Jon Bon Jovi with Foo Fighters
09.29.07
From SNLWiki
33rd Season Premiere: LeBron James/Kanye West
Cold Opening: A Message From the All-But-Certain-To-Be-Next-President
The 33rd Season starts with a message from Hillary Clinton, who is confident she will be the next president. As she neglects Bill, she addresses her fellow democrat candidates, and apologizes in advance for beating them. She also addresses us about how things will go down when she is president from 2009 to 2016. She also says how anybody can be president if they put their mind to it, as long as you don't get in her way.
Opening Montage
Starring
- Fred Armisen
- Will Forte
- Bill Hader
- Darrell Hammond
- Seth Meyers
- Amy Poehler
- Maya Rudolph
- Andy Samberg
- Jason Sudeikis
- Kenan Thompson
- Kristen Wiig
- With your musical guest, Kanye West
- And Your host, LeBron James.
LeBron James's Monologue
LeBron is happy to be hosting the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. If you don't know him, he plays for the Cleveland Cavaliers in the NBA. He also says that he loves his family and misses them. After he says this, we see how his family reacts in disgust thinking that he doesn't mean that. But anyways, LeBron hopes you enjoy the episode!
Angry Dog
A mother and her two kids get worried when their dog gets bullied by the neighbor's dog. What can they do? Well, they can buy the new Angry Dog dog food. Even though it's not very nutritious, it has plenty of steroids that can power your dog up for a big old fight with the neighbor's dog! It can help blind men through streets faster then normal dogs, and it can keep your family safe. Side effects include biting, scratching, or hurting you in any way.
Penelope at an Auction
As the Children's Hope Auction, where LeBron James is about to action himself off for a very romantic night out in the city with one lucky lady, guess who shows up? Miss Penelope does. And don't worry, she hasn't changed over the summer. She still goes by her bragging ways. She will do anything to be the best at something! Penelope first annoys two women when they are just having a regular old conversation about their lives. Then, LeBron James comes up to action himself, and what does she do? She just keeps on bragging. She won't shut up! LeBron looses his temper, and walks off. Everybody is angry at her for ruining the auction, but she doesn't notice, because apparently, she grew a three foot beard in 2 seconds!
High School Musical 3: Return of the Seniors
Guess whats coming up! High School Musical 3, return of the seniors! Zac Efron comes back to reprise his role as Troy! Everything is looking great until a new guy comes in trying to join the basketball squad. But the Wild Cats aren't going to let that happen! They sing a song about how he isn't good enough to join. After the song, the new kid decides it isn't worth it, and changes his mind. But, also returning is Venessa Anne Hudgens reprising her role as Gabriella, and look, Gabriella is naked! Yay! On second thought, the new guy is staying. He'll play some hoops, and have sex with Gabriella. So, don't miss High School Musical 3!
SNL Digital Short: Iran So Far Away
What can he say? He loves the president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad! Yeah, so Mahmoud said there are now homosexuals in Iran, but come on, Andy loves him! Who cares about Iran? they're in New York now, baby. Adam Levine makes a special appearance to sing in this short. We also see a little shot of Jake Gyllenhaal.
Read to Acheive PSA
When Mike Underballs meets LeBron James to shoot the PSA for kids reading. But, Jeff, a crew member, is having a little trouble passing the ball correctly. After LeBron James tells him how to pass the ball politely, Jeff smartly remarks how he knows how to pass a ball. After a few takes, Jeff insults LeBron James, and it all ends up in a big 1 on 1 b-ball game. LeBron creams Jeff, but Jeff won't take losing for an answer.
The Lyle Cane Show
Lyle Cane is happy to be having his own show on the "black" BET Channel. Now, if you don't know Lyle, he has some problems, but you would never notice... or would you? On his show, he has a few other troubled in the head teenagers come on. The show ends a little short. Just about 55 minutes short. But don't miss out on the next episode, which is schedualed for October 7, 2010! Bye there!
Musical Performance
Kanye West performs a great Stronger and Good Life.
Weekend Update with Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler
Seth and Amy tell us the news for the season premiere! Guests include president of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, with his translator. Another guest is O.J. Simpson!
The Best of Solid Gold
Don't you miss those days of Solid Gold? From 1980 to 1988, you would watch every episode of Solid Gold. Well, you would watch every episode, unless you had a life and you were hanging around with your friends. But Alexander, Mark, Jamillah, Darcell, and Beverly were are on this special DVD. I suggest you buy it, because it has 1 out of 2 interviews from each dancer. If this doesn't entertain you, you're probably straight, and not like the person who is running this promo.
SNL TV Funhouse: The Ambiguously Gay Duo
Gary and Ace are back after a five year absence in a cartoon by Robert Smigel
106 & Park
Rosci and Terrance Jenkins talk to Kanye West about his anger problem with being a bad sport! Many cameras have caught him being a bad sport. There were cameras at the Kid's Choice Awards, The Nobel Peace Prize, Best Pumpkin Contest, and even backstage at Saturday Night Live! Kanye has the same excuse for all of these: He deserved to win them! What can he say?
Musical Performance
Kanye West performs Champion and Everything I am. He freestyles after messing up a line in his rap.
Guidance Counseling with LeBron James
Back in high school, Larry Baines tells LeBron that he doesn't need college, or a deploma! He will make it into the big leagues of basketball anyways! Who cares about education?!
Good Nights
LeBron wants to thank the cast, Kanye West, and everybody on SNL! He's had a great week, and this is the end of the 33rd Season Premiere
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