I know there are lots of us on here: the single, unattached, but not entirely hopeless and loser-y. I've heard enough complaints in different threads that I thought there could be a place where we could gather, whether it's to register our complaints or talk about what makes being single awesome (if anyone has figured that out.) So share your stories about horrible set-ups, unsympathetic married friends, how awesome it is to be able to do whatever you want whenever you want, or anything else!



I'll start, I guess. I got the idea for this thread after reading that we needed something like this, but I got the push to do it tonight while I was making dinner. I just realized I never cook dinner for myself because it just reminds me that there's no one there to share it with, and it'd be so nice to be cooking for someone else for a change. That, and I cut myself twice. It would have been nice to have someone to yell the F-word at, instead of psychotically screaming it at the kitchen floor. Or maybe it would have been nice to have someone ask from another room "what's wrong?" I miss stuff like that.
Anyways, most of my friends are married. They were either married right out of high school, or have long since forgotten what it's like to be on your own. So I don't get a lot of sympathy and I don't like to be that whiny single friend anyways. If I do mention it, I just get typical knee-jerk advice, like "Oh, you'll find someone soon" or "As soon as you stop looking, you'll meet him" Thanks! Helpful!



Anyways, I hope you guys know what I'm talking about! So share away!

oh Queen.. you read my mind!

Tonight I have felt just ugly and I would love to have someone to say you are pretty. I ate dinner with my father tonight while sitting around all dating couples..

The only problem is that the guys right now my age.. party and drink.. not my cup of tea. sigh...

I am not in a happy mood

....not that you cut yourself...that's sad, but the way you said it was sooooo funny!!!!. I'm sorry you got hurt .

I know what you mean, Queenie. Lots of my friends got married out of High School and my best friend is NEVER without a BF. I'm kinda young, so I'm not really worried about it at the moment, but I do think about it a lot.

It's just nice to be able to do what I want and not really have anyone to answer to. I see my friends and I see that they have sacrifices to make and the decisions they make always affect the other person, so if they wanted to just up and change careers...it's not as easy.

My friend is working a job she hates to help her husband through college and then he'll do the same for her...unless children come along.

I suppose we can't really help that though, can we? If we meet THE ONE at a young age and you KNOW you are supposed to be together..why not take the next step?

I try to keep a tight reign on my jealousy though, because I would like to be married soon...oh well. Cliche....cliche...etc .

Oh! And Pam...I know this won't mean much...because I'm a girl, but you are really pretty. Seriously. I've seen your pics and it's true.

You took the words right out of my mouth. All my friends got married out of highschool ( do you not find it odd that our age group is getting maried so young??) and my best friend well she HAS to have a guy at every moment.

yeah I do like doing what I want when I want to do it!!


side note: lately I am feeling more single becasue even Soctty is not PMing me or talking to me

Sometimes I wonder if I missed out on anything by never being single. I had my first serious girlfriend at 15, then it was a continual string of girlfriends until I got married.

I remember seeing my single friends and being jealous of it sometimes.

I suppose I just didn't want to be alone.

Thanks

single gals unite right?!!

you look very pretty as well ( I have seen your pics)

just think after us getting to our weight loss goals we will look even better

the grass is always greener on the other side eh?

Yeah, my married friends say that as well. They all tell me to enjoy it while I can.

Very true.

I love being married. My wife and kids are great and I wouldn't change a thing for the world.

But I know I missed out on a lot of things. We watched '40 Year Old Virgin' last month. All the guys going out bonding and trying to pick up girls looks like so much fun. I can't relate to that, never did anything like that.

I'm so sorry Pam! I've been there many times myself. I may visit again tonight. If it helps at all, I agree with Sharpie. I've seen your photos, and you are really pretty. I know it's not the same as someone there, that you love, telling you though.

I wish I could tell you that guys your age will mature, and the playing field evens out. But something strange happens between then and now. Guys your age only turn into guys my age (27ish) and by now it seems like they're all either taken or are having their arrest records sealed (or both.)




Yeah, you and Pam are still young. What's bothering me lately is that I'm getting closer to 30. I know that's still young, but I guess I just saw myself having achieved things like marriage and kids by around 30.



Okay, I think this is another one of my problems right now, is that I no longer believe in The One. I don't think I'll ever go back to believing in The One, either. I do believe in people being right for certain people at the right time in their lives. I think the trick is just being there at the right place at the right time, and that it essentially comes down to a mixture of pure luck and hard work. I hope all this doesn't sound too pessimistic though! I haven't given up by a long shot.

