Soap Opera Mystery Hour — This week’s hottest blind items
— What major news is being kept under wraps? Even by The Suds Report! Sorry, our lips are sealed shut.

—Which east-coast newcomer is a closet lesbian?

—Which soap vet asked to be taken off contract but doesn’t want the fans or press to know?

—Which soap producer cares more about the state of his stars’ hair than acting rehearsals?

Dang! Fake out!
I thought you were going to tell who were the actors they refer to!