Hey Conan, you need "the newfoundland moose" What he does is go to a audience member and kick them in the nuts and run around singing " I'm the newfoundland moose, i just kicked a guy in the nuts" you can have a band make up a tune for it, and heck, i would even fly in to play the moose that does this dirty deed.
~A guy from Newfoundland, Canada~ Age 24