Hey QOE, thanks for taking the initiative to start this thread.

I can relate to everything said so far. For better or worse (sorry for the pun) we live in a world that is geared toward pairs. It makes not thinking about being solo difficult sometimes. I like my freedom but I having someone special to share things with.

Rocker Creed, thanks for weighing in with the view from the other side of the fence, everything is relative. I watched an amazing JAM video today and I think you created it. Loved the editing and effects, especially the drawing that developed throughout the course of the video. Very well done.

Thanks for watching that and I'm glad you liked it.

My wife is threatening to retaliate with a pro-Karen video.

Thanks

Yeah, 24 seems like a really good age.. so you are telling me that by 27 they are all taken, or in jail..

Why do I suddenly hear a faint ticking?? ( My other problem is that my biological clock started ticking a while ago)




I can see how the big 30 would bring on such feelings. But trust me 27 is still young! Who knows you might be married at 30!

never ever give up! You are an awesome gal, any guy would be lucky to have you.




I still believe in the one.. would it be to mushy to say that I feel it in my heart. Certian days I just can feel his happiness and such. Yes I am a romantic

But every year I think there would be more than one .. so when I turn 27. ask me that question agian

That will be a very short video

Just forthe record, I'm 28, have a steady job, never had more than a speeding ticket, don't drink, exercise regularly, hav been told I look like the guy who played Angel on Buffy, and can't even get a woman to go to coffee, much less join me for a grilled cheese sandwich on the roof. I think people our age are incredibly gunshy.

But i remain hopeful for a FNB to compliment my Jim-yness.

I am a hopeless romantic, always have been and always will be, but I believe in my heart of hearts that somewhere out there, there is someone for everyone. It's so true, the second you stop looking is the second the very thing you are looking for will happen.

So here's to all the dreamers, the silly hearts, the believers...those who know that love is just around the corner and won't give up looking for it. Here's to the people who go on bad dates just waiting for the one right one.

I love ya'll!!! Peace, love, and all that other good stuff.

From just another girl in the world looking for her own Jim Halpert :)

Something like that. Maybe I've gotten more careful with age, but my best advice is 'be careful who you date!' Nice looking guys can be very charming and very deceiving.

Pam, when I was about 23, I went through a crazy phase where I just really wanted a baby...so badly. Thank god my sister stepped up and got pregnant. It really cured me of that incessant ticking. I love my nephew like no one else in the world, but having a child in my life really showed me how difficult it can be. In a weird way, I'm kind of nervous to have my own kids because I just can't imagine loving anyone else as much as I love my nephew. He is like a son to me in many ways. Anyways, maybe spending more time with kids would help dull the sound of that ticking!



Aw, that's so sweet, thanks Pam! Maybe one day, after we're married, I can turn to my hubby and say "I never believed in The One until I met you." And if he is The One, he'll roll his eyes and make a sarcastic but sweet comment.

Rocker you sound alot like me.

My husband is 6 years older than me and he did the whole college experience and other things(Army soldier, international travel when young) and I saw pictures of old gf's of his and heard stories from him/his brother/his friends on what he/they did and I was pretty shy as a teenager and did not have alot of boyfriends. We were married when I was 19 and he was 25.

I used to think I missed out but not really. We were married and he left for 8 months of Army duty 1500 miles away. I was devastated but that was the life of an Army wife. He told me to go out with my friends(ALL single) and just have fun. I kind of felt weird going out married w/o my husband but after a few times, I got used to it. I would go out w/friends, bar hopping, dancing etc. I would get asked to dance(he told me to dance if asked) have drinks bought for me. I would always state I was married and happily as well.


Grass is always greener...............

Yeah- it's been strange lately because a lot of people I know are getting engaged or married. The scary thing is that when my mom was a year younger than I am now she met my dad and they started dating. Then about 5 years later they got married. I'm pretty happy with being single right now (though that tends to vary from time to time.....)

Aww.. well I am a FNB looking for her Jim.. so I guess this means that there are both FNB and Jim's out there.. we just have to keep looking right!



Oh I was just about to say maybe I need another trip to my cousins. My Cousin has two kids, and her husband ( who I LOVE) always teases me that on the first day he can see that baby gleen in my eye and that by the third day sanity sets in and he can see the .. get me the heck out of here look.

