I hate how Lucas talks to Sami. He treats her like dirt and talks down to her. And then the way she begs him to forgive her, when she did nothing wrong, is disgusting. Lucas needs to go back to jail and get some loving for a cell mate (all male jail), then he will wake up and realize how to appreciate and treat a women. Ugh. Hate Lucas...

I left my husband for degrading me the way Lucas's character does to Sami, only difference is mine turned physical.
But I find it strange that no one mentions his behavior towards Sami affecting the children.
Kids are like sponges and they do tend to model after their parents.
Imagine Johnny berating women and Allie taking a verbal lashing just like Sami.
Scary thought huh.

I made mention of it.How is little Allie going to learn to relate to the opposite sex,when her Father,constantly,screams,frowns,yells,and makes her Mother crawl like a dog for a bone.If this was "just"cause of her sleeping with EJ it might change how I feel some,but this is "classic Lumi"he has ALWAYS treated her like crap.Its getting hard to watch,repetive,and I HATE it

sami wouldn't be begging for forgiveness unless she was ashamed of what she did. lucas didn't have to make her feel that way. he walked away from her room, and she tore after him in tears. and where the heck is all this "berating" coming from? are we all watching the same show?

and seriously, with sami as a mother, it's laughable that some are concerned about lucas raising her. i guess if sami raised them alone, allie would turn out to be a woman whose sole focus in life was landing the next man at any cost, and johnny would lie constantly. those are the values sami still holds dear to this day, so she'll probably pass them down to her kids.

He hs been berating her since he showed back up..and yeah I agree scheming is one thing tho,,letting a man be verbaly abusive is entirely another,when you see your Dad do it to your Mom,over and over

Sami deserves it in my opinion. Lucas is only being 100% honest, calling out all of her mistakes and she denies everything everytime. Sami acts like a spoiled child.

I completely agree, it is so wrong for Lucas to treat Sami this way, and its nothing new he's always treated Sami horribly.

It does affect children, Will perfect proof of this. He does not respect Sami at all, and degrates her just like Lucas does. He also will most likely treat a girlfriend or wife like this because that is the only thing he has known growing up.

That's exactly right.
I don't talk to my wife the way Lucas does, but on the other hand, my wife isnt Sami...
She doesn't do stupid things like Sami does.
If someone raped my wife or coerced sex from her, I guarantee that she wouldn't willingly have sex with the guy later on just because she was "lonely".
And I guarantee that if some guy did rape my wife, I would have had better aim with that gun that Lucas did.

Lucas has always talked to Sami this way. Yes, Sami has done things, but so has Lucas. But he has always talked down to her. I still can't get over the fact that he said to her that Carrie was the good sister. And then the other day, he told her she enjoyed "that night." That was a low blow. I am glad he apologized for that or I would be done with Lucas completely.
Classic Lumi is arguing and putting each other down and then kiss and make up. But really, I think it is getting old. They should both grow up and stop talking to each other and acting like they do.
I understand Lucas being upset to come home and see what he saw. But he did push her away and tell her to move on. She can't help who she moved on with. And yes, in reality, people do not go into a relationship with someone that they claim to have raped them.
I think the whole thing was poorly written. I blame that on Sheffer. I think Higley is actually doing good trying to "fix" the whole thing. There are a lot of emotions going on right now.
But as far as Lucas berating her, he has always done that. I can't stand to listen to it anymore. He is upset right now at who she moved on with, I think more than the fact that she was with someone else. I think it is more of who she was with.
As much as I used to love Lumi together, I am pretty much done with them. I want to see them both move on with someone new.

Oh yeah, and to go back to the OP's title of the thread, I wouldn't put up with someone talking like that to me all the time either. I had my share of being verbally abused and I got out of it. And there was also a small share of physical in with it. I would never stick around like that again with anyone. It makes you lose your self-esteem. Sami is not a confident woman when she is with Lucas.

Well as a woman I wouldn't have helped my blackmailer/rapist/stalker stay in the country and I definitely wouldn't have had sex with him like Sami just did with EJ. But to each their own.

Sami did nothing wrong??

