as a friend, can I borrow your car? I have a new boyfriend and his car is in the shop and we really want to see each other tonight'.

Anyone that would do that has no character. None at all. I'm no saint, but I've never done anything even close to that to another person. I'm angry that someone would do that to me. I didn't deserve that.

Yeah, she was a piece of work. Live and learn. It just seems there are these emotionally laden moments in life we would give a lot to go back and do over, say the right thing, walk away with our dignity. No do-overs though. *sigh*

Being a woman, I obviously do not advocate violence against women. That being said, I commend you for not knocking her out, because you would have been justified, in my opinion.

And you are so right, you didn't deserve that.

Do-overs..... That would be a scary thought. Some are obvious (like this situation). Other situations are far more complex....



Thanks Wedd! That was really nice of you to say.

I think it's split. I was in a really bad relationship with a guy who was still hung up on his ex (her parents didn't want them together for religious reasons) and he was crying to me about it and said, "If her parents weren't like that, we'd still be together and you wouldn't exist".

I was 16 and that hurt my feelings so bad--yeah, our relationship wouldn't exist, but I still would. And I didn't say a word because I was young and stupid and in love. So as angry as I am for him daring to say that, I am still just as angry at myself for not sticking up for myself.

PS--mixed--congrats on 8,000!!

Yeah, that would probably be like being able to read people's minds . . . . it would cause more harm than good.

That's terrible what that guy said to you. What a jerk!

He was with you, Wedd, one of the nicest people I've ever met, and he's whining about an ex.... ? That guy is worthless. He probably hates his life now because he's realized what a shallow existence he's leading.

Thanks!


RC, you have a talent for saying the right thing.

Yeah, well, he got his as outlined here. And his life sucks now from what I've heard, so that's a plus!!

Thanks for saying I'm nice!!! I needed that today!!

Nah... I just have no reservations about saying something nice to someone if it's true. I don't know why some people have issues with this. One of my best friends in the world has a major problem with this.

I've been reading Wedd's posts here since she joined and she is one awesome women. Her husband is a very lucky guy (and I mean that in a totally platonic way). We're lucky to have her here.

There's a lot of people here that are great and I'm not shy about saying it.

He's so wise.


Yeah, see, he really is wise.


I think it's both. The ex treated us like trash, and we let them. We wonder how we could be so stupid, but the good news is that the lessons we learn are a part of what makes us who we are today.


Thanks for the reminder - I love that story. It just shows that you and your husband are meant to be!

You had an ex treat you bad also VB????? Seriously????? I figured you'd be the heartbreaker, not the heartbreakee.

I think it's more anger at myself, but because it's so painful to acknowledge how naive and stupid I was, I transfer that anger over to the person that I allowed to get away with hurting me. But eventually, if I'm going to move forward, I have to take my share of the responsibility for those things.

I don't know about this one. I think when there is anger over a past break-up for me it's usually towards the other person. I've been lucky enough to have a couple of clean breaks. Those usually happened after I sat the girl who I was going out with down and tried to be calm about it, didn't patronize her and was honest. In most cases there is no more than a few tears which is a relief compared to one break-up I had.

How can I describe her. I think that I may say it best with the word jealous. EVERYTHING I did she was suspicious. Sometimes she wouldn't tell me and just withdraw herself. Other times she'd ask and I'd reassure her. After 5 months of dating it finally came to a head and I decided to end it. Not pretty. Thinking I had perfected the art of breaking up with my two other serious girlfriends I sat her down and told her all the things that were bothering me. Let's just say I'm still trying to replace a couple of broken dvd's and my bedside lamp. Haven't seen a storm like that since NBC covered Katrina...

Not to change the subject, but...
what happened to becand75 and that girl he met at the wedding? He hasn't checked in. Maybe they're spending all their time together. We need an update.

RC are you serious?? Did that really happen to you?? Some women are such and there are no other words but b1tches. Very sorry that things unfolded in such a crude manner.

My ex's friend used to call me heartless for saying that when I wanted to leave Boston to come back to cali I was going to just go. He guilted me into staying for nearly a year. When your young you let things happen that you know deep down you shouldn't. It gives you strength and courage later but it's always a hard lesson to learn. Well, I left boston and he's my ex.