Do not get me wrong I LOVE them to death!! But I also leave there house very happy that I have no child in the near future!!

I mean you really get tied down..I mean a sleeping baby on your chest is nice until he poops and you have to change his diaper







yep that sounds just like mine as well

I love that we both want them to make some scarcastic comment.. maybe he can even through in an office quote like, "I knew you were the one the first 24 min of the second day I met you"

That's a nice story.

It sounds like you got to experience at least a little bit of the single life (in a way).

Me too Pam! That sounds like me when I visit my sister's house. I start off cuddling, talking to, and playing with my nephew non-stop. By the third day, all I can manage is "uh-huh. u-huh. uh-huh. oh. wow." to his constant, five-year old chatter.



Oh. My. God. If he ever said that to me, I think I'd die of happiness. After I wiped away my tears from laughing so hard. Now THAT guy would be a keeper.

I've had my fair share of runs at love. And while most of them haven't added up to much, I guess I've taken something away from each of my relationships. I'm still hoping for my own Jim Halpert :) But I'd settle for a Dwight Schrute with better teeth!

yep that sounds about right! And about the third day when lydia comes to wake me up I pretend to sleep just so she will go away and I can have 20 more min to my self.

By the third day I want to go see a movie, go out and do whatever I want, and actually have quite. The first hour I drive him from there house I have nothing but quiet in the car.. becasue I miss it so much!



Yes!! THAT guy would be a keeper!! Sigh.

that ( humor) is #1 on my list!!!

Lol! Oh yes...watch out!


I know lots of people who got married at or in their early 30's...my mom didn't even have me until she was 33 . I see your point about THE ONE also..I was just using that as a example. I think there are several THE ONE'S in our lives and it kinda comes down to who we meet first.




I heard the first tick on my 21st birthday...it was loud.


Seriously Queen, you have NOTHING to worry about... there must be a lot of stupid men in L.A. if you haven't been snatched up yet .

Oh, man. I could write a book. I'll try to not take this thread over, but be careful... If this thread stays active for too long, there's a good chance Muffy will start PMing my phone number to some of you.

You girls are way too young to be so concerned.

I'm 34 and happen to know for a fact that I'm somebody's The One. I'm too awesome to not be.

You'll find yours.

I've only ever been single, so I have no idea what it feels like to be "taken." But I do know that I absolutely hated it whenever my friend's would disappear for months at a time whenever a new relationship started. I guess I used to care when I was 16-17, but I'm definitely enjoying singledom now.

And I'd say that it does not matter how good looking you are, I swear that most of the plainer one's are taken. That's my area at least... I used to judge myself on that one basis as well, it really gets you no where.

Agreed.

The age thing only really bothers me because I'm one of the last singles in my group of friends. That, and I feel a bit of pressure too from my parents. My parents were high-school sweethearts. They were married by the time they were 22, and my mom was pregnant with me at 25. So I've passed that point, and I hear a lot of "we're praying for you to meet someone". That gets old really really quickly. I mean, I appreciate the sentiment, but it's a little grating after a while.



Hm, I could post a whole 'nother gripe on being single in L.A. Yeah, there are lots of attractive guys here, and I've even been on a couple dates with aspiring actors. The problem is, is that I'm not. I'm not an aspiring actress, model, or singer. I'm really just an average girl, and that doesn't get a whole lot of attention in a city that's all about the superficial. I'm getting worked up just typing this, so maybe I'll save the rest of this vent for another day.

That's beautiful, D. I think I'm going to make that my daily affirmation.

awww

Yeah.. you are way to awesome not to be



Yeah.. I will trade you them for a good ole country boy.... maybe we should switch coast one week Queen!

yeah I say we have a venting about the men in your area day! I would LOVE that!!

Ugh...one more thing. Can I just say that I live in the midwest where everyone gets married when they are like 17!!!!!

How am I supposed to find a decent guy when they are already taken!?!?!?!?

HA.. I live in the south.. were everyone is high school sweet hearts that met at church.

Oh and the ones that are not taken.. are the boys who love there guns and trucks more then the women they hit.

Yeah, let's trade places Pam! I could really use the charm and sweet-sounding accent of a decent country boy!

Good idea Pam! I know it's hard to find someone here in L.A., but I doubt the story would change much anywhere else. Every locale has it's problems, and being stuck in single-hood is a national epidemic.