Oh come on!! Lets see:

She had sex with the enemy
She had sex with the person that raped her
Helped the man that violated her stay in the country
Had the man that violated her babysit her children


Those four reasons are enough for any man to "yell" at his wife, uueemmm, excuse me ex-wife..
I was married to an abuser for thirteen flippen years, my bad, Lucas is/was NOTHING like him..

What do you expect him to do, say helll yeah Sami, I'm proud of you?? Give me a break, Sami deserves everything that Lucas dishes out, and if she can't take it, than I'm right she is the stepford wife of ej.. She is no little girl that just stepped off of the bus, she is a grown woman who should have never had sex with the enemy to begin with.. Stop laying all of the blame on Lucas, he is no saint by any means but at least he knows when Sami is lying.. You all make it seem that, that is all he does with her is yell, well, are we watching the same show?? He talks to her like a normal human being, as well, as she does to him.. If anyone is the bad guy, it is ej, he is the one that started this whole stupid s/l... By manipulating, stalking, raping, threatening, and eventually busting them up to begin with..

I married way too young the first time and put up with being treated EXACTLY like Sami is for way too long before I finally got out of it! The thing is that you start to believe what the abusive person says-that no one else would want you or that you're a ***** or a loser or any of the hundreds of ways they use to bring you down so you feel too insecure to ever leave them. You also get use to the verbal abuse until you start to accept it (and they buy you flowers afterwards and say how sorry they are and they didn't mean it!!)- It is especially hard to break free if your mother was also abused and you are use to living with that dysfunction day after day. So the effects on children are devastating. Whoever wrote and is writing the character of Lucas hits the personality of an abuser right on the head because my X was EXACTLY like him-maybe a little nicer because he'd cry and say how sorry he was after his fat mouth ranted on and on and I don't see Lucas do even that. YIKES!!! Lucas and his mouth can go serve out the rest of his attempted murder sentence back in prison because he hasn't changed a bit! Actually--most of them can't and don't change.

I'm sorry to hear that, my problem was is that I fought back, most of his was alcoholism though and drugs.. True some of it has stuck with me, but most of it I know was HIS insecurities, not mine.. It made me a tougher person, that is for sure.. But, I don't see any of this with Lucas.. I see a man who know that he lost his love to the man that raped her, ruined their marriage, etc. etc.. I see an angry man who claims he shot a man to protect his wife and family.. I'm sorry but I know woman that deserved to slapped and she is one of them.. I'm not going to rosy coat it, it is a fact, my ex sil deserves it, she is a c t..

you're right.. it's called emotional abuse

I wasn't watching when they were younger.. did he treat her that way then too

Hell no. I'd tell him to take of flying leap.

Lucas is a loser & he has to degrade Sami to make himself feel better. Need to get Sami away from him to build her self respect back.

I can't believe that Marlene lets Lucas says what he does to Sami. My mother would knock someone into tomorrow if someone talked to myself or my sister the way Lucas does.

That is exactly what it is, the man's insecurities.
But, I am not saying that Lucas doesn't have a right to be upset right now. I am looking at their past history. He has always talked down to Sami this way.

Yes he did treat that way when they were younger,,going as far as to tell Sami she was fat,and "if she lost some weight"maybe Austin would find her attractive..and Sami became bulimic...the point is,,this is Lucas's way,its always been his way.He most certainly never treated Carrie that way,or even Nicole..its only Sami,cause she stands there and takes it,,I would have kicked his a** to the curb YEARS ago

There is never, never, never any excuse for name calling!! Sami should deck him, take her kids, and leave the namby-pamby, panty-waist who has nothing better to do than berate the so called "love of his life." Geez, I'd hate to see how he treated her if he hated her.

why is name-calling a no-no unless sami is involved? she has called lucas, and most recently nicole, every horrible thing her tiny brain could come up with. i guess if "saint sami" calls people names, it's justified??? <rolls eyes>

I think Lucas and Sami just need a big break for now. They have too many issues and have always argued like that. This is all JMO, but I think it is getting old. I want them both to find someone new. Maybe one day they can get back together. But right now, all the arguing and name calling is just too much.

For me, it's not even the yelling, name calling, berating that makes me think Lucas is abusive (although it definitely plays a part). What does it is the constant threatening to(or in Will's case actually) take the children from her when he doesn't get his way or encounters something he doesn't like. I mean, come on, anyone with children here - you honestly think Sami deserves to lose her daughter over bumping uglies with another man?