^^ what a sad but touching story. breaking out the tissues

Liz, I went ahead and deleted my sad story about my first boyfriend. I got all sad and weepy thinking about him and then I felt guilty that I put that story on here. I think you were maybe the only one who read it.
I regretted sharing it the minute I did it, so that's why I deleted it. Sorry.

Yep and it totally sucked! I had a junkie old car but I made the trip from Colorado to Wisconsin so I could spend the weekend with her. I wasn't at her place for even 1 minute before she broke up with me. I was such an idiot to let her borrow my car for a date. What was I thinking?



Are you ok now BMaC?

As I was walking out of my college algebra class...a guy who is TOTALLY my type, looked up, smiled at me and said, "I LOVE your shirt!!!"

I just happened to be wearing my new Dunder Mifflin T


How PERFECT, right? What an amazing opportunity for me to walk up and strike up a conversation!.............WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?....did I smile, say, "I know, right!?"...and KEEP WALKING??????



WHAT IS MY FREAKING PROBLEM??????


I always sabatoge myself

Awesome! So is he in your class?

^^^

No I have no idea how I will ever see him again....He was working the "welcome freshman" booth outside the building.

Hmmmmm . . . . maybe he's an RA or something . . . . check tomorrow, though, he may be there all week. *crosses finger and toes*

^^^


That's the plan

One thing I miss about being single "Its all about you!" and spontaneity in all aspects of life.

I did this for a friend Sharp if you get crazed about this guy. I made a wanted poster for this guy she liked. She eventually found him. It didn't last but it worked atleast. Sometimes being single can make you nuts

^^^


Niiiiiiiiice! Great idea...hmmmm.

Yes. It was a long time ago, but still sad.

Hey, just because they treated me like trash doesn't mean I didn't break their hearts. They were all heartbroken, because they knew they'd never get anything else that would compare to me. I was young, naive and looking for love in all the wrong faces.

You were taken by surprise - it happens to the best of us. You silly girl - wash that shirt out every night and wear it daily. He's probably looking for you, too. And you could also advertise in the school paper about meeting in a bar or restaurant for Office Flans on Thursdays. Maybe he will show up (or even someone else!)

I read it and was very touched by it. But I respect your reasons for deleting it.

I bet you'll see him again Sharpie!

Can you imagine the conversation he's having with his friend?

Future Sharpie Boyfriend - "I saw the most amazing girl today"
Friend - "Did you talk to her?"
Future Sharpie Boyfriend - "I said I liked her shirt"
Friend - 'That's all you said?"
Future Sharpie Boyfriend - "She was really pretty and I got tongue tied"
Friend - "You need to find her"
Future Sharpie Boyfriend - "I know, hopefully I'll see her today"

Aww, what a great way to start my day!! You are so sweet!

HA HA!!! You just made my day too, RC!

Sad day.


I did not see him.

Alternate conversation:

Future Sharpie Boyfriend - "I saw the most amazing girl today"
Friend - "Did you talk to her?"
Future Sharpie Boyfriend - "I said I liked her shirt"
Friend - 'That's all you said?"
Future Sharpie Boyfriend - "You should have seen her shirt! She had a smokin' rack and I got tongue tied"
Friend - "You need to find her"
Future Sharpie Boyfriend - "I know, hopefully I'll see her today. I think she works for some company called Dunder-Muffins"

....while this is a true statement ...I like the fact that he actually recognized the shirt for what it is.


Good one, VB!

BMAC, it was just very touching and powerful your story. Understand why you took it down

VB what a bad influence you are

Hey Liz, thanks. Sometimes I feel like I share too much, which I know in my heart isn't true. It was weird for me to see that story in writing. See, the thing is that we were from very different backgrounds and my mother would not have approved of us dating. So I never told her about him. Then when he died I couldn't share that with her either. And his parents never knew about me and I didn't want to go up to them and say I was his girlfriend. So I just got through it on my own. It's not like we were in love or anything, but he was with me one minute and gone the next and there was no one I could even talk to about it. After 30 years, you'd think it wouldn't matter anymore, but it does.

Now I feel like I've said too much again, but oh well. I'll just let it be.

Going through something like that must be horrible bmac. I can't imagine having to go through something like that by myself. It's obvious that you came out a stonger person because of it though. It's stories like that that make me look at my life and say "maybe I don't have all that much to complain about". I'm glad you shared.