Wow, what a great thread. I'm 35 and still single. I'm now mature enough to really be married, so it didn't really bother me much until a couple of years ago, but now I am really getting discouraged. I'm a teacher, and I just don't even know where to meet guys anymore. I used to have lots of dates and several great boyfriends in high school and college, but after that, it really got hard to meet quality singles. My only hope is that a great, involved, funny, handsome single father will walk into my classroom with his 7 year old and sweep me off my feet.

I'm not shy, but it takes me a while to get to know someone and to really let them know me. I always wanted to get to know someone as friends first...maybe for years...and then have it turn into more. I always wanted to say, "I married my best friend". I think that's why I am so drawn to the JAM relationship. When I'm set up on blind dates, it's really hard to go out and have to start talking to someone I've never met with the pressure that he's either going to be my husband or nothing. But now, I feel like there's not enough time left to have one of those long drawn out relatoinships, so maybe I just don't give dates a chance.

I don't think I'd care what age I married, but I have always wanted kids. I still want that very much, but lately I've also realized it would be nice to have someone to "grow old with". I'm an only child and don't have much family, so it would be nice to have a partner to help get through those rough patches...aging parents etc.

Anyway, didn't mean to ramble, but thanks for the place to share my thoughts. And you girls that are in your early to mid 20's. Don't worry. You're sooo young!

Let's share ideas of how and where to meet new possibilities.

All the advice you talk about at the end of the post is the kind of advise you get from someone who doesn't have the balls to tell you the truth. I on the other hand would be glad to tell you the truth. First off to start off, I am a 20-year-old male from California, who has not experienced as much of life as most of you have but I assure you that I know what I am talking about.

1. Life is about confidence: First off, right now just by your post and the post of many others here, it sounds like many of you are lacking confidence in yourselves. Trust me, confidence is of great importance. If you believe in yourself, others will too. Listening to your statement about you cutting yourself sounds like you have it in your head that you are doomed to live alone, which could not be far from the truth. Meeting new people takes a certain amount of confidence and personality. If you are at a bar or club, it takes confidence to approach someone, and since most people are so scared of being rejected, it makes it hard to get anywhere. So, the most important thing is believing in yourself. Believe that you are a great person and others will believe the same.

2. Don't expect anyone to change you, you need to do it yourself: About two months ago, I broke up with a girlfriend of 3.5 years. Needless to say, when I got out of the relationship I felt empty and alone. I was about thirty pounds overweight, and a little bit of an *******. Instead of crying about my weight and doing nothing about it, I worked my butt off. It takes hard work and dedication to initiate positive change in yourself. I started running everyday, and two weeks ago I joined the gym and have been going everyday. Moral of the story is that if you want something so badly that you are depressed because you can't have it, do something about it. Don't expect change to just happen, you have to do it yourself. I have now lost 25 pounds and it has really boosted my confidence. It is hard work to change habits that you have had for years, but once you do you will never regret it.

3. Guys don't like baggage: Just to be honest with you and get mad all you like, but the reality is that we don't like girls with mental problems, we like to have fun with a girl. Don't plan on showing your crazy side (if you have one) until the guy is wrapped around your finger. Just use your nice and fun side and we will start running.

Moral of the story is that you don't really need someone else to be happy, but when you think that's what you need, it can damage you. You need to work on yourself first. Be happy with yourself, and the guys will flock.

No one is going to help you except you. If there's something about yourself that you really don't like,

GET OFF YOUR *** AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!

If you're fat, start running.
If you're dumb, start studying.
If you're dramatic, try not to take everything so seriously.
You won't change unless you want to and that's the truth.

And stop cutting yourself and expecting someone to come into your life and turn everything into roses, life is too much fun to waste it crying over garbage.

You might have better luck with these girls than the ones who picked your number up from the bathroom stalls I wrote in....

If I'm going to be your pimp, I want to be the prettiest pimp of all the pimps.

Confidence isn't the key. Courage is. And courage has not a thing to do with whether you're afraid. It has to do with how you respond to fear.

I do believe in myself. Ironically, that's one of the most important reasons I am single right now. I'm also scared sh*tless half the time, but that's usually a pretty good sign that I'm pursuing something worth going after.

Pretty good advice whether you're single or not.