The I'm taking my daughter bit is classic abuse - one parent using the children to force the other parent to knuckle under or to hurt them. Absolutely disgusting!!!

For all of you who have brought up that Lucas is using Ali against Sami as a type of abuse, I don't recall any of you posting in outrage on the times that Sami has told EJ she is taking Johnny and won't let him have anything to do with his son. By your own standards this means Sami is abusing EJ, right?

Yes Lucas yells at Sami and yes he has called her names so what? I can't imagine a relationship in the world were couples don't yell at each other or even call each other names in the heat of a fight. It would be unnatural IMO not to yell when fighting, not to call the person you are fighting with names in the heat of the moment. Doesn't mean you don't love them just means you are human.

I wouldn't want to be with someone that thinks it's ok to woman a ***** especially when said person told them to move on with their lives.

Actually, I recall several threads in which people were angry with Sami for threatening to take EJ's son from him. I know I posted in at least one.

Also, I don't understand why you view the things that Lucas says to Sami so flippantly. "So what?" He called her a lying ***** in front of her mother...that's "so what". Yes, my fiance and I argue, and we say hurtful things we don't mean. But regardless of anything that happens, he has never and will never call me a wh0re...because underneath all the anger of the argument he truly does love me and has respect for me. I don't feel that Lucas respects Sami, nor has he ever. After all the years he has dealt with Sami (both in a romantic and non-romantic way), he of all people should understand that turning away from her and being so hateful to her never achieves the effect he wants. So why not try to change the way things are? Sami's been trying to be a 'better person' for Lucas, so why is it so hard for him to reciprocate?


And luv, I agree that Sami shouldn't get a free pass on her actions either...but I have honestly never heard Sami say something so hateful to Lucas as when he called her a wh0re. Sami has more respect for Lucas than that (although it's very hard to see it at times).

I think Sami is awful for using Johnny against EJ. Any parent who does that is wrong wrong wrong as long as the other one is being a good parent.
Actually it's NOT unatural not to call your partner names when fighting if there is true love and respect involved. My X-husband was an abusive name caller but thankfully my 2nd hubby has NEVER called me a bad name-NEVER and we have been together for 18 years. The day before yesterday I crashed our van into our brick planter while backing out of our driveway and when I told and showed him the damage and he checked it out and came back in the house he called me a "silly dufus" with a wink and a smile on his face. Knowing me, he said, he thought it would be much much worse! He calls me a brat sometimes but never in anger-LOL--He is the most mellow person I have ever met and he has the patience of a saint. He has never even sworn at me--no, not all relationships involve nasty names or crude behavior! I am living proof of it! I guess some people are much more patient and understanding than others!! I still say there is NO excuse for Lucas to be so abrasive. I would NEVER want a daughter of mine to put up with what Sami does.

With all due respect there is a huge difference between having an accident with your car and sleeping with the man you said raped you. Everyone who is blasting Lucas in this thread is comparing apples with oranges. If you caught your spouse/boyfriend or girlfriend as the case may be in bed willingly with the person they claimed raped them and you don't call them a s|ut or a wh0re or b@stard or whatever then you have amazing willpower cause if I caught my husband in bed with another woman even if I had told him to move on while he was still claiming to love me and only me then I know I would go off on him and call him every name I could think of.

yes yes yes!! this is what i've been saying all along. i know if i were in lucas' place, i would assume that she must have lied about being raped and slept with ej of her free will. is that the whole story? of course not. but my logic and reasoning tell me that a rape victim would never sleep with her rapist. not two years later. not twenty years later. never! so in lucas' place, i would have called her a w hore and a lot more to boot. again, like lucas, i would have been thinking that she lied about being raped--which is so horrible it's practically unthinkable.

like i said before, the writers really wasted the opportunity to clear up some things and have sami talk about what happened that night and justify herself to lucas. i suspect they want to keep the triangle going, so they're not going to appease either the lucas or ej fans on any count.

But my point was that Lucas has always treated Sami this way, not just because of this. In this particular instance, Lucas is hurt (and I'm definitely not denying that he has a right to be), but the way he said things and the things he said after that incident is merely the last item in a long, long line of the crappy way he's treated Sami for years.