Wow BMaC. You have really experienced life, both the ups and downs.

Sometimes I feel the same way about things I post, but it also helps to get it out there and move past it a little. Whatever you feel comfortable with, we'll be here. And at the very least, you can always know that I will be in Venting giving a play by play of my nightmare or in Insomniac talking about the first (and only) time I did it on a waterbed! So there is always someone there spilling their guts just as much!!

You're right. It does help to just get it out and move on. I'm ok with it now. By the way, I loved your waterbed story. Especially the part where you knew it was the last time, but he didn't.
Thanks for the encouragement. I know you understand.

Yeah, here's a good being single story for you all. I was with my ex for six years, from 16-23. He was three years older than me and it was a bad relationship, emotional abuse, always that thought of possible physical abuse. It was just bad, but I did not have the strength to end it. He was my "first" everything and I didn't want to accept that I had made such mistakes.

Anyway, so his friend went off to the military and I had always had a little crush on him. He went away, we started writing each other these heartfelt letters about our hopes and dreams and all, and about three years into his four year stint, I realized I was in love with him. All of our friends realized it too,whenever he came home for visits. I would deny it, he would deny it, nothing physical ever happened., But at the 3 1/2 year mark, the letters turned into, what's going to happen when you're here, it's obvious we have a connection, what are we going to do about it. He would always say, nothing, you have a boyfriend who is my friend, I don't want anything to happen anyway (lie). So he was scheduled to come home Thanksgiving weekend and all of the friends went to pick him up at the airport, except for us--we weren't invited because it was pretty clear to all that bad things were going to happen once we were all in the same state again. So we stayed home and my mom and brothers went away so we had the house to ourselves.

It was pretty clear to the both of us that things were going to change, yet we had been avoiding the situation, even though I was trying to let him down gently by telling him that it wasn't working, if he found someone new at his new job I'd be okay with him dating and him responding by saying, I know this is because you are in love with Tom and I will kill the both of you if you ever get together. So of course, my immediate response was, no, that's not true, forget I said anything. It was really bad.

Anyway, so the night before Tom came home, we were alone and we started doing stuff and all I could think was that Tom was overseas, packing his bags right then to come home and that in less than 12 hours he would be home. Needless to say, it was not working on my end at all. All I kept thinking about was how much I wanted to be with him and not where I was at that moment (literally) and so I finally told him to just stop after about two (painful) minutes. It took me another month and a lot of violent threats to officially breakup with him, but we never did anything again after that night. I had pretty much decided that I was better off alone, maybe with Tom one day, maybe he was serious that he never wanted to be with me, but either away, I was better off alone than in the loveless situation I was in. I was ready and happy to be single, even if it was forever. Sometimes I read these stories and I see people say they want a boy/girlfriend right now and I always think, what's the rush? It's all such a gamble anyway, and you never know. Sometimes it's just better to be single and live the way you want to live instead of attached to someone for the sake of being attached.

PS--Tom & I finally got our acts together and have been married for almost 5 years now.

See, we knew you were made of quality stuff Wedd.

I try! I have a few friends who are single at 33 and they act like it is the end of the world and it's not. They're like, sure you can say that, you're married, but if something God forbid happened and I wasn't married anymore, I could be single again. There will be lonely moments, of course, but like I tell Jay, not every minute of every day is going to make you happy and you have to accept that.

My sister who is 28 is moving in w/her boyfriend of 10 months. But she has known him longer. She has only lived with one man(d!ckhead) when she was 20 to 23 and I think that really scarred her enough for her to move out overnight and literally leave him all the furniture. She never wanted to talk about why, and I wont ever push her about it. But the new guy she 'says' is the one and she is going to let it take its course. She wants kids and she wants them young too, since I tell her that I am tired now and my kids are old. I havent met him yet but hope to around the holiday time or so.

She laughs and says by the time she has kids, that my kids will be able to drive and see her too funny

Is this your super-hot sister?

I'm back and I'm playing catch-up. I may never leave this thread for more than an hour again....or five minutes, due to the new edit time constraint.

There are a few other threads I'm a little scared to open. That venting thread had some real doozies while I was gone.

LOL yes my super terrific hot sister

I thought of Diapers when i saw this...