This makes me laugh. Maniacally at times. I (a female) don't like baggage or men with "mental problems" either. You know, the girl has an equal choice in the matter. She can choose. She can pursue. And she can run away if it gets too crazy.

As for where to meet people? I find myself in a couple of new environments lately that might give me a better shot at it. But, college and work are just that....college and work, and I intend to treat them primarily as such. They're not dating services. But you can't totally discount the possibility. I'll probably try a dating service, too, but not quite yet.

PrisonMike444, welcome to the boards! I agreed with parts of your post, I'm just singling out the above quote because it sounds like it was directed at me and my intentions for starting this thread. I appreciate your input, but I don't think that any part of my post implied that I am waiting for someone to come into my life and turn everything into roses. I have been independent for a long time, thanks to the love and support of my friends and family. Honestly, a lot of my life already is roses because of the hard work I have done on my own. I would just like someone to share that with. And I don't think wanting someone to share those happy, funny, or yes....even painful ...moments with is pathetic. (I don't know if that's how you meant it, but that's how I read it.) Anyways, finding someome to share those silly, small moments with... well, to me that's what life...and love...is all about.

Oh, this is the one I hate the most! It's so condescending, and usually given by women who were boy crazy/man chasers


That is so wonderful! And I don't think you missed out on anything - what are those guys really looking for and are they finding it? You already have everything.


I am an FOB (Fancy Old Beesly).


Yeah I've had similar experiences, and I like good teeth as well.


Humility is a virtue.
I am older than you, and there are slim pickin's out there. I meet guys mostly at church, but I haven't dated in awhile. I haven't even met anyone I am remotely interested in. I want someone who is happy in his life first, not someone who has an Amtrak full of baggage and is looking for someone to be their mommy. I want a fun grownup, like me. With good teeth.


Thanks for the advice , Roy - I mean Welcome to the boards PrisonMike444!

I'm a single woman (early 30's) and I love it. I've never defined myself by my relationship status. I'm sexy and driven - work hard, play hard, sleep later.

Tomorrow I leave for my fabulous vacation - going to Iceland. Never been there and I don't speak/understand a word of Icelandic. I'm going alone and doing everything I love - kayaking, caving, horseback riding. When I return, I'm defending my PhD and then looking for a research postdoc fellowship. I'm surrounded by incredible friends, family, colleagues... Life is pretty sweet.

"Be careful what you wish for. You may get it." (John Lennon)

27 is still young? I'll be 54 later this month: sorry to disappoint, but I'm not planning to check out any time soon. And 30? OMG: the only thing I remember about hitting 30 is that 30 hit back.



When it came to women when I was that age and single, the ones that weren't taken....were taken with themselves. They never bothered to look at me, cuz I was a decent guy and not a d**k like Roy Anderson seems to think they like. Sigh... Had I known then what I know now... Ladies love outlaws but they don't settle down with them.

LOL!!!!

Wonderful topic, QOE, I'm single and older than all of you and I can truly empathize with your thoughts about once again cooking dinner for one.

Over the years, I've heard it all from so-called friends…
"relax and he'll come to you"
"you give off a vibe that you're not interested"
"if you really wanted someone in your life, you'd have someone"
"he's just not that into you" - threw that one in for fun

I wish that from my vantage point I had some sage words to offer but I'm afraid it would sound the same as all of the other advice we have probably all heard a million times.

So instead, here are my thoughts on the bright side of being single:

For every dinner alone, I avoid having to deal with anyone else's bad mood over the dinner table. And referring over to the OT gripe thread, at least no one is intruding into my bathroom when I'm taking a shower. I am financially independent (a must for women of any age!), I can go anywhere I want anytime I want. If I feel like having ice cream for dinner, there's no one there to admonish me. If I feel like staying in sweats and ponytail all day, there's no one to give me a dirty look. If there are dirty socks on the floor, they're mine. If I'm having a bad day, I am not inflicting myself on anyone else.

Lastly, I love my job! I'm leaving work shortly to go to NYC for a business trip and tonight I'm going to a broadway show and can't wait.

Those were some great thoughts mybestfriend!

Being single is fabulous! It really is! I used to think I was just telling myself that, but I've started to see that it really is! Not to say that on special occasions it would be nice to have someone to share the time with, but that's not enough for me to feel sad about it.

I know I'm a good person, like Diapers said, I'm too awesome to NOT have someone out there for me.