And again, she's done some crappy things to him too...but when have you ever seen Lucas begging Sami's forgiveness for something the way she constantly does to him? Lucas knows exactly how to hurt Sami, and he does it because it makes him feel better. Any chance I ever had of liking Lucas and Sami was absolutely destroyed after the way he talked to her when he 'caught her in bed' with Brandon when Kate set them up.

Did Lucas have to beg for Sami's forgiveness after he found out that she was telling the truth, that Kate set her up all along? Nope...he apologized, but he didn't cry and beg Sami to understand and believe that he loved her like she did when he found her in bed with Brandon.

I'd like to know the same thing! It wasn't just this incident that led Lucas to shout horrible names at Sami. And any name calling of anyone is wrong. I just don't understand that it doesn't bother some people or that they even say she deserved it. Nobody deserves to be called names like that, and as someone mentioned, to be hit.

Your posts on this subject have been spot on!



Do I wish Lucas would have worked harder for Sami to forgive him after what Kate did to her and Brandon, sure I do. Do I understand why he didn't believe her when it first happened? Of course I do because Sami has lied to him so many times it makes it hard for Lucas (or anyone) to automatically believe her about anything she says. Sami is like the girl who cried wolf only she is the girl who lies so much that she has caused people to no longer trust her to tell the truth.

I would buy this whole Lucas is abusive to Sami if it had always been one sided and if Lucas berated her over every little thing i.e. not having dinner ready when he gets home or not having the house clean enough or of speaking when he is watching tv or some idiotic reason that real abusers use to abuse their spouses. Any time Lucas has gone off on Sami it is because of something she has said or done to him. She gives just as good as she gets and she is not some quivering little flower who doesn't defend herself when she feels she needs to. In this case clearly she feels Lucas is in the right to be so upset with her and I agree with both of them.

My husband and I do not call each other any names when we are angry.
And Lucas is neither Sami's husband or boyfriend right now. But when he was, he was just as degrading to her.
And yes, I was angry at Sami when Kate asked her to take the stand for Lucas and she wouldn't help him. But they also wanted her to say that she drove him crazy. LOL I don't know if I would have done that or not either.

But that is the whole point,,he has ALWAYS treated her bad,unless he wants to hit the sheets..and as long as she is Carrie number 2

And when did Lucas get the saints award? Him and Sami are two of a kind, give me a break. All of the soap kids need counseling from what they see and do.

to me, pretty much everyone in town looks saintly next to sami.

I did not mean to compare my situation with that of Sami and Lucas-that is impossible-I am nothing like Sami-nor does an accident equal seeing a loved one making love with someone else! What I meant to do was to dispute what you said about there being name calling in "all marriages" (or relationships)---that just isn't so. I am NOT comparing apples and oranges-I am comparing a man with an anger problem and a very bad temper (being Lucas) to another rational person (being anyone.) Hope has caught Bo in bed with Billie- she did not call him a *****-monger or ****-lover-John saw a tape of Marlena in bed with Roman-he did NOT call Marlena a ***** -and I could go on and on. This is NOT the first time Lucas has done this to Sami. He has belittled her and used verbal abuse against her over and over again throughout their whole relationship. Period! I am not saying Sami is blameless OMG--who could??? I am saying that their (Sami and Lucas') relationship is and always has been dysfunctional and foul and it is tiresome to be watching the same old poo again.

Now, this is a classic abuser!!! (the highlighted part) True Lucas has apologized for the things that he has done to Sami, but Sami doesn't need to snivel and beg for his forgiveness.. She brings that all on herself, she always feels that she has to beg, but in reality she doesn't, as far as I'm concerned she is the classic drama queen.. Oh, and I have caught both my ex's with woman, the first I almost rolled my car, due to the anger and betrayel that I felt.. Yes, I called her a sl ut too!! My second yes, I never caught him but I always knew, and I have called him every name in the book due to anger.. My sweetie now, is the most considererate, patient man I have ever known, and we don't call each other names unless in play.. It depends on the situation, the people playing the parts, and how strong and vulnerable they are.. And yes, my sil's have called my daughters names, but if you get involved it will make it worse, otherwise, I would have went off on my one sil already.. But, to keep the peace I let her handle it!!! Now, she doesn't take any crap from him at all.. Sami is just a snively, that can't make up her mind whom she wants, she will keep on playing head games with both men, until neither want her..