For now I'm just enjoying the ride until I find him. And I'm going to make it one hell_of a fun ride!

Oh, and for those women out there who are feeling bad about being single, go watch Sex and the City! Seriously, the thoughts and lessons and ideas they discuss are amazing! (It's pretty hilarious too!) It taught me to see singledom and life in a completely different light, and I feel more confident because of it.

This one made me laugh. I left my relationship becasue of HIS baggage. In fact that is my problem.. all the guys I meet seem to have way to much baggage for me.




Olay that does sound like me. But really I had a D**K guy and I have had a pu**y kinda of guy... I would really like me a normal one now!!! Do I have to start looking in the bushes, or maybe the library??

I'm only 26 years old and I've been single for years, now. I've had people ask my why I'm not seeing anybody or if I get lonely. Sure, I have my moments (approx. 3-5 days a month ) where I get a case of "The Lonelies" but when it comes down to it, I just refuse to 'settle' for anything less than what I know I deserve. I spent my teenage years and early 20s chasing the bad boys and landing in a world of hurt. I've taken the past few years to find out more about myself. I've truly gotten to know who I am outside of a relationship and have established that I have no problems being alone. I have a few friends and cousins who I see fall for the wrong guys and I just tell them that there's nothing wrong with being alone. Its not worth liking someone for the sake of the feeling of liking someone...does that make sense? I'd rather be alone than put myself through a rollercoaster of emotions for a guy that has no intentions of pleasing me emotionally.

The majority of my closest friends have kids and are married. At one point, my pregnant friends would rub their bellies on me and proclaim that I was 'next'. Don't get me wrong, I ABSOLUTELY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE KIDS. I treat my niece like she is my own and the same goes for my Godsons but quite frankly, I don't even LIKE anyone enough to sleep with them. I come from a culture that is Pro-Family, Pro-Procreation, if you may. I've had family members asking me when I'm getting married or when I'm having kids. Some of my aunts and uncles asked me these kind of questions when I was 21, 22. Ridiculous! I felt like Tula from My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

I remember being young, aiming to have a family and be married by 25. Here I am, 26 years old, single and absolutely LOVING IT! With my friends having kids and getting married at young ages, I'll sometimes think about how I should settle down and have kids ASAP..then I remember that I have all the time in the world to do that.

Cheers to all the Singletons! For every "nothing fight" you see couples get into when you're out on the town enjoying the single life or for everytime you hear relationship horror stories through the gossip vine...raise your wine glass and be thankful it isn't your problem.

I swear to God, I would punch someone in the face if they did that to me, pregnant or not. To get off topic real quick, I am married and we do not want children. We are literally the only couple in the friends and family circle who are not either expecting or delivered. We have three godchildren and we are constantly explaining ourselves and our decision.

NO ONE has the right to tell you how to live your life. If you (meaning everyone) wind up single, so be it. If you choose to be single, that is your choice. I hope that no one in this thread is being harrassed about being single by others, or that they are being made to feel worse. And if that is the case, you can tell them all to go to hel1. Seriously, this makes me so angry---my mother told me she was going to come to my house and switch my birth control pills so that I would have an "accident" and she could have a grandchild. Then she didn't understand why we didn't go to visit for three months. Totally off topic, I know, but please don't let anyone tell you how to live your life. That is all.

There was a Dear Abby letter about this a few weeks back :

Dear Abby: I am a female who is almost 38 years old. Most of my adult life has been spent in school, working or traveling. It is only in the last two years that I have met someone and settled down somewhat – although we are not married. We are both artists, so much of our time is filled doing the things that we love and believe in. Neither of us feels a giant void in our relationship or our lives that needs to be filled by a baby. In the past year or so, several of my co-workers and other people I barely know keep asking, “When are you going to have a baby?” or, “You only have a couple more years – aren’t you going to have a baby?” or, “Don’t you want kids?” Abby, my family doesn’t even ask me these questions! I think they are extremely rude and intrusive, and I resent the simple-minded assumption that just because a person has a uterus and ovaries she must make a baby. How should I respond to these questions? – Childless And Happy In Texas


Dear Childless And Happy: There are several ways to handle questions that are nobody’s business. One is to deflect the question by asking another: “Why do you ask?” Or, “Why do you think that’s any of your business?” Alternatively, if you really want the person to back down, you can reply, “If it were any of your business, you’d already know the answer to that question. Please don’t ask me again!”