The problem here is that Lucas has every right to be jealous and upset, but he had just kicked her to the curb in an email. If I'm not mistaken, that means they were not even boyfriend/girlfriend when she slept with EJ. He has no right to call her names in this case. How does that make her a w***re? That's the problem I have with this situation. Lucas and Sami were not even together when he walked in that room. What he should have done was storm out, get upset, cool off and then decide whether he wants to fight for Sami. Then, he could have told Sami she hurt him and he's disappointed, but he can't say that she cheated or anything. They weren't together.

Exactly! That was my point. She is not his wife, nor his girlfriend. He told her to move on. So how does that make her a lying, cheating wh0re?

for the millionth time, this isn't about her "cheating" on him. this is about her swearing up and down that ej raped her, and then turning around and sleeping with him less than two years later.

sure, marlena and bo both cheated on their spouses, but at no time did either of them accuse billie or roman of raping them. not once. that is the difference. if you can't see how horrible it was of sami to make that accusation, make lucas believe it, and then turn around and sleep with the accused rapist, then there's not a lot i can say to convince you otherwise.

I agree! Neither Sami and Lucas are saints here. Their fighting is just getting old. I'm tired of watching it. Please move these characters on.

lol
And, I'm not laughing at you or your post. Just that I always respect what you have to say.
Some people were talking about cheating, that was why I mentioned that.
As far as what she accused EJ of, I always stay out of those debates. I respect everyone's opinion on that and know that many feel very strongly about it. I think it was poorly written. If it had been written better, there wouldn't be so much debate about it.
Like I mentioned before, I understand Lucas being upset about her sleeping with the enemy. I was discussing the OP's original post of how Lucas always talks to Sami and he had no reason to call her that. IMO, it is getting old. And no, she is not a saint. But their arguing all the time is too much to listen to. I am ready for them to just move on. I used to love Lumi, but I don't really care for them together anymore.

And not only has she been swearing that EJ raped her but she has told Lucas repeatedly that she hates EJ and that Lucas is the only one she wants to be with. Then poof what was it even a day after he emails her and tells her to move on she is in bed with EJ he alleged enemy? Lucas had to wonder how long she had been lying to him and if she was having sex with EJ the whole time he (Lucas) had been gone.

As for the original argument that Lucas is abusive to Sami I still say no he isn't. Yes he rants and raves at her when they are fighting but Sami rants and raves right back at him and Lucas never yells at her over piddly little crap. His ranting and raving is always in reaction to something Sami has said or done and usually to him.

Totally in agreement here!!!

Lucas has known a longtime something was between Ejami,,I still strongly beleive that is the real reason he forgave her for the whole Lexie/Carrie debacle,he knew Ej was waiting in the wings...he has never treated Sami like a woman,,just like Ej said today,,I treat Samantha like a woman,,not a schoolgirl..right on baby

yea, i can get behind that. i don't particularly want them together either. if you have to try that hard, it isn't right. for either of them. JMO.

that's sad to know

I've seen some scenes (I guess when they were married the last time) but no dialogue at the time.

it take me a long time to kick that one to the curb..

it's not just calling her names. it's always reminding her of the past.. all those things that should be forgotten.. can't be fixed.. why keep bringing it up.. I know

As a woman, I would never want to have sex with my rapist.

I think Higley needs to write a flashback of that night. I know that no matter how it is written, a fanbase will be upset. But at least it would be cleared up. They need to either show for a fact that she didn't want to do it, where there would be no question from anyone. You know, show a little more detail, like her actually saying no during the act and struggling. Or have it turn out that once they got started, she started enjoying herself and was not actually forced but willing. Know what I mean? And then if she did give in to him and enjoyed it, then she was upset afterwards because she let herself enjoy it and felt guilty because of Lucas. Hope that all makes sense. But Sheffer did a very, very poor job of that s/l and somehow, somebody needs to fix it.
I know EJ keeps apologizing too. But IMO, I think a flashback would be helpful.